


AVENGER FALLOUT

by cinderspenguin



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Cheating, Double Penetration, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Love Triangles, Oral Sex, Sex, Sex Toys, Time Skips, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2020-10-13 11:40:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 32
Words: 67,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20581901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinderspenguin/pseuds/cinderspenguin
Summary: You and Tony were together for years. You met during the attack on New York.  Shortly after you and Tony become a couple, you also become close with Steve. Then come the accords. You have to choose a side, so you leave with Steve. But when Tony calls (or Bruce) you have to go back to face what you left behind and fight for your future.





	1. Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> So...This will be updated slower than I usually do because I am writing and posting as I go, versus my usual write a story then post it a chapter or two a day. I am trying this new way and see how it affects the story. with fed back etc. IF I GET ANY? But read and enjoy.
> 
> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> ***SIDE NOTE***  
SOME of the dialogues are taken directly from the movies. I do not claim to have written it, I just want people to be aware that I used it as a connection to the events.****
> 
> Due to the release of a new app that is allowing access to fics from this website, without consent… that makes money from ads shown while the app is being used, thus allowing the app owner to make money from my works, I am changing the access to my stories. I do not consent to any works published here to be used in third party apps, and I do not consent to those apps allowing others to make money from my creations. I apologize to any users who have been reading my fics without logging in, but I have to protect myself. Thank you for understanding.

“Tony…I can’t do this.” You are sitting on the sofa, hands clasped in between your legs.

“And what exactly is this? The accords or us?” His tone telling you he already knows, but is wanting to hear you say it.

“Tony…I can’t get behind any of this. You just signed your free will over to a government that is just as corrupt as SHIELD had become.” Looking up, tears brimming your eyes. “I won’t watch you become part of the next Hydra revolution.”

“Is that all it is?” Finishing pouring his drink before turning on you. “It has nothing to do with a certain super-soldier?”

“What you did to Barnes…that wasn’t right, and you know it. Barnes was under mind control..."

"And killed a lot of agents. You don’t blame him for that?"

“No, I don’t…Barnes showed remorse."

"Have you seen remorse from Barnes?" Taking a long drink, continuing. "Besides Barnes is not the one I am talking about, and you damn well know it!”

“Tony…” you sigh. Things between you and Steve have become…complicated since Ultron…since Tony cheated with some blonde at a party a few weeks after Ultron was defeated.

“Save it…I don’t need the half-truths and platitudes.” Tony pours himself another glass of bourbon. “So…just answer me this. When? When did you start fucking spangles?”

You feel the tears falling down your cheeks. You know how it feels to be betrayed, especially in that way. Tony has cheated on you a number of times in the three years you've been together. “Tony…”

“Just answer me…” Tony starts pacing. “When did MR. MORALITY cross the line to the fucking dark side with the rest of us!”

“Tony! That is enough!” Spinning around, hearing Steve’s voice, relief washing over you.

“And here he is…” Tony gestures to Steve, as if introducing him to a crowd of onlookers. “Coming to claim your prize? When were you going to tell me you were fucking my girlfriend, Cap?” 

Steve freezing in place, not surprised by the fact Tony knows, but the unbridled rage Tony has. Steve's eyes finding yours, seeing the tears streaming down your face, giving him the determination he needs. “Tony, I think that you need to calm down,” His voice calm but commanding. Tony, however, is verging on complete drunkenness and doesn’t care.

“Oh, that’s rich…you stride in here…knowing that I know about you and her…and you tell me to calm down!!” Tony moving over to square off with Steve. “I think I have every right to ask what the FUCK IS GOING ON!” Turning to you, Tony spits out. “This is what you want? Does he even know what the fuck he is doing in bed?” You can do nothing but stare at the two men, hurt and scared.

Steve grabs Tony’s arm, spinning Tony back to look at him. “Don’t talk to her, don’t even look at her.” Steve’s voice firm and protective. “I think you’ve hurt her enough.” 

Tony glaring at Steve. Steve continues talking. “If you really want to know, it was at the party you had to introduce the “new recruits” to the Avengers team. You left her, yet again, to cheat on her with some anorexic blonde model. She came to me for comfort. We went to my quarters for privacy.”

“I bet you did,” Tony says sitting down on the sofa opposite of you, on the corner turn of the sofa.The part serving as a separating point for the two of you. Steve sitting next to you protectively wrapping an arm around you. Tony raises a brow. Steve figuring since Tony is now aware of the situation, it served no purpose to hide your relationship anymore. “So, who made the first move, her or you?” Tony asking, keeping his attention on Steve.

“I did…” Steve says firmly. “I have been attracted to Y/N since the first day I met her, we met…I fell for her when she helped me with Bucky. And…” Looking at you, smiling. “I fell in love with her that night at the party, when we made love.” You look at him in shock, he never told you he is in love with you, not until this moment.

“So...the two of you have been lying to me for what…a year now?” Tony is back to pacing around the room. “And this is why you are leaving?” His eyes meeting yours. “because you are Cap's new play toy?”

“Tony…” Steve moving to stand in front of you, blocking you from Tony’s view, Steve’s stance tall and rigid, you recognize it as his fighting stance. You stand as well, but remain still, placing a hand on his back in an attempt to calm him. Steve looking over his shoulder at you, nodding.

“Tony…Steve is part of the reason, but the real reason is that I believe having the Avengers being their own governing body keeps EVERYONE in check, even our own country. You know this, you only signed the accords to hand off responsibility, you couldn’t handle it anymore.”

“Oh and Cap can? Is that what you are saying? So you think he is what? A better leader? Smarter?”

“Tony…Steve, he’s been through war, he understands the weight of the decisions, he’s come to terms with the consequences of his actions.”

“And that means running?” Tony’s glare meeting Steve’s. “Like a coward?”

“Tony…you did what you thought was right, I am doing what I think is right,” Steve answering evenly.

“Tony…” You try to regain his attention, knowing that the two men are about to throw punches. “No one is at fault here; it is just the circumstances leading to choices.” Taking Steve’s hand in yours, you begin to leave the room, but Tony, being the obstinate child as always, has to have the last word.

“So, Cap, this is it, huh, your leaving?”

“Yeah, Tony…I guess I am?” Steve says, stopping in the doorway, his hand still in yours.

“Well…” Tony looks to the now empty bottle in his hand, he has drunk what he figures to be a pint in the short time he was talking to you and then Steve. “I guess I was done with her anyway…” Gesturing to you with what is left of the drink in his hand. “Whores can only keep you interested in them for so long.”

Before you can even register what is happening, Steve is crossing the room, punching a very drunk Tony in the face. You scream, bringing the attention of Vision and Wanda, who have to use telekinetic force to separate the two apart. Tony’s face is bloodied and barely unrecognizable, Steve looks no different other than the murderous look on his face.

“Captain, I suggest you and Y/N leave, before this situation escalates any further.” Vision says to you both. “Wanda and I will rendezvous with you later, when we get the situation here under control.


	2. **Returning Home**

It has been two years since you last saw Tony, over three years, since the night you found yourself falling into the arms of Steve. You’re happy with Steve. He is attentive and loving. You have fallen in love with him, completely, in the two years you have spent with him while exhiled. Everything is perfect, the two of you travel for his work, seeing the world together. You run the missions while he and his team are on the field, developing a system and it works. You have reestablished a life. But then, you get the call, and now you and Steve must return to fight some being named Thanos, a being according to Bruce, who is a destroyer of worlds. You have to face Thanos, but first, you must face the problems you’ve left behind, the whole team will be needed for this.

“Steve, I’m not sure I can deal with this. I’m not sure if I can face him.” You feel tears falling from your eyes for the first time, since the night you walked away from the tower, from him. You feel Steve’s strong arms wrapping around you, pulling you to him on your shared bed.

“Baby, you don’t have to go if you don’t want. You can stay here.” Looking around the room, sunlight is pouring through the double doors leading to the veranda overlooking the Seine. The room looks and feels like heaven, whites and creams all around, the bedding feeling like clouds. If you could, you would stay there in that bed in Steve’s arms for an eternity, but you know Steve is not one to remain complacent, even for a moment. Despite not wanting to, you know you must leave here. You know, even though Steve says you can stay, he will need you with him, supporting him.

‘No…Steve, I do…If Tony is asking for our help…it has to be apocalyptic.” You sigh. “Besides, you’d fall apart without me.” Steve laughing softly.

“You’re probably right.” Rolling you over onto your back, hovering above you, looking down, he smiles. “But I think that you would be worse off than me.” He begins kissing down your neck. “You wouldn’t have this to wake up to in the morning.” His hand sliding down your side, his lips finding yours. You kiss him back, needing this time together before you leave. Once you are back at the compound, back around Tony, you’re unsure when you’ll have any alone time again.

A couple of hours later, the two of you join Natasha, Sam, Wanda, and Vision on the jet. Natasha’s grim expression telling you, everyone knows the gravity of Tony’s, well, Bruce’s call. “Nat, are you going to be okay? Seeing him again?” 

Nat’s eyes meeting yours. “Are you?” she redirects the answer to you. You turn to Steve who is sitting next to you. “I guess we’ll find out.” Steve pulls your hand into his holding it tightly. You look back to him, his eyes meeting yours mirroring the anxiety that you feel. You lean into him not ready for the nightmare you are about to face.

Arriving at the compound, you are greeted by silence. Walking off the jet, taking a moment to take everything in. The quietness of the compound is the first thing to strike you. You had forgotten how quiet this place can be. The air is fresh smelling like pine trees, rain, and fresh-cut grass. Remembering your time here, your mind jumping to the first time you made love to Steve. It was here, the first night the whole team had spent here.

**************************************

“Tony, I don’t get why you have to have all these people here.” You are fussing with your hair, looking at him over your shoulder in the mirror. He is standing behind you, adjusting his bowtie. “Everything you do, it doesn’t need a big party or announcement. Just be happy with yourself, you don’t need everyone else’s approval to be happy Tony, you just need your own.”

Tony stops messing with his tie, stepping closer to you, resting his hand on your shoulder. “You look absolutely stunning tonight.” You smile at him. You know he is trying to change the subject and you let him. You have learned over the years you’ve been with him, pushing conversations with him leads to the opposite of the effect desired.

“Thank you, you're looking pretty good yourself, handsome.” You turn to face him, Tony leaning in kissing you softly. “I think that we should get to the party. I believe the guests will be looking for their host by now.”

“Right as always." Tony smiling, taking your hand in his, leading you down the stairs to the party. As the two of you enter, all eyes are falling on you. Scanning the room quickly, the familiar sense of anxiety filling you. You don’t mind the parties, it is the expectation of everyone in the room that is unnerving you. Your eyes continue scanning for the eyes that always help to calm you in these situations. After a few seconds finding them, the blue acting as a beacon, pulling you in. When your eyes meet his, you see him looking at you, taking in your dress. A sheer deep navy-blue dress with sequin and embroidered patterning. The front of the dress is a very short midthigh length while the back comes down fully to the floor. The length is only revealed when the dress flares as you walk.

When you begin moving down the stairs, you notice Steve’s eyes going wide for a second. His eyes darting down, then back up meeting yours. You smile back, feeling Tony’s arm snaking around you, pulling you away from the draw of Steve, and to the man next to you. You know that Tony’s affection is just for the camera’s and the party, but you let yourself believe it is more than that. You let it pull you into the reality that you are with him. That despite the growing distance enveloping your relationship these past few months, you do care for Tony. You trying use the show of affection to forget the draw that you are feeling toward Steve.

At the bottom of the stairs, Tony leans in and kissing your cheek, cameras flashing, you smile for them. Tony is holding you to him for another minute as the pictures are taken. Afterwards, leading you through the crowd, introducing you to this person and that, the who’s who of the technological and financial world. Every once in a while, you pause, looking for and quickly finding Steve. Most of the time his eyes meeting yours with a nod, occasionally he is talking with a group of people and on a couple of occasions, you see him talking to attractive women, women who seem extremely friendly with him. You can feel a moment of jealousy rising in your mind, but you push it down telling yourself that you are with Tony, and he is free to be with whoever he wants.

After you finish making your rounds with Tony, you excuse yourself and heading off to the bar. A few seconds after ordering your drink, you feel him stepping up behind you, the familiar scent of his cologne filling your senses. Your heartbeat speeding up, turning to meet his eyes. “Steve…”

“You look beautiful Y/N.” Steve smiling down to you, standing what most would see as too close, but for you, he could never be close enough. “Tony should never have left you alone in this crowd, he might just lose you.”

You laugh, the sound is magical to Steve. “Only if I let myself get lost.” You respond turning back to get your drink from the bartender. “So, Steve, care to help a lady out? I am not much for all the crowds, got a quiet spot where we can talk?”

Steve smiles at you. This is one of the things that the two of you always shared, at parties, both of you tried to find sanctuary in a quiet place, where the crowd is muffled, but yet remaining part of the party. “Always.” Placing a hand gently on your back, he escorts you out onto the balcony on the far side of the large ballroom. “Is it that bad?” Steve asking you softly.

“It has been a month…” your eyes are pooling with tears. You quickly look out over the lawn, moving to the lake just beyond it. “He always off to a meeting or in the lab. I know he is cheating…again. I just don’t know with who.”

“Oh…Y/N. I’m so sorry. He is a fool.” Steve is instantly next to you. His arms around you, the warmth and comfort enveloping you. “He doesn’t know what he has.”

“Steve…” You turn to him, pressing your face into his chest, tears falling freely. “I don’t know how much longer I can take this.”

“Princess, you shouldn’t have to…You deserve so much more. You deserve someone who will be there for you and love you.” Silence filling the air. You can tell he wants to say more but for some reason, he abstains. After a moment, he continues. “Tony is an idiot and doesn’t deserve you.” You remain in his arms for a few more moments, soaking in the comfort and safety you feel there before pulling away.

“Steve, we should…” Motioning to the doors. People will be wondering.” Steve nods to you, slowly escorting you back inside, one hand on the small of your back. The two of you entering the room, within a minute Nat walks up to you. “There you are, Tony is looking for you.” Her eyes meeting Steve’s, before giving you an apologetic look. “He wanted to introduce you to some diplomat or something.” 

Shaking his head, Steve looks at you, “I’m sorry, you gonna be okay for a minute?” You nod and smile at him, grateful for his concern.

“I’ll get her a drink and get her onto the dance floor. She’ll be fine Rogers.” Nat wraps her arm around your waist. “Come on, let's go show these stiffs how to party.”

You can’t help but chuckle. Steve leans in close to your ear, his cheek brushing yours. “Save me a dance beautiful.” he lightly kisses your cheek. You smile at him as he pulls away.

“Of course…anytime.”

“Ok, you two…cool it down…I don’t want to have to turn the hose on you.” Nat jokes. Steve glaring at her before giving you one last look, then makes his way off to find Tony. You watch him leave, lost in thought. Wondering why you are allowing yourself to be drawn to the man when you are committed to another. “No one would blame you, ya know…” Nat says pulling you from your thoughts.

“What?”

“You and Steve.” She replies. Her tone telling you she thought it obvious who she is talking about. “Everyone sees how Tony treats you. And we all see how Steve is always there to pick up the pieces Tony leaves you in. It only makes sense that you'd chose him. He loves you; I can see it every time he is near you, and you feel something, don’t you?”

You feel your face going pale. “I…I’m with Tony.”

“I know you are in mind, but in heart, you are already gone. You are already with him.” She nods to Steve. You follow her glance and see Steve looking at you while some man, presumably the diplomat and Tony talk. Steve smiling at you, you look away. Scared to give away how you really feel.

“I need a drink.” You turn, heading to the bar, Natasha right behind you. After 3 or 4 drinks you are feeling pretty brave, making your way on to the dance floor. After a couple of upbeat songs the music slows. You turn looking to see if Tony is around, seeing him at a tall table in the corner with a blonde, she looks like she is a model or dancer. He is extremely close to her, and she has her hand on his arm, laughing at something he said. You feel yourself breaking inside, Natasha’s words echoing in your brain. Feeling the tears building, you turn to leave, wanting to get away from all of this, tired of being hurt. You spin right into Steve’s arms. 

“Hey…hey now, I’m here.” You wrap yourself around Steve, he pulls you in. “Let's just enjoy the music and see what happens. I’m here for you, I won’t leave.” He says softly to you.

“Please, don’t ever leave.” You lay your head against his chest and cry. The two of you begin swaying to the music.

“Never…” he whispers against the top of your head. The two of you dancing through the next two songs before deciding to sit. Steve leading you to a sofa near the balcony you were on earlier. Looking around the room, you see Tony leaving the room with the blonde he was talking to earlier, your heart sinking, knowing exactly where he is going and why.

“Steve, I need to leave here, now…Can we?” You say to him. He looks at you for a moment, then nods. 

He gets up off the sofa taking your hand, “Yes, come on.” You take his hand, heading to the elevators. You are unsure and curious as to where the two of you are going but you are sure that you will be safe wherever Steve takes you. The two of you stand in silence in the elevator, Steve hitting a button for a floor. You don’t pay attention to where, your thoughts focusing on what you saw a few minutes before. Tony leaving hand in hand with the blonde from the party. Your heart rebreaking into a thousand pieces. You feel Steve’s hand tightening on yours as the elevator comes to a stop. Steve looking to you, guiding you through the doors. You smile stepping out of the elevator glancing both ways in the hall. You know this is a living quarters floor, and not yours. You immediately know what Steve intends on, your heart begins racing, you have never been in his living quarters before.

“Steve?” your voice betraying your anxiety.

“Is this ok? It is the quietest place I could think of. No one will bother us here.” Steve says leading you to the door. Part of him feeling that once you are inside, you won’t be so apprehensive, you will completely relax.

“It’s…it’s fine Steve. I just…I can’t believe Tony is doing this to me, again!” You break into tears, sobbing fully, feeling your body giving out under grief. You grab onto the door frame, using it as a crutch, the emotions overwhelming you. Steve surprising you, sweeping you up bridal-style in his arms carrying you into the room. He walks past the living area, straight to his bedroom laying you on his bed. Feeling the softness beneath you, opening your eyes, seeing him lying next to you his face and chest hovering over you.

“Y/N…you need to forget him. He doesn’t appreciate you; he doesn’t care for you like I do.” He runs his hand over the side of your face, caressing your cheek. You look into his eyes, searching them for any sign of what he is thinking. Your own mind struggling with the desire to wrap your arms around the man above you, and lose yourself in him, in the safety and affection, he is offering you.

“Steve…I…” you begin, but then the images of Tony leaving with the blonde, pushing you in a different direction. You are unsure how Steve is going to react, but what Nat told you earlier is giving you the courage to see what would happen. You reach around him pulling him to you, kissing him softly, tentatively. He seems unsure for a moment, but then kisses you back with slightly more force, you feel the emotions flowing through the kiss, his cares for you, his need driving you to continue. You deepen the kiss, moving your hands down to his shoulders, pulling him to you, against you. You feel him shifting, moving over you. 

Breaking the kiss, his lips move down to your neck, kissing you softly. Your hands moving down his shoulders to his waist. You pulling him into you, and he moans as his body meets yours. You’re losing yourself in the moment and it both scares and excites you. “Steve…” you whisper into his ear as he is leaving wet kisses on your neck. “I…are you sure we should be…” you try asking him, but the feeling of him against you is driving you to pure lust.

“Only if you want me to…” Steve answering back. It is all you need to hear, the sheer need strangling his voice along with your desire for him, pushing you.

“Steve…” You pull his face back to yours, capturing his lips in a kiss of pure passion. Within moments his hands are moving down your waist to the hem of your dress. He doesn’t bother to get the dress off of you, he just pushes it up over your hips his hand quickly moving to your core. Your center already wet with anticipation. Your hands are moving to undo the buckle on his pants, the need building in you, too great. Your patience gone, months of pent up need, and your attraction for the man, overriding the need for exploration. You just need the release that he can give you.

He has your panties free sliding them down your legs, you lift one leg allowing the panties to hang on one foot. His hand immediately rushing to help you free him from his pants. “Baby, you sure…you want this.” He whispers against you ear, kissing your neck while waiting for your reply.

“I’ve never wanted anything more.” you almost moan in response feeling his fingers gently rubbing your core. Your words giving him permission to delve further, he quickly slides one finger inside of you, and you moan out loudly. His lips capturing yours again as his finger moves in and out of you, the feeling making you writhe in pleasure. He adds a second before moving his mouth back your neck. His hand pulling down the front of you dress as his mouth moves to lap at your exposed breast, pulling the nipple between his teeth. You cry out for him at the increase in pleasure. “Steve…God, I need you…please!” You cry out. Steve instantly pulling away. You moan at the loss, even if it is momentary.

In the next moment, Steve shifts slightly lining himself up with you. You feel him against your entrance, and he stills. “It's not...Tony could walk in at any moment.” He says to you softly, his voice strained.

“Steve, I need this…I need you.” Your eyes tearing at the raw emotion filling you at the moment. Steve leans in, you kissing you deeply as he enters you slowly a little at a time. You can feel him filling you, stretching you. You feel full and complete for the first time ever, when he is fully inside of you.

“Princess …look at me.” He whispers pulling away from you. Your eyes meeting his, he beings to move slowly in and out of you. His eyes never leaving yours, the movements gentle and meaningful. You feel the love he has, flowing from him into you. You can feel your orgasm rising inside of you, the slow movements bringing a new level of pleasure you thought impossible. You move your hands to his ass in an attempt to speed him up slightly. Steve grabbing your hands and quickly pushes them over your head holding them in place. “NO…I want to take my time. I want you to feel me.” His breath wet on your ear; his voice breathy as he continues moving slowly in you. Your climax sneaking up on you steady driving you crazy, the intensity of it making you want to cry. A tear slips out of your eye and Steve wipes it away with a free hand. “I'm right here baby, I’ve got you.” He moans out. You tighten your grip on him pulling him down and kissing him deeply, you feel your climax reaching its peak and you are soon tumbling into oblivion. It is the most wonderful feeling you’ve ever felt, your body feeling completely free, almost floating, but without the exhaustion.

Steve kisses you softly, but remains over you and inside of you. His body softening slowly. “I…I am…”

“Steve…that was perfect.” You give him a soft chaste kiss on the lips. “YOU were perfect…” You add. You see shame forming in his eyes and you know why. “Steve…he’s doing the same thing at this moment with someone else.”

Steve momentarily looking away; you pull his face back to yours. “Steve…I can’t just leave Tony, not now, not with the Ultron thing. It would look bad for him, for everyone. But I want you. I want this!” you say pulling him down to you kissing him fiercely, needing him again. Needing to show him that you want him, need him. You roll him onto his back still connected to him inside you. Once you are on top of him you reach behind you and attempt to unzip your dress.

“Here…” Steve says softly reaching around to help you with the zipper. He pulls it down slowly, his fingers tracing the exposed flesh behind it. The motion seems to be exciting him, you feel him hardening inside of you. Once the zipper is down you shimmy out of the dress pulling it over your head, exposing your naked form before him. Tossing the dress to the side you reach down and begin unbuttoning his shirt. Steve leaning up to give you better access, capturing your lips with his as your fingers makes quick work of the buttons. He helps you shed the shirt and jacket, his upper body fully exposed to you, and his erection filling you. You begin to move on him eliciting a loud groan from him. His hand immediately going to your hips guiding you at first. After a few moments, he flips both of you over. His lips capturing yours, as he sets a faster pace. His kiss stifling your moans and cries. He movements are completely different from before, this time they are filled with need and desire, you can tell he is trying to claim you, make you his, and the idea turns you on even more. Your hands are desperately grabbing onto to him for purchase. You move to wrap your legs around him, but he grabs them hitching then up with his arms. The new position bringing new pleasure. The feeling of him moving in and out of you bringing you higher.

“Steve…God, you…Christ, you feel good.” You cry out when his lips leave yours.

“I’ve wanted this for so long…God baby…I never knew you would feel this good…” He pants, his pace quickening with the admission. Your nails digging into him.

“Steve…FUCK…God YES!!” you cry out unsure of what to do, just riding out the waves of pleasure flowing through your body. Steve’s thrusts starting to become harder and more forcefully, you pull him down knowing if you don’t your screams of pleasure will draw in attention. His lips capture yours, and as if sensing the reason for your kiss, he increases his speed and strength turning you into putty in his arms. The bed begins creaking with the force, bouncing with the thrusts. Your mind leaving your body as the pleasure brings you to a higher place. And then fireworks literally flashing across the room. At first, you think it is your imagination but as you and Steve come down from your joint orgasm you realize that it is the end of the party fireworks Tony had set up. Your body is melting into Steve’s bed and you know that your muscles will not support your weight anytime soon. Steve moves to the side, this time pulling you with him.

“Princess, you can stay here if you want, but…”

“I know, but I don’t care, I doubt he’ll even notice I am gone.” You answer back, snuggling into him. “I want to stay here with you.”

“Anytime…princess.” He replies softly pulling you closer, finally feeling like he has found his place in the world, with you.

“Princess… baby…Y/N.” You’re pulled from your memory as you hear and feel Steve. You turn to see he has gotten your bags; they are hanging over his shoulder. “I know it's going to be hard coming back here, but you’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.” He leans over kissing you on the cheek as if to emphasize it for you. You smile back taking his hand in yours.

“I was just remembering the first night we spent together, the first night everyone was here together for the first time. Steve smiling back at you turning you to look at him, you see the others heading in with their bags.

“That was the best night of my life, you know, that right?” His eyes searching yours.

“I hope that I can make a few better ones for you in the future.” You say back shyly, a hint of seduction in your voice. Steve chuckling shaking his head responding, “I learned a long time ago to never underestimate you.” He wraps an arm around you as the two of you head inside.


	3. Mending Bridges

You follow Steve inside; the familiarity of the compound is odd to you. Even though you haven’t been there in two years it feels just like the day you left. Taking in the reality of being here, and what it means. The feeling of Steve squeezing your hand reminding you that you have people waiting. You make your way through the lobby to the elevators. The doors opening, finding the group gathered talking about Thanos.

When you and Steve enter the room, all eyes turn to you. You, however, only meet the eyes of one person. “Hello, Y/N,” Tony says softly to you. “You look good.” Instinctively you shift to partially hide behind Steve. A flood of shame and fear filling your mind. “Steve…” Tony says to Steve, not missing the arm you have wrapped around Steve's waist or how Steve's hand is holding yours to his abdomen.

“Tony…” Steve replies giving your hand a slight squeeze. There is an awkward silence in the room, you hear Sam mumbling something to Wanda. Your attention is drawn to them for a moment. You feel Steve tensing, turning your attention Tony stepping closer.

Tony walking past you and out the door. You fight the desire to turn and follow him, to talk to him, to tell him you’re sorry for what happened, but you know he needs time to adjust to seeing you with Steve. After Tony is gone, Rhodey clears his throat. “So… Here’s what we know so far.”

The briefing is simple but informative. Rhodey doesn’t want to waste anyone’s time, there isn’t much time to lose. Thanos is after the infinity stones and if he gets them all he will kill half of all life everywhere. 

“Do we know where they are?” Nat asks. Your mind on Steve, you know he is blaming himself for this. You know he is thinking if he was here, he could have helped or even stopped this from happening. 

You lean into him, his arm wrapping around your shoulders. “Steve…there is no way you could have known.” You whisper to him, trying to reassure him. “I know…” He says softly, turning to you. “But I never should have left the team vulnerable.” He pulls away from you, slamming his hands down on the table, getting everyone’s attention. “I let myself lose sight of the mission. This is all on me.” Shoving himself up from the table, leaving you sitting there with the rest of the team, or what is left of them, Thor is unaccounted for, as is Vision and Wanda. You feel yourself breaking into tears. You can’t help but feel like part of this is your fault. Instead of convincing Steve to stay, you gave him a reason to leave.

Nat comes over to you. “Y/N, it’s not your fault or his fault. No one could see this coming. Most of us didn’t even know what the infinity stones were until now.” You look up at the group sitting around you. They all seem to agree, nodding and sympathetic to your situation. “Steve…he takes on the weight of the world all the time. He was the first of us to encounter one of these stones. He probably believes that makes him responsible for them.”

“That’s ridiculous!” you counter, finding your voice.

“We know, Y/N,” Bruce says, pulling your attention to the others at the table. “But he doesn’t. You know better than anyone that he has this need to protect everyone he cares about, to the point of self-sacrifice.”

“I need to go…” You say, going after him. The rest of the team staying, hoping to come up with a plan, as well as discussing everything that has happened. You run down the hall to the elevator. “FRIDAY?”

“Yes, Ms. Y/L/N?”

“Where is Steve?”

“He is in the gym, Ms. Y/L/N.”

“Thank you, FRIDAY.” You should have known. The first thing he has always done when a mission goes south is to take out his frustrations out in the gym. You get into the elevator and push the button for the rec level. The elevator goes up instead of down. “FRIDAY?” you call out.

“I am sorry Y/N, Mr. Stark asked to see you when you were alone.” You sigh in frustration. This is not the time for this.

“Ok FRIDAY. Where is Tony?”

“He is in his office.”

“Thank you, FRIDAY.” You step off the elevator and head to Tony’s office. You take in a deep breath, walking to his office. Standing outside the door, you see him at his desk, looking out over the compound. You knock softly. “Tony…”

Tony spinning around… “Y/N…” You step inside, leaving the door open. He gets up from his desk moving around to the front of it. His eye meeting yours for a moment before they drop to the floor. “How have you been?”

“Tony…I don’t think how I’ve been is something we should be concerning ourselves with right now.” You move to stand in front of him. “We have bigger problems then my life with Steve.”

“So there is something there? The honeymoon over already?”

“Tony…” you shake your head. “Steve and I are good. Is this what you wanted me to talk with you about?”

“Is he good to you?” Tony asks, you can hear the hurt in his voice, mixed with concern.

You move over to the sofa sitting down, you get the feeling Tony isn’t going to let you go find Steve anytime soon. “Tony…don't torture yourself like this.” You look up to Tony, who is now walking over to sit next to you. He stops, closing the door to the office on the way. Watching him closing the door, your mind begins reeling with what Tony is up to.

“You didn’t answer me…” he says sitting next to you turning slightly to face you.

“Steve and I are great. He’s good to me. He is loyal and honest.” You answer him, trying to give him the answer you think will suit him. The truth is you are happier with Steve then you have even been with Tony.

Tony, looking at his hands folded in front of him, nodding. “And you’re okay with that nomadic lifestyle?” You know Tony is trying to hit you where it hurts. He knows you want to settle down. Buy a small house have a couple of children. You had mentioned this to Tony before, you have talked with Steve about that. Steve claims he wants the same thing, but life has just not allowed the two of you the chance to take that step.

“Tony…you know we didn’t have much choice.”

“YOU DID…” Tony soft tone becoming angry and accusatory. “YOU chose HIM.” Tony is facing you fully now, his eyes are conveying an anger you hadn’t seen since the day you walked out. You realize he means to pick up the fight you were having the day you left. Your eyes turning to the door, you know this time Steve isn’t going to diffuse the situation, not this time. He doesn’t even know you are here.

“Tony…” You try to choose your words carefully, keeping your tone as even as you can. “I chose the path I thought was right, the fact that it is the same path Steve has choosen, just…it is what it is.”

“So you are trying to tell me that FATE brought you together?” Tony scoffs at you. “So, what does he give you that I can’t?” Tony’s voice is rising. “I can give you anything he can, and you know it, so…why? Why him?”

“Tony…” Trying to slide away from him, but his hand moves to you thigh, grabbing onto it tightly holding it and you in place. “TONY…” You say loudly and firmly, anger filling you at his actions. In sheer anger you tell him what you were holding back. “STEVE gave me something you never could! HE gave me a man I didn’t have to worry about. Someone who would stay with me, and ONLY ME! He doesn’t run off and FUCK every pretty girl that batts her lashes at him.” You feel tears falling, the memories of the things Tony did to you filling your mind. “HE loves me for me. HE doesn’t parade me around like a trophy!” You look away from him, ashamed of yourself for crying in front of him.

“Sugar…” He moves closer to you, his other hand gripping your other thigh, his body moving within mere inches of your face, for the first time you can smell scotch on him, strong, overpowering. “I can be that for you…I learned.” You eyes meeting his, the pleading in them making you hurt for him. You can see he really means it, but it is too late, you are in love with Steve now. Anything you felt for him is either stuffed deep inside or gone.

“Tony…” you answer softly. “We are done. Anything we had…it’s long gone.” Wiping a tear from your eye. “You are special to me, you always will be, but I’m with Steve now.”

Tony stares at you for a few tense moments. You can see him battling in his mind, struggling with something you are unsure of. You think maybe it is with accepting you are with Steve, or that there is no chance for reconciliation. Before you can move away, he leans in, capturing your lips with his. His hands grabbing yours, pinning them on your thighs preventing you from moving. You can taste the alcohol on his lips and his tongue. His body begins to press forward pushing yours back against the sofa, pressing his into you, when you hear the door open. Tony pulling back quickly turning, you both see Steve in the doorway.

“Perfect…” Is all Steve says, abruptly turning to leave. Tony’s grip on you loosening just enough for you to break free, running after Steve.

“Steve…” you're running to him. His pace is fast for your shorter legs, but not so fast that you can’t catch up. He halts at the elevator pushing the button to the main level furiously. “It isn’t what it looks like.” You plead following him into the elevator.

“REALLY? Cause to me it looks like you and Tony are mending some fences.”

“Steve…He…I didn’t kiss him back.”

“Uh-huh…It looked like you weren’t exactly telling him no either.” Steve spits out, spinning on you.

“Steve, I came to look for you, and FRIDAY told me Tony needed to see me, so I went to talk to him. Steve, we have to work together. We NEED to work together, there isn’t many of us left!” You plead with him, tears filling your eyes. “We need to get along. All of us need to mend our relationships.” You immediately know what you said came out wrong.

“YEAH…I see that.” Steve’s glare meeting yours, stepping off the elevator, you quickly follow behind him. “It looks like you and Tony MENDED really well.”

“Steve…stop it. You know I love you.” You stop, realizing what you just said. It is the first time you ever told him you loved him, you knew you did, but were afraid to tell him. You see Steve stopping too, slowly turning to you, his eyes filling with fresh tears.

“Y/N…” his voice choked with emotion. “DO you? DO you really?” he needs to hear it again. You can tell. He needs to know that it is real and not a ploy to end the fight.

“YES…I mean it. You are the one I want to spend my future with…however long it may be.” You add, knowing that with everything that is happening it may not be to long. Steve is suddenly striding toward you, wrapping you in his arms, pulling you to him, his lips capturing yours in a deep passionate kiss. Your arms wrapping around him, as do your legs. The two of you lost in each other.

“Hey, your two get a room…” Sam chimes in. You break the kiss, Sam’s expression making you laugh. You bury your face into Steve’s chest. You feel one of Steve’s arms shifting, taking your bags from Sam.

“Yeah yeah…” Steve replies. You start to pull away from Steve, but his arms wrap around you tighter. “Where are you going?” His voice vibrating against your neck. “You’re not going anywhere, until I am done with you.” He turns walking to the bungalows were the team is set up to stay. You feel arousal building inside you, wrapping your legs tighter around his waist as the two of you make your way to your quarters.

Tony watches you from the window in his office. Watching Steve carry you across the compound, to your now shared quarters, cursing himself for pushing you too fast. He will win you back, but he needs to approach it differently, he needs to re-win your heart. When you and Steve disappear into the building across the way he sets his mind to work on his new plan.


	4. The Arrival

You lay sprawled out to Steve, pleasantly spent. “I'll never get used to this, you, being here with you. It’s just so perfect.” You sigh tracing patterns on his chest. “Can’t we just do what we talked about?”

“Hmm??”

“The house, kids, the simple life…” you reply softly.

“Baby…I think that we should wait until…”

“Until after Thanos…” You know where his thoughts are going already. “And then what? We wait again, until after the next mission, the next conflict.”

“Y/N…”

“No…Steve…if we keep waiting…there may not be a next time.”

“Baby…” He pulls you to him, trying to comfort you. You are getting angry, every time you bring up starting a family or settling down there is always an excuse, a reason. At first, they made sense, being on the run was an issue. But then you found a place, settled in, in Paris, under the radar. Steve’s excuse then was he wanted to be in the U.S. Now here you are, back home and there is yet another excuse. You were beginning to feel like there was more to it than that.

“Steve…do you want to settle down? Do you even want a family?” You feel yourself getting upset, angry tears threatening you.

“Of course I do…I just. I need to be able to make sure they are safe first.” Steve says in his defense, but you hear something in his voice, some other truth hidden behind his words. You move to get up, needing to give yourself some space. You need to figure out how you feel about Steve’s reluctance, and how you are going to handle it.

Steve grabs your arm. “Baby, where are you going?”

“I’m going to take a shower…” You say over your shoulder, then in an afterthought, turning to Steve, giving him a chaste kiss before making your way to the bathroom. When you come out, Steve is dressed sitting on the end of the bed, he seems to be deep in thought. You walk past him to your packed bag, pulling out jeans and T-shirt. You begin to dress when he speaks.

“I have a plan…” Steve says quietly. You turn to see him looking at you. His eyes pleading with you. “I have our future planned out. I just…I was waiting for us…the Avengers…to be whole again. I wanted our children to have a family.” You kneel in front of him, taking his hands in yours. “I wanted them to have what I didn’t.” his eyes drop to the floor. “But now…I am not even sure any of us will survive this, will survive fighting Thanos.”

“Steve…” looking up, his eye meeting ours. “Nothing in life is certain. But…we have to keep trying to make our life better, to keep moving forward. Steve, I want this…I want a life with you…I need a life with you.” You stand up, turning away from him, heading to the door, “I love you, Steve, but I can’t wait forever.” You say before you leave. Steve watching you, dropping his head, a tear escaping his eye.

You walk slowly and carefully making your way across the lawn to the pool area. You sit on a lounge chair and give some thought to your situation. Tony’s words eating away at your mind. 'Are you’re okay with this nomadic lif estyle? What does he give you that I can’t? I can give you anything he can, and you know it so…why? Why him?' You are starting to wonder yourself. Tony has stability, he has a place and no obvious reservations to give you the life you want. You love Steve though…you love him more than life. You are completely torn by the thoughts battling in your mind, you begin to cry again, huge sobs of grief, pain and doubt.

“Y/N…” You are to absorbed in your self-loathing to hear him. “Hey…” he pulls up an ottoman sitting next to you, hand reaching out taking yours. Concern etching the curves of his face. You pull him to you, hugging him close.

“Tony…he…I…he…he doesn’t…” you sob, trying to tell Tony what is going on in your mind. He pulls you closer to him, letting you cry. Just being there for you.

“It’s okay…I’m here…I can always be here.” He says smoothing your hair, holding your head to his chest. You begin a new round of sobs. You are unsure how long you are there, Tony holding you while you fall apart, but you know it has to have been a while.

“Boss, Nat is requesting everyone meet up in the conference room, there has been a development.” You hear FRIDAY, pulling you into a sense of reality, you don’t have time for meltdowns, there is a war about to be forged and you need to stay strong for Steve, for the team.

“Damn it!” Tony mumbles under his breath. He knows he almost had you. Steve fucked up somehow, and he almost had you. “Well, sugar…duty calls.” He says softly, standing up, offering you a hand, you take it, getting up. He continues holding your hand for a few moments as you walk to the entrance before you pull it away.

Gradually, you all make it to the conference room. You are sitting next to Steve with Bruce on the other side of you. You are so glad that he is back, in spite of the circumstances that brought him. Bruce, laying it all out for you. You still couldn’t believe that Asgard is gone, and Thor along with it. The loss tearing at you. You look around the room at the rest of the group, gauging their reactions, mostly the looks are of disbelief.

“So, that’s how I ended up here. I am not sure how long it will be before Thanos shows up, but we need to keep as many stones away from him as possible.” Bruce finishes.

“The time stone is with me, but it will become difficult to protect if Thanos gains the other stones.” Strange adds.

“So the plan is to get the other stones before Thanos. What do we know about where they are?” Steve starts.

“Well…Cap…there is one right there.” Tony points to Vision’s forehead. You roll your eyes at Tony. 

“I think we are looking for the ones we don’t have in our possession.” You snark at Tony, not amused with his attitude. “Natasha, we need to move, Thanos’s minions may still be trying to locate Strange, I am sure they won’t be very long. I'm assuming you have a plan to get the stones. Have any ideas? ”

“I do…” Nat answers back shooting a glaring look at Tony, daring him to interrupt her. Tony motions with his hands for her to continue. “We split into two teams. One team will confront the current threat while the rest of us try to locate and obtain the other stones and protect the mind stone.

“So who is going where?” You ask the room. Your eyes immediately turning to Steve, knowing that he will probably volunteer to fight.

“Since it was my idea to stop these creeps from the beginning. I am heading that team." Tony chiming in, your eyes immediately landing on him.

“Tony…you have no idea what you are up against.” you say.

“I’ll bring Bruce…” He shoots back. You look down at the table. Warring with the feeling of panic at losing Tony.

“Yeah, I can go with him,” Bruce says to you, you nod in thanks.

“I will go as well.” Strange replies. 

“Strange…You have one of the stones.” Steve points out in confusion.

“Actually…this could work.” Nat interrupting, before Strange or Tony can say anything. “We’d be able to keep an eye on both stones while keeping them in separate locations.”

“Yeah…that way…if we lose one, we can regroup and double up on the other.”

“But Vis…” Wanda’s voice is wrecked.

“Wanda…actually.” Vision stands up from the table, moving over to stand at its head. “I've been giving a good deal of thought to this entity in my head, about its nature, but also its composition. I think if it were exposed to a sufficiently powerful energy source, something very similar to its own signature, perhaps its molecular integrity could fail.”

“Yes, Vision and you with it!” Wanda is clearly getting upset. “Are we seriously talking about this?” She looks pleadingly at the rest of the group.

“Wanda… it may be the only option we have…” Vision responds.

“Not necessarily. Vision’s mind is made up of a complex construct of overlays; Jarvis, Ultron, Tony, me, the stone… all of them mixed together, all of them learning from one another." Bruce interjects.

Steve is the next to speak. “You're saying Vision isn't just the stone?” 

“I'm saying that if we take out the stone there's still a whole lot of Vision left, perhaps the best parts.”

Wanda is finally feeling hope, you can see it in her eyes. It is the same hope you had when Steve finally got the two of you the apartment in Paris, the chance for a future. Deciding to the question playing in her mind, knowing she wants to know but is probably too afraid of the answer. “Can we do that? Remove the stone without losing Vision?

“Not me…not here…” Bruce begins. “I don’t have the…Tony could…” Everyone turns to him.

“I would love to help you kid, but I don’t have to equipment something that intricate.”

“Well, you better find someone and somewhere fast…” Wanda’s tone turning dark, she is not going to give up on Vision that quickly, and you can’t blame her. You would feel the same in her shoes.

“I may have a place,” Steve says looking to Wanda, then you. You never felt more in love with him then at this moment. He is saving your best friend from severe heartache. In the moment, you completely forget everything that was said earlier. Wanda’s eye-filling with tears. You are looking at him trying to understand what he is thinking. Then it hits you.

“Wakanda…Shuri.” You whisper to yourself.

“Exactly…I have to make a few calls.” Steve says getting up, Wanda following behind him. As you watch the pair leave, you turn to Tony.

“Tony, are you sure you want to…” You don’t finish.

“I need to do something…” Tony says.

“Well, Bruce needs to come with us, just in case Shuri has questions.” You tell Tony.

“It’s ok, Doc and I can handle it; I can call in backup if needed,” Tony replies, getting up. Strange following him. Nat is still sitting at the far end of the table, in silence; Bruce shifting next to you, uncomfortably. 

“So…I’m going to cut the awkwardness here. Bruce, what you did. Leaving Nat behind, disappearing for 2 years. It was bullshit! She opened herself up to you and you ran.” Bruce’s face drops, looking up to Nat. “Natasha…I…I thought I was doing what was best for you, for us.”

“And who gives you the right to decide that by yourself?”

“Nat…” Bruce gets up moving over to her. You watch him walking to her. Nat's eyes following him. When he gets next to her, he leans in pulling her to him. You quietly slip out of the room, Vision following you. In the hallway, you run into Steve.

“We’re up in 20.” Wanda standing next to Steve, bursting with joy. “Who is with us?”

“Apart from the obvious, I think Nat and Bruce.”

Steve quirks an eyebrow at you. “Nat?”

“Yeah, I don’t think she is going to let Banner out of her sight anytime soon.” You reply with a sly smirk on your face.

“You amaze me…” Steve says wrapping his arms around you. “I never saw those two working things out.”

“Don’t thank me yet…” You say looking over your shoulder, Nat and Bruce emerging as if on cue. Natasha seems at least to be listening to Bruce, so that is a start. Banner still has a long way to making it up to her though. Natasha holds onto hurts longer than you, and that is saying something. You and Steve begin heading to your quarters to gather your things when FRIDAY makes an announcement.

“ATTENTION: AVENGERS!” The announcement starts very sternly. “Thanos’s scouts have landed in New York.”

“Okay, everyone let’s move out,” Steve calls out.


	5. **The Battle**

You watch as Steve and the team head out to the field. Thanos’s army has arrived. You are staying behind, trying to aid Shuri in releasing Vision from the mind stone. Your mind keeps going to Steve on the field. You can see the battle from where you are, and it is brutal.

“Shuri…how much longer?” panic in your voice.

“I am working as fast as I can. I almost have it.” You turn to see what is happening. Wanda is pacing anxiously to the left of you watching the battle. Before you can comprehend what is going on Wanda disappears. 

“What…” Your hand immediately going to the com. “Wanda where…?”

“They need my help, just stay there with Vis…Y/N…Please let me know when you have him.”

“Okay…” You answer her turning your attention onto Vision. Shuri is frantically waving her hands and the equipment responds in equally fast movements. You turn back to watch the battle, the tide seems to have shifted. You want to turn the com on and listen to what is happening, but a part of you is afraid of what you’ll hear. Afraid you’ll discover that Steve is gone.

“Y/N…I got it.” You spin around in time to see the stone floating freely from Vision’s body. Shuri grabbing a container, slowly encasing the stone inside. “Vision will need to realign his systems, but he should be okay in a few minutes.

“Wanda, Vision is in the clear…I repeat Vision is in the clear.” You call out into the coms.

“Y/N…get back to the jet! I need you to get out of here.” Steve’s voice comes over the com.

“Steve…” You call out, getting no answer. “Steve!!” You yell out. Panic coming over you as you run from the room. Within minutes you are running across the field of battle. Oddly, everyone seems to be gone or retreating. When you reach the tree line you hear the team calling out for each other. You run to the sounds of the voices. When you come to a clearing you see Steve, he is kneeling on the ground head hung low. You run to him, tears falling down your face. “Steve!! OH GOD…” You are overwhelmed with relief, you drop to your knees, the momentum pushing you another foot into him. Hearing you, Steve looks up just in time to catch you in his arms.

“Thank God…” Pulling you in, holding you tight, too tight, you can almost feel your ribs cracking from the pressure.

“Steve…” Your strangled breath making him realize he is hurting you. Pulling away, kissing you deeply, passionately. You fall backward with him on top of you. The two of you stay that way for another minute, lost in each other. Avoiding the grief and heartache of what was just lost, avoiding the reality of the situation.

“Hey…you two. I hate to interrupt the…moment. But we need to assess the damage and…T’Challa…he’s gone. We need to head back to base." Steve pulling a way from you instantly, “T’Challa…”

“Steve…we need to go back to the compound and coordinate. We need to regroup.” Nat says calmly at the two of you. You begin to stand, Steve offering you a hand pulling you to him.

“What about Vision?” You ask, as the three of you begin walking to the landing pad.

“Wanda has him. He’s on the jet waiting.”

“Nat…” Steve takes a deep breath. “Who is left? Do we even know yet?” Nat’s steps faltering for a moment. 

“We haven’t heard from Sam, Tony, Strange, the kid, or…to be honest all we have left is us, Rhodes, Bruce, Wanda and Vision, Thor and the raccoon. Beyond that, I am not sure…” her voice choking on her emotions for a moment. You can feel Steve’s hand tightening on yours.

“Nat…” You are almost ready to break completely. “What…where is Tony…did they?”

“Baby…he had the time stone…” You break into new tears, the assumed loss crippling you. Steve catching you, as you collapse, the reality becoming too much. He carries you the rest of the way. When you come to, you realize you are at the compound in your old quarters. Sitting up, looking around, finding the room empty. You suddenly feel sick, running to the bathroom. After you empty your stomach, you rinse out your mouth, deciding to take a hot bath. A little bit later you are getting dressed, when you hear a door opening and closing.

“Steve…” you call out, coming out of the bathroom. Steve is sitting on the sofa, the look of defeat heavy in his expression. You move over next to him.

“We lost…” is all he can say. “I lost.”

“Steve this wasn’t all on you. We all lost.” You wrap your arms around him. “We need to pull together and protect what we have left.”

“And what is that?!” Steve rebuts, moving away from you, standing up, anger edging his voice. “Y/N, the team is destroyed, the world is in ruins! What is there left to protect?”

You feel tears filling your eyes, the hurt, the unintentional rejection of his words tearing into you. “What about us Steve?” you begin crying. You can’t do this, you just said goodbye to a lot of people you considered family, and now Steve is acting like this! “Am I not enough? How about you fight for us? For what we wanted?”

“Baby…” turning to you, his voice softening. “You know I…”

“If you say, ‘there are other issues’ or some shit’…one more time!” Interrupting him, venom spilling from your voice. “There is nothing left to keep us from trying. The Avengers are gone, the world is going to be focused on rebuilding. I say it is time we build our own future.”

Steve’s hand reaches down, caressing your face. “Maybe we should get started then.” He leans in kissing your fiercely. You moan into it, your body surrendering, letting go of all the pain and anger from the day’s events. Your hands wrapping up around his waist as pulls you into him. He turns you pushing you slowly to the doorway to your bedroom, your feet struggling to keep under you. Getting impatient with your progress, he moves his hands from your waist to the backs of your thighs lifting you swiftly, wrapping you around his waist. Your arms tighten around his neck, breaking the kiss.

“Are you sure?” You ask him as he lays you across the bed.

“Yes…I…we lost…we lost our family. It showed me, again, that nothing is guaranteed. I keep putting of those I love, first with Peggy, then making amends with the team. It’s a lesson I am not ignoring again.” His lips kissing you softly, sliding down to the side of your body to your neck, kissing you softly there too. “But…before we start a family…” You knew it, here comes the but…

Steve moving away from you; you sit up on the bed, moving to the edge. “Steve…” You are so sick of this roller coaster of emotions.

“Baby…” he reaches out. “Come with me. I want to show you how serious I am, about our future. I want you and this a family, everything…please.”

You just want to punch him, but even through your anger, you want to give him a chance. After the last couple of days, you need something. “Okay…” you follow him, hand in hand. He walks to the main building, taking the elevator to Tony’s R&D lab. You want to ask him what the hell this has to do with the two of you and your future, but you remind yourself to give him a chance. Pulling you to a door before turning to you. 

“Close your eyes.” There is a hint of excitement in his voice.

“Steve…”

“Please…I promise this will make sense in a minute.”

“Okay…” You close your eyes, feeling slightly nervous, the anger lightly disappearing, curiosity replacing it. You hear him take a deep breath, opening the door he enters the room pulling you in with him. The first thing you feel is the feeling of grass under your feet. 

“Keep them closed…” the nervousness clearer in his voice. A few more steps in, he tells you to open them. When you do, you are speechless. Your eyes taking in your surroundings. 

“Steve…” you know now why he brought you here. “It looks exactly like…how?”

“You mean how did I bring Brooklyn to you?” His voice smug. The Manhattan skyline glowing behind him. “Doll, I will do anything for you. Including, recreating our first "offical" date.”

“But Steve…everything it’s so real…the sounds, the smells, the grass…” You look down seeing the picnic basket. “Steve…you planned this.” Your eyes full of tears.

“Y/N…What better place to start our future than where we first began it?” Steve, looking around. “I’m sorry I can’t bring you to the real place, but…”

“Steve…no, this is perfect…private…ours.” You say reaching up kissing him softly.

“Good…I need this to be perfect.” He says dropping to his knee in front of you, your eyes going wide.

“Steve…” He pulls a small red heart-shaped box. You don’t know what to do. You start to bend down, but Steve stops you. “No…baby, stay there…” he chuckles shaking his head. “I’m trying to keep it together here… just let me do this.”

You nod, fresh tears falling. It feels like all that you have been doing, is crying lately. You hope that soon that will change.

“If I know what love is, it is because of you. You are the finest, loveliest, tenderest, and most beautiful person I have ever known. I love how you get a little crinkle above your nose, when giggle. I love how, after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night, and the first person I want to see in the morning. When I get back from a mission, you are the only thing that makes me feel like I am home again."

"I have found in my long life that it’s very difficult to find anyone crazy enough to love an old man like me, but you do." You chuckle, unable to stop yoursef, "Well you are a well kept senior citizen." Steve cant help smiling. "I came here today…” He pauses looking around him, seeing the night skyline, lit behind him. “Tonight...” he smirks. “because I have found the one whom my soul loves, the one to share in the new adventure of the life that we are going to be facing. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I want the rest of my life to start right now.” He opens the box your eyes going wide.

“Steve…I…” He reaches out for your hand, slipping the ring on. “It was my mother’s; I can’t think of anyone who should have it more.”

“Steve…” You are speechless, tears pouring from your eyes. “I love you…” Your arms flying around him.

He chuckles as you knock the both of you to the ground. “I love you too, baby.” He says, rolling you over onto your back, kissing you deeply. “I...assume...that it is a yes then.”

“Steve…really?” You question him sarcastically. He chuckles.

“Just checking.”

“Come here and kiss me.” Steve leans into you, kissing you again. His hand sliding down your side, sliding under your shirt. His other hand caressing the side of your face. Your hands moving to remove his shirt pushing it up over his head, causing him to break the kiss, he removes it and yours in return. Tossing the clothing aside, he takes a moment to admire you.

“I’ll never get used to seeing you like this.” He says softly, his hand caressing your newly exposed skin. You close your eyes, cherishing the feeling. His hand moving slowly down your side, reaching behind you, removing your bra. You feel the fabric sliding down you arms, opening your eyes looking into his. You are drawn into the sparkling blue. The way his eyes are looking into yours, pouring his love into you. “You are so beautiful…and all mine.” He finishes leaning in to kiss you again, slowly, lovingly. You wrap one hand around his neck running you hand through his hair, while the other is sliding between the two of you, unbuttoning his pants and slowly pulling down his zipper. The release in pressure making Steve moan into your mouth. You slowly move your hand inside over his boxers, rubbing his erection.

Steve quickly begins removing your pants, sliding them down your body, you kick them off the rest of the way while still caressing his erection, your hand moving inside his boxers, he growls. “God baby…the things you do to me.” He recaptures your lips, his hand moving to remove the boxers, the only clothing you have left between the two of you.

Tossing them aside with the other clothes, he breaks the kiss. His lips moving down your neck, leaving wet kisses that tingle as they cool. His mouth moving down your body over your collar bone to your breast. He takes one nipple in his mouth massaging the other with his hand.

“Steve…” You can’t help moaning. “Please…” you beg for more from him. His mouth alternating between your breast for a moment before moving further down your body. As you feel his lips leaving a trail down, then past your waist to your inner thigh. You lean up to see his face nestled between your legs. You watch him, his eye meeting yours, before you feel his finger entering your folds searching and locating your entrance. He pushes one finger inside and your hips bucking into him, wanting, needing more. “Steve…” You moan loudly.

Moving his tongue, sliding into your folds over your clit, “FUCK…Steve…God baby.” You cry out. His tongue moving around and over your clit more, messaging you into a rising peak of ecstasy. Your hands flying to his head, holding on to him, feeling as if you are flying away with the rise of your release. He enters in a second finger and you break, “Ahhh…. Steve…ohhh…”

“It’s okay baby, I got you.” His words vibrating against your sensitive nub, before he returns to it sucking nibbling and licking.

“Steve…FUCK…I’m going to…I’m about to…” His fingers move faster in and out of you as you tumble into oblivion. A tear falling from your eyes. Steve continues his ministrations helping you through. You bring a hand to him pulling him to you, kissing him deeply, tasting yourself on his lips.

“You are so beautiful, glowing like this after you cum for me,” Steve whispers against your ear. You can feel his erection against your leg, his fingers moving slowly in and out of you. “I can’t wait to see how beautiful you’ll be carrying our son.”

“Hopeful…” You don’t get a chance to finish your words. They are cut off by Steve swiftly entering you, fully. His pace is slow. His thrusts are forceful. You grab onto him wrapping your legs around him, scared his thrusts will push you away. You can feel that friction of the grass sliding on your back.

“I am going to make sure you have a son for me no matter how many times we have to try.” He growls into your ear, pounding into you slowly, dragging you into the rising bliss of another orgasm. His commanding dominance turning you on even more.

“Captain, is that an order?” You snark as best you can. You hear him growl and can’t help feeling pride at how reacts to you.

“You are so…gonna get it.” He growls pulling your legs over his shoulders the new position allowing him more force. His speed remains slow, his trusts getting harder. The slow build of your orgasm driving you to need more. You try to move him into you, pulling on him but he refrains.

“Steve…please…” You beg.

“Baby…” he says softly, the force of his thrusts lessening. “We are making our first child, I want to remember this moment.”

“But…” You want to cry.

“It’s in the air…” his mind needing a minute, his pleasure rising, his brain getting lost. “Fertility drugs…” he groans. “You want a baby…who …am…I…to…deny…you?” His thrust resuming force and now speeding up as he feels your wall fluttering around him.

“Steve…GOD…YES!” You cry out as your second orgasm rips through you, his joining you.

“God baby…. I love you.” His trusts faltering, helping you both through the orgasms.

“I love you too, Steve.” You sigh contently. You lay still, breathing deeply, the tingling of your body, a gentle reminder of the way Steve plays your body. Steve remaining over your body, gazing into your eyes. His lips slowly moving to yours, kissing you softly. You moan into the kiss, still coming down from your high from the orgasms. “So…" you say slowly "…Fertility mist?” You question him.

Steve blushes. “You wanted to get started on a family…Bruce told me…the lab…experimented …before…with fertility drugs.” His voice going soft. Pausing for a moment, “I wanted to give us every chance…”

You smile up at him. “Well then.” You push your hips up slowly feeling him shifting slightly inside you. “Shall we keep trying.” Steve’s mouth immediately going to yours. His erection returning as he moves slowly inside of you.

“You are going to be the most beautiful mother in the world.” He groans as his pace picks up. Your hands moving to his ass guiding him to move faster.

“Baby, give me everything.” You moan into his ear. Moaning, his pace moving slightly faster, his thrusts are slightly more powerful. “Fuck me... until I am full with your baby.” Your words making him slow for a second before his trusting becomes fiercer, faster. His hands moving to your hips, rolling the two of you over. Once on his back, he holds you in place bucking up into you. His eyes going to your tits, bouncing as he pounds into you. Your eyes meeting his, your hands landing on his chest. “Fuck me…” your moan out. “God…Fuck…Steve…make me a mother…” you cry out to him. Your legs moving, giving you leverage to help yourself move even faster, your next orgasm rising fast and hard.

“God…baby…you look so good…riding my cock…” his is panting, his dick twitching inside you, telling you his body is getting close. His hands gripping your hips tighter, a moment of pain filling you, followed by intense pleasure as he starts to bounce you forcefully on him. The sound of skin slapping against skin filling your ears. “Right there…god you feel so fucking good.” He pulls out quickly flipping you onto your stomach before shoving himself back into you. His hand pushing you into the ground. “Fuck you feel so good…” Thrusting into you harder and faster. The feeling sending your mind into a new high. “I…you have no idea…We are going...to have so many…so many....babies” His trusts becoming feral at his own thoughts. You are sobbing in pleasure, your body begging for release.

“Steve…please…”

“Yes…beg for me baby…beg for me to make you a baby…” he growls. Darkness seeping into his voice. “Show me how much you want my baby inside you.” His hands moving to your waist his body shifting, you feel his hand pulling your hips into his. His body slamming into yours, hitting that spot inside you with every thrust. You orgasm hitting you suddenly, forcefully, your vision turning black, your body going limp.

“Steve…” you moan as your body begins to deflate while he continues pounding into your fiercely.

“Oh…no…no…no…Baby I’m not done with you yet.” His thrust into you continuing at a heated pace, one arm wrapping around you, pulling your body flush to his. His legs kicking your legs open wider. He begins thrusting up into you. You can feel him filling your body, but you cannot do much more. “Yeah, that’s it, baby… take me deep.” His trusts are becoming almost painful, hitting you deep inside. He voice is almost growling now, and you are slowly losing consciousness. You are about to pass out when Steve gives one last deep thrust inside you, both collapsing to your side.

“Baby…” Steve’s voice is whispering against your ear. “Hey, are you okay?” His voice low and steady. You can feel his heart beat slow and steady against your back.

“Steve…what…what was that?” You ask your body sore but content. You mind wondering where the sweet man you loved went for those few moments.

“Baby…I want to be sure I give you what you want that’s all.” He whispers from behind you, rolling you onto your back so you can see his face, his eyes. The loving Steve you know is looking back at you, but there is something more there, some look of a duty. “Steve…I do want a baby…” You are cut off by Steve’s lips on yours, his body moving over yours, the warmth of him making you moan in appreciation.

Within seconds you feel him pressing against your entrance. “I would normally give you time to recover, but…I need this… I need you…” Steve whispers in your ear, plunging deeply into you again. His pace needy, fast, and steady. He pins your hands over your head, His hand holding them in place. “I need to know that I have something, I did something.”

“Steve…baby…” you try reassuring him, his voice broken and his eyes dark, the look he has when on a mission, not when making love.

“Baby…we need to do this.” His thrust getting deeper. His free hand hefting your leg up hooking it in his arm. “WE need to fix…I need to fix…” He words turning to grunts as he continues thrusting into you, his pace rhythmic, not as hard as before, but steady.

“Steve…please…” tears are falling down your face, not for you, but for him. “Baby…” you try to say but his lips capture yours as his hand moves between the two of you pulling your leg higher. His hand rubbing your clit, and you cry out in a new height of pleasure.

“That’s it, baby…" his lips moving to your neck. “Let me fuck you…let me make you mine forever…”

“Christ…Steve…" his trusts shifting as his other hand moves, pushing both your legs high in the air. He pulls back using them as leverage. The new position allowing his to watch himself entering you.

“God, your tight pussy is taking me so good…all wet and needy…I can do this all day…” he moans his eye slowly meeting yours. “I...think...I...will.” He growls out. Thrusting in extra hard to accentuate his words one at a time. Your eye going wide for a second.

“Steve…I can’t.”

“Baby…you can, and you will…” He starts hammering into you, his hand reaching around, rubbing your clit, bringing back the high of the impending orgasm.

“Steve…GOD…” You cry out feeling your peak rushing toward you.

“NO…Call me Captain…Like before.” His tone starting out loud and commanding, but quickly calming to a soft request. You nod, wanting to give him what he needs.

“Captain…Please…I need to…” Before you can finish, he begins thrusting into you manically, his grip on your thighs tightening. His trusts getting rougher and more erratic. The change in movements bringing you to another peak. Your hands grabbing into the fake grass as your body explodes. A scream of pleasure ripping through you.

“FUCK…SON—Of a…” He cries out, his own release spilling inside you. He continues moving in and out for another few moments riding out your orgasms. “God baby, you are so perfect.”

“Steve…” You moan softly at the feeling of him still moving inside you, the sensations heightened by your own body’s sensitivities. “Steve, I need a drink…” You moan hoping that it will win you a chance to discover what is driving him into this new behavior.

“Of course… I figured you’d need a break, get hungry or thirsty. That’s why I packed a lunch." He motions to the picnic basket next to the two of you. You crawl over to it, opening it, taking out a sandwich. You hear Steve growling behind you. “Baby, you shouldn’t wiggle the ass of yours in my face like that.”

You quickly turn to face him, he climbs over to you, his body hovering behind you before he reaches into the basket pulling out two bottles of water handing one to you. “Steve…” You begin testing his mood. “Are you okay? You seem upset?”

Looking at you for a moment, fear evident his face before he masks it with the Steve you know. “I am fine… I just want to move on, move forward. Isn’t that what you want? To rebuild?”

“We don’t’ have to do it by ourselves.” You rest your hand on his chest, letting out a small chuckle. “We have a team to help us, the world, it will do its part.”

“But it’s my fault it is destroyed, I didn’t stop him.” And there it is, the heart of it.

“Steve, we all failed, not just you.” Your voice low. A tear trailing on your cheek. “But we can fix it. You are right…we just can’t do it alone. And we can’t do it overnight.”

“I know…” His voice broken. “I…GOD…Y/N…he just disintegrated before my eyes.” He crumbles before you. “Bu…” Breaking into sobs, you hold him to you.

“I know…we lost him…we lost a lot…” Holding him, letting him cry into you. Then it comes to you, Steve needing a boy, his insistence on making sure you become pregnant. Your heart sinks. “Steve… do you want to name our baby James?” He pulls back enough to look into your eyes.

“I do…” His eyes pleading with yours. “I was going to wait…until…”

“Of course…” You say to him. Tears filling your own eyes. “If it wasn’t for Bucky, I would never have you…” You kiss Steve softly, before pulling away. “Is that what you wanted?”

“Well, that…and…” Steve’s lips capturing you again, pushing you to the grass. “I want to show my beautiful fiancé how much she means to me.”

“I think she knows…” You respond reclaiming his lips. The two of you spend the rest of the day making love, exploring your feelings about the new world, a world you will face together.


	6. The Return

You pace back and forth in the bedroom, glancing to the bathroom door, checking your watch, then pacing some more. “It isn’t going to go faster through pacing,” Steve says softly from your bed. 

“I know…” you are a mix of nervous and anxious energy. “I just…” You sigh, walking over to Steve, crawling onto his lap. Wrapping yourself around him, burying your face into his chest. Breathing in deeply, his smell filling you, grounding you in the knowledge that he is there, with you, no matter what. 

“Steve…I need this!”

“I know, baby…I know.” He pulls you to him, holding you tight. “I want this too…but even if…We can always keep trying.” He teases, kissing up your neck, nibbling on your ear.

“Steve…” You close your eyes, letting his nibbles and kisses run through you, relaxing you, before you push him away. “I need to check the test.” You move away from him standing, he gets up following behind you. He stops in the doorway as you make your way to the vanity.

“Did you…” He begins but remains quiet. Seeing you reaching for the test. You take a deep breath, eye closing dropping your head and opening them.

“Steve…” your voice wracked with emotions. Steve is on you in an instant, his eyes focused on the stick in your hand. His hands wrapping around your waist.

“Is that…?” Steve’s voice stuck in his throat, spinning you around. “Does that?” You can only nod, tears welling in your eyes.

“Steven…you’re going to be a daddy!”

A tear falls from his eye, grabbing you, spinning you around. “I’m GOING TO BE A DADDY!” he calls out to no one, kissing you fiercely. He quickly puts you down, stepping back looking at you. “Oh… did I hurt you…the baby?” You can’t help but laugh.

“No…Steve… believe it or not, I am not made of glass.” You chuckle as his face remains concerned.

“So…” He moves to you, kissing you sweetly. “Should we go and make the announcement?”

“Which one?” you joke. You hadn’t told anyone about your engagement, and now you had even more news.

“Both…I’m feeling generous…” Steve says giving you that half-smile of his before pulling you in for another excited, passionate kiss. When he pulls back you smile at him, loving how excited Steve is.

“Well then…” You say moving past him to the door.

You and Steve find everyone in the conference room. Bouncing in, still excited over your news. Nat looking up to you, then to Steve. “What is going on with you too? Share the good news…” Nat’s voice defeated. The rest of the team putting down their paperwork, looking at the two of you. Steve takes your hand in his, drawing attention to your hand. Bruce watching, a smile forming on his face, he has an idea, he is the one who helped Steve with part of it. Thor is the first one to really notice.

“Lady Y/N…are you betrothed?” His voice filling the room as he stands.

Steve’s smile getting bigger, all eyes falling on him. “Yes…Y/N and I are getting married…” everyone begins congratulating you at once, coming to give you hugs, Nat and Wanda admiring the ring. 

“That is so beautiful…” Wanda says holding your hand.

“Where did Rogers get the money for a rock like that?” Nat adds.

“It was his mother’s…” You say with love, smiling up at Steve, his arm pulling you tighter to him. 

“I was just waiting for the perfect person to give it to.” His eyes falling on you. You nod, knowing what he wants to say next. “And who better than the mother of my child.”

“Wait…What?” Nat steps back taking the both of you in. The team staring at the two of you in shock.

“Did you just say that…is Y/N pregnant?” Rhodes speaks up this time.

“Yes…I am, we just found out.” You are beaming now, tears falling from your eyes. You turn to see Wanda in tears as well, and Nat still processing, looking from Steve to you then back again.

You are about to explain further, when a loud rumbling noise sounds from outside the compound. All heads turning to see a ship landing…no not landing, being lowered, but by some girl. The team running out to the landing area to see what is going on.

You stand next to Steve, quickly but gently he moves you behind him. “Y/N…if this goes south get inside and lock it down.” He says to you, quietly. You nod to him.

“I’ve got her…” Wanda says from your other side. You smile at her. “Us girls…gotta stick together right?!?” You smile at her gratefully.

“Tony?” Steve’s voice pulling you back to the ship. You focus on the people walking towards you, you see Tony being helped over by a blue woman? A blonde following behind them.

“Tony...?” Your voice cracking. Steve looking at you as you step out from behind him. You take one step, then another, toward him. Reaching out, he takes his arm off of the blue woman falling into your arms. Tony pulling you tight to him.

“I missed you…” He says in your ear softly. You begin crying, ugly tears. “I thought…I thought you were…” You can’t finish.

“Shhh…I’m here…I’m right here.” He pats your hair to your head. Steve clearing his throat behind you, you pull back.

“Tony…we lost…” you whisper softly, regret filling your mind.

“We did too…” he replies reaching for you, but you step back. Steve pulling you to him, continuing your train of though for you. “We are all that is left.” Steve nods to the group around you.

“Yeah…” Tony’s eyes meeting yours. “I lost the kid…”

“Oh, God…Tony…” Your left hand going to your mouth, fresh tears falling. You want to hold him, help him, comfort him. Knowing what Peter meant to him, but you can sense Steve is uncomfortable. Tony’s eyes going to your hand, then to Steve.

“So...a lot has changed here then?” Tony’s eyes meeting yours.

“Tony…I…” You struggle with the words.

“Yes, Tony, they have…” Steve answering by wrapping his arm around you. “Y/n and I are engaged, and we are expecting.”

Your eyes dropping to the ground, not wanting to see the further hurt on Tony’s face. “Well…that’s great!” he says, turning to head into the compound, Rhodes moving to help him.

You stand back, next to Steve, unsure of what you should say or do. Just watching Tony walk inside, remaining silent. Once he is inside, your eyes dropping back to the ground. “What the hell was that?” Steve’s stern voice pulling you out of your thoughts.

“What do you mean?” You try to pretend you don’t know what he is upset about, but deep down you know. 

“Don’t play stupid with me, Y/N? Tony…you and Tony?”

“Steve…he watched, what is basically his son, disintegrate before his eyes. You more then anyone should know how that must feel! I was just trying to comfort a friend.”

“A friend? Is that what he is?” Steve is holding your arms tightly in his hands, his eyes searching yours.

“Steve…we are going to be married…I am carrying your child! What do you think?”

“I think that you thought Tony was dead… I think that if you knew he was alive, that this situation would be a lot different!”

“And you know what I think? I think that you are unbelievable! Tony just went through hell! WE ALL did…” You are choking back tears. "I think that you need to back the fuck off and let people deal with this shit in their own way.” You push Steve away from you. “I think that you need to think about whether you really want to marry me,especially if you can’t even trust me.” You turn walking into the compound, looking for Wanda, needing a good cry.


	7. Going on the Offensive

“Y/N…Hey, hey, Come here…” Wanda motioning you into her arms. You move in through the doorway into her and Vision’s living space.

“Steve…he…I…he thinks I’m…still attracted to Tony.” You get out between sobs. Wanda pulling you closer.

“Shhh…Steve is under alot of pressure. He knows you love him, I'm sure he’ll realize he's being an ass, and apologize soon.”

“I ...hope so…I love him so much...”

“I know sweetie…it just with Tony back…”

“Tony does change the dynamic of the group. He offers a new possibility for correction.” Vision says from behind Wanda.

“Vis…” Wanda gives him a look of disdain.

“I’ll just go check on the rest of the team.” Quietly excusing himself, leaving the room.

“Do you think Tony knows a way to fix...to bring everyone back?”

“Y/N, I can’t say I know anything, but he might have information on Thanos that we don’t. He was on one of his ships. So it is possible…”

Your mind begins racing, it would mean so much to everyone to have the rest of the team back. For Steve to have Bucky back. “We need to find out.” Your anger at Steve diminishing with the thoughts that they might be able to fix the situation.

“Ok…but first, maybe we should clean you up?” She says to you sweetly. She turns you to the hall mirror, you look at yourself. Your mascara running down your face, your eyes puffy and red, your hair ruffled.

“Yeah…” You smile. “Thank you, Wanda…If you had…if…” You begin sobbing again. 

“Hey…hey…” she comforts you again. “I’m right here…”

“Steve…he lost his best friend, the man he considered his family!” You begin sobbing again. “And I’m pissed cause he’s a little possessive? WHAT the hell is WRONG with me?” you cry out to the room. "What wrong with him? I'm having his baby!"

“Y/N… you are just being emotional…it’s to be expected…you're pregnant.”

“NOT SO SOON!” You begin crying. Wanda can’t help but chuckle at you. 

“Well…You are not having a normal pregnancy…and pregnancies are all different.” She says, soothing you, as you stare into the mirror at yourself. “Do you want to have Bruce check you over?” She says softly, you nod.

“Yeah…maybe that’s a good idea…” You feel yourself calming down. “But I want to talk to Tony first.”

“Ok,” Wanda answers you, leading you to her bathroom so you can freshen up. A short time later the two of you join the rest of the team as they are gathering for a meeting. Nat is already discussing the impact Thanos had on the group. You move quietly, sitting in the back of the room next to Rocket, Wanda joining Vision.

“World governments are in pieces. The parts that are still working are trying to take a census…And it looks like he did...he did exactly what he said he was gonna do. Thanos wiped out.... fifty percent of all living creatures.”

“Where is he now? Where?” Tony asks looking around the room.

“We don't know. He just opened a portal and walked through.” Steve admits, his eyes dropping to the floor. You can see the feeling of defeat and blame covering him, like a heavy invisible blanket. The rest of the room looking to Tony, hopeful. You can see the energy shifting, Steve failed in leading them, they want a new leader. You can feel anger rising. Steve has been the head of the Avengers for years, and now one failure and they turn away, abandoning him, you can feel your heart breaking for Steve.

You can also tell that Tony is getting uncomfortable with everyone looking to him for leadership. You are about to try to deflect the situation, but Tony speaks up first. “What's wrong with him?” Tony says motioning to Thor, who is sitting on a bench off to the side. Your eyes going to him, feeling for him, he has lost so much, and you have yet to talk to him, to tell him how sorry you are. You were too wrapped up in your own issues, in the last few days.

Rocket answering Tony instead, fitting since he was with Thor, recused him from Thanos, as Thanos was decimating his people. “Oh, he's pissed. He thinks he failed. Which of course he did, but you know there's a lot of that's going around, ain't there?”

You immediate look to Steve, his eyes shoot up, looking at you. You can see the hurt there and you get up walking over to him. The need to comfort him stronger than ever. “Honestly, until this exact second, I thought you were a Build-A-Bear.” Tony snarks, you want to punch him. Rocket is part of this team, not someone to be mocked. But you had to admit under different circumstances…the joke is funny. You also remember how Tony uses humor and sarcasm to deflect and defuse, when he was under stress or pressure.

“Maybe I am…” Rocket shooting back. His retort working to get Tony to back off, you can’t help but smile. You smile at Tony, the smile telling him that he’s met his match. Tony’s eyes meeting yours, and for a moment you see the Tony that you fell in love with, all those years ago. Steve is looking at you, looking at Tony. You can feel the jealousy rising in his body.

“We've been hunting Thanos for three weeks now. Deep Space scans, and satellites, and we got nothing. Tony, you fought him…” Steve starts.

Tony breaks your gaze to glare at Steve, a cross between disbelief and anger on his face. “Who told you that?” His expression turning to pure anger. “I didn't fight him. No, he wiped my face with a planet, while the Bleecker Street Magician gave away the stone. That's what happened. There was no fight.”

Steve getting angrier in return. “Did he give you any clues, any coordinates, anything?” You put your hand on Steve, trying to keep him from pushing Tony too far. But it is already too late. Tony standing up stalking up to Steve stepping into his face. Steve instinctually pushing you behind him. Tony seeing the movement, a flash of pain in his eyes as he looks at you, before turning his glaring eyes back onto Steve’s face.

“Pfft! I saw this coming a few years back. I had a vision. I didn't wanna believe it. Thought I was dreaming.” Tony shooting daggers at Steve.

“Tony those were a worse case…” Wanda stepping forward beginning to tell him.

“I know…to make me create your boyfriend there.” Tony gesturing to Vision. “And how did that work out?” disdain dripping from his voice. Tony’s glare falling on you. "Everyone here created more problems, committed more sacrifices, under the banner of love, me included.” Steve’s whole body visibly tensing.

“Tony, I'm gonna need you to focus.” Steve’s voice a growl, he did not like how Tony is talking about you. Tony laughs manically, but softly.

“And I needed you.” His words directed at Steve, but his eyes meeting yours. “I needed my girlfriend to stay. I needed my TEAM to stay. But we don’t always get what we need do, we?” His eyes meeting yours again. Then he deflates slightly. His eyes turning back to Steve. “You know what I need? I believe I remember telling all of you. Alive and otherwise…what we needed was a suit of armor around the world! Remember that? Whether it impacted our precious freedoms or not- that's what we needed!” 

“Tony…” You try to interject between the two men, stepping out from behind Steve. “What happened is in the past. We can’t change it.” Tony looking at you, then turns back to Steve.

“I said, 'we'll lose'. You said, 'We'll do that together too.' And guess what, Cap? We lost. And you weren't there. But that's what we do, right? Our best work after the fact? We're the Avengers...we're the Avengers. Not the Prevengers. Right?” Tony glaring at you. “Because, I know, if I could have 'pre'vented anything these last few years…” His voice turning venomous again. “I would have 'pre'vented one of my best friends from running off with my girl.” His eyes glaring at you.

You can’t take anymore, your mind is racing, your heart is racing, and you are ready to vomit. Suddenly everything begins to turn black. “Y/N…” you hear Steve’s voice in your ear, then you are gone. When you wake, you're in the med bay. Steve is standing beside you, Banner is moving around the room, and Nat is on your other side.

“What…what happened?” your voice is weak. Steve’s hand squeezing yours.

“Baby…you passed out. I...we were worried. How do you feel?”

“I…” You consider yourself for a moment. “I feel tired.” You fall back onto the bed.

“Just rest then” He kisses your forehead and you relax into your bed more. Moving slightly to allow Steve to have room to climb in next to you. “I’ll have Wanda watch over you while we’re gone.”

“Gone? Steve…where are you going?”

“We…” He pulls you to him. “We have a lead on Thanos.” You tense. You can’t lose Steve…You can’t. 

“Steve…” You hear the door open and close; you know the team left. They are giving you time to say goodbye. “Steve, I can’t lose you…”

“You won’t…”

“You don’t know that!” you counter.

“I know that I will have some of the best of the best to help me. I…WE have to do something. I have to right my wrongs.” You can tell he is breaking inside too.

“Steve…the baby.”

“The baby will be fine…”

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it.” You are so tired of crying, finding yourself crying yet again. “Steve…I don’t want to be a single mother.”

“Baby…” he pulls you in, kissing you deeply. You kiss him back, pouring in all the love that you have for him into that single kiss. His hand reaching up around your neck, deepening the kiss. With his other hand, he turns on the sedative in the I.V. drip. After he is done, he pulls back, breaking the kiss, climbing on the bed with you. “Sleep, when you wake up, I’ll be right here.” He whispers against your ear. A single tear falling down his cheek, inside knowing he might not be back, but he still has to go. The others are going to be putting their lives on the line, and he can do no better than them.


	8. Misunderstanding

When you wake up, Steve is there just as he promised. You look to him and see his face, the defeat screaming at you. “What happened baby…” you say.

He smiles, “That’s the first time you’ve called me ‘baby’.”

“Huh…” You look at him confused.

“You always call me Steve or sweetheart, and occasionally ‘love’ but you’ve never called me baby.”

“I have too…” You’re offended.

“Ok…during sex doesn’t count.” He smiles and you snort-laugh.

“It so does…” You try to defend yourself. He laughs kissing you sweetly, moving you closer to him. Outside the door, Tony is leaning against the wall, wanting to see you, to talk to you. Hoping to get a moment alone with you, but Steve is constantly by your side. It used to be him, who was always there, or so his memory told him. Smiling, he thinks back to when the two of your first met.

*********************************************

“Shit…” you run smack dab into him. He looks down coffee covering the front of his shirt and dripping into his pants. Very warm coffee. “I’m so sorry sir…” she trails off, still holding the cup in her hands.

“No, please… if you're going to violate me with hot beverages at least call me Tony.” He sees her eyes going wide. She must have just figured out who it is she is talking to.

“Mr. Stark…” she smiles. God, she has a beautiful smile. 

“OK…really…Tony.” And looking down at his shirt he laughs. “This isn’t the worst thing a woman has thrown on me.”

“Sorry…Tony…” he can tell it is still foreign for her to say. “But...if I don’t get Fury his coffee...”

“I’ll handle Fury…how about you run to my room and get me a clean shirt…oh and leave me your number while you're in there.” He winks at you; you blush before quickly walking away. He is pretty sure he will have to chase you down for the number, you seemed too sweet to just randomly hand out your number to any guy, even a guy who you knew by reputation.

“Stark…you’re late.” He turns to see Coulson heading toward him from the other end of the hallway.

“Well…ya know…when I run into a beautiful young lady.” He smirks gesturing to his shirt. 

“Well, it’s a good thing I stopped off on the way here,” Coulson replies handing Tony a new shirt. Tony quickly changes. Coulson, taking the dirty clothes handing them to the assistant walking beside him. “Take these to the laundry, make sure they get returned to Mr. Starks room.” Turning back to Tony, Coulson continues. “Which agent are you trying to corrupt now?”

Tony looking to Coulson, as if he is offended, but giving up the act when Coulson continues looking at him expectantly. “Actually…I never got her name.”

“Huh…Good for her.”

Tony and Coulson enter the navigation deck moments later, now discussing Phil’s current girlfriend. Upon entering the room, he joins in the discussion of what Loki may have or may not have been doing. A few moments later, Tony hears your giggle.

“Flying monkeys are a movie reference, similar to minions or lackeys.” You tell Thor as you hand Fury his new cup of coffee. Your main mission is to help assimilate the team, in Thor's and Steve’s case, catching them up on modern tech and the like. Tony winks at you and you blush. He finds it adorable, until you move over next to Steve. You lean over whispering something in his ear and he smiles back at you saying something to which you laugh softly, putting a hand on Steve's shoulder. ‘Fucking great…what is with this man. First, he is all my father can talk about and now the girl who caught my attention is also wrapped around his super-charged little finger.’ Tony thinks to himself. His eyes following you as you move around the room before settling in at the table in a vacant chair. Thankfully the chair is far away from Steve. Discussions continue, Tony continues watching you, observing your behaviors. That is until you leave.

******************************************

“Tony…” FRIDAY interrupts his thoughts. “Banner wants to discuss a very interesting experiment with you.”

“Tell him I’m on my way…” Tony calling back. Taking a deep breath before entering the room you are in. He means to talk to you, even if Steve is there or not.

“Tony…” the hint of happiness in your voice making Tony slightly optimistic, and Steve’s possessive nature itch.

“Hey, sugar…” Tony brushes past Steve, pulling you into a huge hug that you reciprocate. Steve clears his throat and you let go of Tony. Tony pulling away shooting a glare at Steve before pulling a nearby chair up to your bed. “So…a baby. This is good right?” Tony asks ignoring the fact that Steve is lying right next to you.

“Yes…I am happy.” You hand tightening on Steve’s, his arm draped over you, you are facing Tony turned partially onto your side. “How about you Tony? How have you been?” You want to ask him if he found someone new, but you are afraid to touch on a sore topic.

“Well…” Tony reaches out, putting his hand on yours. “I’m still alive.”

“Yeah, there is that...” You laugh softly, causing Tony’s heart to flutter, the sound music to his ears. “Nothing else?” Tony knows what you are looking for and decides, to be honest with you.

“No, I guess I was hoping that eventually you," he pauses, creating an intentional emphasis, "…the team would come back and things would be the way they were.”

You feel Steve’s grip on you tighten and you know he is about to tell Tony to leave, so you blurt out anything you can to keep it civil.

“Tony…You made that impossible for us when you created the accords with Ross.” You stare into Tony’s eyes trying to tell him this is a conversation for another time.

“I didn’t make you leave.”

“Well, we could not stay either.” Steve adding from behind you.

“SHE didn’t have to leave…” Tony corrects.

“SHE…” You say addressing yourself. “Is sick of being pulled around like a toy.” You take a deep breath as the heart monitor starts beeping faster. “Tony, I think maybe you should leave. We can have this conversation when I am feeling better.” Tony’s eyes locking with yours the hurt and pain in them is very real. 

“Y/N…sugar….”

“Tony…you heard my FIANCE. I think you should leave.” Steve’s firm voice filling the room. Tony nods looking at you, getting up, then moving in he leans over kissing you chastely before walking about. You grab tight to Steve’s arm holding him in place, keeping him from going after Tony.

“Steve… he needs time.”

“He’s had over two years.”

“He wasn’t able to see us together. To see me. He needs closure.” You remind Steve.

“Well, he better get it, soon, 'cause the next time he does anything like that…” his thoughts trail off as his mind goes red with anger.

“Steve…can we talk about more pleasant things?” You pull his hand to your belly. “Like our future?” 

Steve smiles wide, “I’d rather talk about something else.” His smile getting bigger, "like the present." He leans over you pulling you down the bed kissing you deeply, running his hand down your side over the thin hospital gown.

“Steve…we are not exactly in a private room.” You chuckle into his mouth while he is smiling against yours.

“Well, would you like to go home where we can continue this then?”

“Yes…I really hate hospitals.”

“Good, me too.” You smile back at him as he moves to your side, asking FRIDAY to get someone into the room to remove the I.V. from your arm. You lay there remembering this beautiful strong man in front of you was once a sickly man who spent a third of his life under medical care for a variety of illnesses. 

“Steve?” he looks at you. “Do you think that…the baby. Will he have your health issues…from before.” You are not sure if asking will upset him or not.

“Oh…baby, no.” Steve’s eyes searching yours. “The serum restructured me at the molecular level, essentially it altered my DNA.”

“Oh…” You reply quietly. “Sometimes I wish I could have seen you before…”

“Before…” His eyebrow raised. 

“Before you became super hunk…” you joke with him, and he laughs.

“I am the same man, just different shell.” He says back softly.

“I suppose you are.” You admit. “I kinda like this shell though.”

Steve chuckles. “I’m glad you approve. It could have gone in a very bad direction.” Now you were intrigued. 

“How?”

“Remember me telling you about the Red skull, Johan Schmidt.” You nod. He remains quiet. “He was the first attempt.” Your eye going wide.

“I thought that…”

“No… But I am the only one still alive.” Steve’s voice barely above a whisper.

“Good, I don’t think the world can handle another you.” You bite your tongue after that, remembering Bucky. “Steve…I…”

“No baby, it’s okay, Bucky would say the same thing.”

“So…Y/N…I…” Bruce stops in the door. “I’m sorry I can come back.” He is blushing at the two of you cuddled in the small bed.

“No, Bruce please get this thing out of my arm.” You call to him, stopping him from backing out of the room. Steve pulling away from you giving Bruce room to work. Shortly after, the two of you are back in your living quarters. You plop down on the sofa and pull out your phone. You check your messages and see that you have one from Tony.

Can we talk when Capsicle isn’t hovering?

You look up at Steve who is rummaging through the fridge probably looking to make you something to eat. “Steve…can I get a sub from that sandwich shop that you like so much?” He turns to you a soft smile on his face. 

“Sure… you wanna go out…”

“No, I just...I need some more rest. I was hoping you could run for us…please?”

“Sure doll, anything for you.” Walking over to you, he kisses you softly before grabbing the keys to the bike. “I’ll be back in a bit…Love you.”

“Love you too.” You say back, feeling a pit in your stomach knowing you are being underhanded, but you really want to help Tony move on. You hope that talking to him will help him. You hope that it will help reunite Steve and Tony, make the team whole again. Watching Steve leaving you text Tony back.

You have about 35-40 minutes. Steve went to get us take-out.

You wait for what seems like forever, but it was only a couple minutes. Your phone chimes in your hand.

BE RIGHT THERE!

A few minutes after that, you hear a knock at the door. You open it to see Tony standing there with a huge bouquet of flowers. “Tony…” You shake your head, taking the flowers. 

“You didn’t have too.”

“Nonsense this place can use some life.” He moves inside past you. You shake your head again, smiling. Tony is still his presumptuous self. 

“Tony…” You put down the vase on the table in the dining area before joining him on the sofa. “You need to accept that Steve and I are together now…” You decide directness is the best approach with him.

“What I need…” Tony says moving closer to you. “Is for you to tell me why the hell you got yourself all wrapped up in Grandpa Frisbee?”

“Tony. I love STEVE…” You answer him. Tony scoffs at you.

“He’s just a rebound.” Tony retorts moving closer to you resting in his arm on the back of the sofa behind you.

“No…I…you pushed me away. You were sleeping with anyone who struck a chord with you, while I was left alone and scared. In a way, we were done about a year after we got together.”

“Sugar…” Tony’s face dropping, he knows exactly what you are referring to. “That was…I was drunk, and she reminded me of you…” HE sees the anger and hurt in your eyes and backtracks. “Hey…Hey…” He reaches out lifting your chin so that your eyes meet his. “I was an ass then. I didn’t know what I had.” You melt a bit at his admission. Tony almost never admits when he is wrong. You feel yourself getting pulled into him, the sadness in his eyes, your heart going out to him. You can’t imagine the pain he must be feeling. He has lost everything, his team his girl, his identity. The last 2 years have taken everything from him.

“Tony…I…”

“You left me when I needed you… I need you more, now.” You can see tears welling in his eyes. You reach up a hand to caress his cheek, regret filling you. You have turned this once confident, arrogant even man into a broken shell. It hurt you more than you thought it could.

“Tony…” You say softly. He leans in closer to you, your heart beginning to race. Before you can comprehend what is happening, his lips are on yours, they are soft and warm, just like you remember. His hand moving to the back of your head. You gasp as the realization of what is happening. Tony, however, takes advantage of your reaction to deepening the kiss. Your hands going to his chest in an attempt to push him away.

“Baby…I forgot my wal...” STEVE! You face cringes. You push Tony away hard. Your head spinning to Steve.

“STEVE…I…”

Steve looks between you and Tony, shock and hurt, slowly manifesting on his slack-jawed face. “Wha…” then anger replaces it. “Were you even hungry? Or was it an excuse you be with him?” Steve glaring at you, while pointing a finger at Tony.

“Steve…its…”

“I just can’t…” He turns leaving you there with Tony.

“Well…so…” Tony starts, looking at you. 

“Tony, please just leave…I…I need to be alone.” You can feel the tears beginning to fall. Your eyes dropping to the engagement ring on your finger. “I think I just lost my everything.”

Tony leans in kissing you on your forehead. “Sugar, you know where to find me…” Tony says softly to you, brushing his lips on the corner of your mouth, letting his lips linger before walking out the door, leaving you alone, to contemplate the mess you have just created.


	9. Reminiscing

You sit on the sofa unmoving, unsure of what you can do. Steve saw Tony kissing you, you know it looked bad. You had invited him over after sending Steve to get your food. It looked exactly like Steve is assuming.

You can’t even muster up enough feeling to cry. You are done crying…you are numb. Numb to the pain you should be feeling, numb to the loss. Instead of staring off into the room in indifference, you curl into yourself on the sofa silent, watching the sun setting as the day passes you by.

************************************************

“Hitting it kinda hard aren’t ya?” Rocket asks entering the training room. Walking up to Steve, who is pounding into the suspended heavy bag with more force than usual, making the bag shake fiercely on its chains. Hearing Rocket’s chuckle, Steve hits the bag even harder, the bag visibly swinging this time.

“It’s better this than someone else.” Steve grunts.

“Hmmm…” Rocket nods. Moving slowly into Steve’s peripheral view. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Nothing to talk about…He’s back and she ran right to him.”

“Who…Y/N…Tony?” Rocket says, putting it together. “You think Y/N is going back to Tony? Man, you are losing it! She is engaged to you, she is carrying your child! He’s history…” Rocket says in disgust, making a shooing gesture.

“I saw them! In our quarters…with my own eyes…” Steve’s anger at having to say the words boiling over. He punches the bag hard, freeing it from the chains, sending it, and a rain of sand from inside it, across the room.

“Shit…” Rocket whispers softly.

“I guess I kind of deserve it…” Steve whispers more to himself then Rocket. Breathing heavy, staring down the blown-out bag on the other side of the room. Rocket hands him a bottle of water, silently waiting for Steve to say what he needs to say. “I mean I took her from Tony…”

Rocket’s head popping up. He did not know this, but then again, he didn’t know much beyond what Thor chose to share and the little bits he picked up from conversations.

“When was she with Tony?”

“They became a couple right after the battle of New York, right after the Avengers were created. Shortly after she and I met, actually.” Defeat and shame filling the room.

“That why Tony has a chip on his shoulder the size on an M-ship …”

Steve can't help but chuckle, "No...He's always been an arrogant ass, it was a point of contention for us for some time."

"So, what happened? Why did she drop Mr.Egotastic for you?"

"Honestly, I wish I knew...." Steve goes quiet for a moment, " She probably would have left him regardless, he didn't treat her well, cheating, cold, distant."

"Let me guess, you came in all swagger and suave, with your old fashioned gentleman ways, and swept her up."

"Not exactly...actually..." Steve smiles at the memory. "I knocked her off her feet."

"Wait...wait...you mean figuratively...right?" Rocket says. But seeing Steve's expression he knows Steve means literally. Waving his hands at Steve. "You knock the woman down, and she thought that this was grounds to start a relationship?" Rockets pausing for a second. "I'll never understand you humans."

"Sometimes I dont understand us either."

"Maybe some context will help? What was going on?"

“We were at a party. Tony has just finished remodeling the tower after our war with the chitari, Loki, and...now we know Thanos. We were celebrating." "Thor's brother?" Rocket seems confused. "Thor's brother was working with the psycho freak? "Yes..., but we didn't know it then, or even who Thanos was." Steve's voice full of regret. "It was the day I first began stealing her away.”

***************************************************************

“Sam…Glad you came.” Steve pulling Sam in for a hug.

“Well…I had to say hi to Y/N. She really came through for us on intel, actually, she still is.” Sam smiles, seeing Steve blush. He knew it! “Is she here?”

“Yeah, she’s at the bar actually.” Steve starts walking over to the bar Sam beside him.

“Hey, Sam…” You wrap your arms around him, pulling him in for a huge hug. “Glad you could make it. I need someone who can actually feel the alcohol to make me feel normal.” You joke handing him a drink.

“Cheers to that!” He raises his glass to you, and you tap his glass with yours, while Steve joins them with a tap of his beer. Sam seeing you smiling softly at Steve, his eyes meeting yours in turn. Sam moves off to say hello to Natasha, leaving the two of you to talk.

“Hey, bird boy.” She says to Sam from behind the bar.

“Tony punishing you?” Smiling at Natasha while indicating her position on the other side of the bar.

“Nah…but someone’s gotta. The one he hired is indisposed at the moment, she nods to the far side of the room where Tony is standing with a tall thin brunette, obviously the bartender.

“That man gets more women…” Sam says watching Tony with the brunette. She is laughing at something Tony says. Tony leaning in closer whispering something in her ear, and then the two disappear. Sam turning, seeing you are still talking to Steve. Steve smiling wide, his eye sparkling. Sam knows Steve has an interest in you, but is unsure how you feel. Until now, Sam didn't know either, but now, seeing the two of you together, the way you look at him, like every word he says holds the meaning of the universe, it's obvious. It is the first time he has seen the two of you together, when your lives weren’t in danger. The attraction between the two of you, clearly obvious to him. “When did that happen?” Sam nodding at the two of you, directing his question to Nat.

“Steve and Y/N? As far as I know, nothing has happened…yet?”

“Ohh…well something needs to be done about that!” Sam says shoving off from the bar, heading toward the pair. Natasha is about to stop Sam but changes her mind. Maybe this is for the best for everyone, she tells herself, smiling, watching Sam play matchmaker.

“Soo…Cap…got a proposition for you…if Y/N is game?” Sam cracks a smile, turning to you.

“Whatchya got in mind, Wilson?” you ask. Sam is always competing with Steve, so you are sure it is something along those lines.

“A game of pool?” he replies simply. You raise an eyebrow knowing there is more to it, Sam is a gambling man by nature. “Winner…gets the first dance with you.” His eyes remaining on you, smiling wider. You look at Steve, curious about how he’s going to react. This is the first time you had a chance to see if the solider has any feelings for you, beyond the friendship the two of you have formed.

Steve’s eye darting from Sam to you, staying on you briefly, roaming your body, making your spin tingle, before turning back to Sam. “You’re on, but let’s raise the stakes, they get the first dance AND the last dance.” Sam smiles, he can see where this is going. Your heart is fluttering, Steve’s reaction is telling, but not a certain sign.

“You’re on, old man.” Sam laughs winking at you. “You are in for the night of your life.” He jokes with you. You smile, already knowing what Sam is up to. Steve, however, has no idea. Sam's comment turning Steve's mood from playful to determined.

“You haven’t won yet!” Steve’s glare is almost murderous. Sam’s smile faltering for a second, slapping Steve on the back.

“No...no man…I haven’t.”

You stand to the side watching as the two men play pool, Sam keeping even with Steve. You can tell he isn’t trying to win, missing a shot here and there. Shots you know Sam can make easily. Steve is carefully hovering near you. His arm resting on the back of your stool, you can feel his body heat against your skin, the slight hint of his cologne mixed with leather and something else, surrounding you. You fight the desire to lean into him.

Soon, there is only the cue and 8-ball left on the table. “Ah...man…Sooo…” Sam standing, watching as Steve lines up his shot. “Whatchya going to do with Y/N after the parties over…Steve.” 

Steve pauses taking in a deep breath. “Sam…” Steve's voice full of irritation, going back to the shot. While Steve is focusing on his shot. Sam shifting over to you slightly, leans over whispering close to your ear. “Steve is so into you…don’t break his heart.”

“Sam…” You are about to tell him you are with Tony when Sam shouts out. 

“Damn it!” His voice lacking any conviction. “Well…sorry sweetheart, but your Cap’s girl tonight.” He winks at you. Steve standing tall, smiling.

“Well…Y/N. Do you want to…” His face flushing, his eyes drop, his hand rubbing the back of his neck, stretching the already tight deep blue shirt against his muscled chest. 

You quickly scan the room, seeing Tony has disappeared, remembering he was with the bartender, seeing she is gone as well. Your heart sinks, momentarily. You see the hope in Steve’s eyes, you are reminded that this sweet, sexy, and kind man in front of you cared for you. ‘Why the hell am I torturing myself with Tony’s infidelity.’ You think to yourself. “Lead the way handsome.” You smile wrapping your arm around Steve’s.

The two of you going out on to the floor, Steve wrapping an arm around you, pulling you into him, his hand gripping your waist. His other hand pulling your free one to his chest, holding you flush to him. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to dance with me. If this makes you uncomfortable.” He says to you softly, his eyes searching yours.

“Steve…there is no other place I’d rather be in this moment.” You answer back, resting your head to his chest, letting him guide your steps.

“Me either,” Steve answers back.

“Steve…are…did you?”

“Huh?” his head resting on top of yours. The two of your swaying slowly.

“I was thinking, later…after we mingled a bit…can we… will you take me for a ride, please? I just need to get away from here for a while.” You bury your face deeper into his chest, breathing in deeply.

Steve pulling you in tighter, turning his head, kissing you softly on top of yours. “Of course, I’d love to.”

“Thank you…” Your voice muffled against his chest. You feel him sigh. For the next hour or so, the two of you are inseparable. You mingle among Tony’s quests; Tony continues to be unseen. Then Steve pulls you onto the floor for one last dance. This time you wrap your arms around his neck laying you head against his chest. One of his arms wrapping around your waist, the other coming up higher, resting between your shoulder blades.

“Is…is this ok?” Steve's voice betraying his nervousness. You chuckle softly.

“Steve…It’s perfect. YOU’RE perfect…” You say as an afterthought, without realizing it. You are letting yourself get lost in the safety of his arms. Something you haven’t felt since the New York invasion. Steve stiffening for a second, before relaxing his arms, pulling you closer.

While the two of you dance, Sam sits back watching smugly, leaning against the bar. His eyes going from you and Steve to Natasha and Banner. He can tell they are creating a connection too. Sam deciding now is the time to find his own ‘connection’. Scanning the room he sees Tony reentering the room sans the brunette he left with. Tony seems to be looking for someone. Sam begins walking over to him when Steve lightly rests his hand on Sam’s shoulder getting his attention.

“Hey…Y/N and I are heading out for a bit. She needs some air.” Steve’s eyes going to Tony. Tony nods back at the two men.

“You…old dog you…” Steve’s hand immediately begins rubbing the back of his neck.

“It’s not like that…”

“Go…Go get the girl. I won't judge.” Sam dismisses Steve, turning to talk to Tony. But before he can reach Tony, Thor proposes a toast, ending the evening. After that, the party begins to disperse, and Sam takes this opportunity to leave. Knowing you and Steve are probably going to be gone the remainder of the night, there is no longer a reason to be there.

You are waiting for Steve in the garage, on his bike. *************************

"And that was unofficially, our first date."

"You old dog, you literally stole her right out from under him....that's cold."

Steve looks at his folded hands between his knees. "I know..."

Rocket interrupting Steve, "That's fucking awesome! I don't know the man well, but he seems like a real a-hole!"

"He isn't that bad...once you get to know him..." Steve can't believe he is defending Tony, to a raccoon, his life is certainly insane.

Rocket decides to move onto a different topic, "Must've been weird being unthawed after all those years."

Steve can't help but chuckle at the irony of that question, coming from a talking raccoon. "Yeah, it was a little...unsettling...at first, but Y/N was assigned to help me transition.

************************************  
He was so shocked a girl would ride a motorcycle. You were tasked with showing him around the city, showing him what has changed, and what hadn’t. He was only out of the ice for a few weeks at this point and had finally been released from medical observation. Coulson, who was overseeing his recovery, thought it would be a good idea for Steve to explore the world, with a guide.

“So, Mr. Rogers. I have been told that you want to look around, see what has changed in the last 70 years?”

“Yeah, if there is anything?”

“I think that in its own way, you’ll recognize a few places.” You smile. You’ve done your research. Located a few taverns from his era, a family café, and of course, there is Coney Island. You take Steve’s hand, not even thinking about what the gesture might mean to him, it is just an easy way to lead him to the garage. Steve looking at your hands interlocked, then to you pulling him. He looks up at you and smiles. He really is beginning to like this era.

Walking into the garage, Steve begins looking around for a car, realizing he never got keys from anyone. “Which one?” He asks looking to you. You smile, getting a sparkle in your eyes. You reach into your pocket pulling out the keys. You give them a brief once over, before handing them to Steve. “Follow me, soldier,” Using your soft seductive voice, loving the way Steve is reacting to your fun-loving behavior. You lead him past the rows of cars deep into the back of the parking garage. 

“She’s right there.” You face smug as you point to the 1944 Harley sitting in a parking space marked, ‘STEVE ROGERS/CAPTAIN AMERICA’. Steve is speechless he looks from you to the bike and back again.

“Where…how?”

“When you…” You can’t even say it, you feel so mixed, sad for him to have lost his previous life, but it brought him here. “Howard took everything and stored it. He said he wanted you to have it when you got back?” Steve’s eyes flashing to yours, questioning.

“I got back…he knew?”

“I’m not really sure how, but yeah he knew…or he was hopeful, we never knew which.”

Steve stepping towards the bike as if approaching a frightened animal. “She is beautiful.”

“The paint job…was my idea. I read that blue was your favorite color.” You blush, admitting to him you had read his personal profile seemed a little overstepping, but it is a part of your job, you are on Steve’s care team.

“I love it…thank you.” He says turning to you, his eyes welling with tears.

“So...Cap, you gonna start her up? We still have some sights to see?" Excitement creeping into your voice. You wanted to mount the bike so badly, to ride it around with Steve.

“We’re taking this?” Steve’s admiration turning incredulous. 

“Well yeah. You DO remember how to ride it don’t you?” you joke, moving to grab a helmet and jacket from the locker in the wall behind the bike.”

“Yeah…I do…I just.” "Well then let’s get going Rogers, we’re losing daylight.”

***********************************************

You are brought out of daze by the sound of knocking at your door. You try to ignore it, just wanting to wallow in your own self-loathing. The knock comes again, and you yell at the door. “GO AWAY!”

“Not happening…” Wanda’s voice coming from the other side. Throwing up your hands in frustration, getting up, going to open the door. When you do, Wanda pushes past you with Nebula and Natasha in tow. Arms full of junk food and movies. “We’re here to have a girl’s night, and you need to tell us what is going on.”

“I was told I had to be here. I don’t care what you did or what the other man did.” Nebula clarifies for you, causing you to laugh. Her bluntness and simplistic response amusing you for some reason. Looking at Nebula, seeing a confused look on her face as she tries to figure out why you are laughing, makes you laugh more. “I think she is having a mental break.” Nebula says to Wanda. This makes the rest of the girls laugh. Nebula remains confused for another second before giving up trying to find understanding. She finds an armchair, dropping into it.

“So…seriously though, spill girl. Tony is back for less than a day and he’s already causing issues.” Nat says pouring drinks for everyone, handing you a ginger ale.

“He didn’t…” You start to say before Nat stops you.

“Oh…yes, he did.” Nat smiles around her drink. “You forget sweetie, I was assigned to Tony way before Steve even came out of the ice. “He is a very calculating man. Everything he does has an intention, and an endgame.”

You consider what she is saying. The more you think about it, the more it does make a kind of sense. “SO you think that…”

“I don’t think, I know…Tony is trying to get you back, and he’s going to keep trying until he sees there is no chance.” Natasha continues studying you for a few moments before asking you something that you did not want to think about. “He DOESN’T have a chance, does he?” 

You feel all eyes on you, and you want to climb into yourself.

“Y/N…?” Wanda’s soft voice coming from your side, concern and a hint of questioning filling her voice.

“I…I don’t know…I don’t think so…but…” you break into tears. “I LOVE STEVE!” you sob profusely, feeling Wanda pulling you in for a hug.

“We know…” Wanda rubs your back. “And I am sure he knows too. He’s just…”

“He’s frustrated.” Nat adds for Wanda. “The situation with Tony poking into it, Bucky and Sam not being here anymore…It’s hard for Steve to navigate. He’s scared to lose you…and with Tony back now…”

“Tony is a threat to your relationship. Steve is just…he doesn’t know how to deal with a threat like that, he can’t beat the shit out of Tony, so he doesn't know what to do.” Wanda finishes. You can’t help but chuckle.

“Well, you’re not wrong…” you smile, pulling away from Wanda. “Do you really think I can fix this…this mess…with Steve?”

“The real question is, what do you want to?” Nat asks you. “I know Tony wants you back…he obviously still cares.” She takes another drink, as you consider her words. “But in my experience, relationship issues exist because of one person’s…” She paused to consider her own thoughts. “personality. They usually don’t go away even if you try working on the problem.” She looks to Nebula for confirmation. “And I don’t see him changing, not really.”

Nebula studies the group before responding. “He talked of Y/N continuously. He was afraid he’d never see her again.” Nebula pauses for a moment. “But he did admit, he had kept tabs on you and Steve.” Her eyes meeting yours. “And he said you appeared happier with Steve then you ever were with him. Tony wanted what the two of you have.” She nods to you before reexamining the videos in her hand.

After a few moments silence, Wanda can see you just want to avoid the topic of Tony and Steve all together, looking at Nat who seems to be running out of steam. “Well, we came here for a girl’s night…I say no more guys and that includes talking about them.” She smiles at you and you smile back, grateful for the reprieve from the barrage of question and the topic. “So let’s get this party started.” She calls out taking a big gulp of her drink.

“I second that!” you answer back, eyeing the snacks, your stomach crumbling, reminding you that you need food.

While you are having girl’s night, Steve is drinking with Thor and Rocket.

***************************************************************

“So Y/N was with Tony…” I cannot see that.” Rocket says shaking his head. The guy is kind of a douche bag…what the hell did she even see in him?”

Steve shakes his head, not wanting to think about it. He just wants to forget about the time he had to watch you with him. Watching the way you allowed him to parade you around like a trophy. Not wanting to remember how people would compliment the two of you on being the ‘it’ couple. He hated remembering having to watch the two of you, acting the loving couple for years while he knew better.

“She was seduced by his charm, as I imagine, all women are,” Thor states simply. 

“DUDE!!!” Rocket says glaring at Thor.

Thor immediately realizing his misstep, quickly adding. “But such petty nuisances fade. The real sign of a strong bond goes beyond such superficial machinations.” Thor finishes taking a swig of his liquor.

Steve nods knowing Thor is trying to reassure him. Steve knows you care about him. The problem is you still care about Tony. It was all over your face when Tony stepped off of Rocket’s ship.

“Cap... I know I haven’t been around long, and what I say may not mean shit, but I can tell you one thing. Y/N is completely head over heels for you. You can feel it whenever the two of you are together.” Steve can't help smiling at Rocket.

“Thanks…"

“Thor…any progress on setting up the new location?” Steve asks, changing the subject and bringing some good news into the conversation.

“They have established a port and a fishing trade. The village is coming along nicely, but it has a long way to reach the potential of the Asgardian people.” His voice getting lower, recalling the home he lost. Steve kicking himself for reminding Thor of what he lost as well.

“…Steve?” Thor says, breaking the short silence. “When did you know?” Steve turning his gaze to Thor, eyebrow raised in question. “When did you realize she is the one?”

Steve can’t help the smile the forms on his face. “Oh…when I saw her turn down Tony for the first time.”

**************************************** 

“You never left your number in my room…” Steve hears Tony saying to you after the first debriefing ended. “Bummer. I was hoping you were more spontaneous. But I see you’re more of a plan things out kind of girl. It’s okay, I can get on board with that. So I’ll send a car, Thursday, say 8?” Tony’s voice is deep. Steve can tell he is trying to be seductive, and his heart sinks. Tony has a reputation, and he did not want to see you become his latest conquest.

“Thursday’s out. How about never? Is never good for you?” You smile back sweetly. Steve can’t help the snicker coming from him as he slowly passes the two of you, heading to his own quarters.

Tony is unsure of what to say, watching helplessly as you turn down the hall after Steve. “Steve! Wait up!” calling after him.

Steve turning to see you running up to him. “I thought…” Steve begins, but you interrupt him.

“Has Stark always been such an enormous ass or does the altitude bring it out of him?” you ask Steve, loudly, a brilliant smile on your face. Steve wants to say something suave and even coy, but what comes out is a nightmare.

“Not sure, I just met him.”

“Oh…” you say, your smile slowly disappearing. “So, if we survive this? You wanna go grab a drink at Teddy’s?”

“Sure…that would be great.” Steve smiles at you, his heart racing.

“Great. Then it’s a date!” you say before turning to leave him standing there. Steve watches you leave, your hips swaying, seeing Tony watching him.

Tony’s eyes meeting Steve’s, smiling then nodding before leaving to head down to the labs to see Bruce, the smile not reaching his eyes, Eyes that tell Steve, Tony believes you are his and to back off. Steve turning away in the opposite direction, returning to his assigned room to go over the new developments in the mission.

“And you doubt she loves you?” Rocket asks. “She turned down Mr. Monopoly and asked you out and you doubt how she feels?”

“That was before…before they became a couple.” Steve’s face dropping.

“Has she ever turned you down?” Rocket asks in earnest.

“…no…. I…no, she hasn’t.” A hint of hope creeping into his eyes.

“EXACTLY…You humans. You make everything way more complicated then it needs to be.”


	10. **The Revelation**

You wake the next morning feeling a warm body curled in behind you. You lay still for a moment, you hear him moan softly, waking up. The familiar sound making you both happy and nervous. Clearing your throat you find your voice.

“Good morning.” You whisper to him.

“Good morning, baby, about last night.”

“No, you were right to be upset. I should never have let him manipulate me into talking to him behind your back.”

“It’s Tony…he does this kind of stuff. It’s how he made his millions.” Steve jokes. “But if you really want to make it up to me…” Steve begins kissing down the side of your neck, moving the strap of you cami out of the way as he makes his way onto your shoulder.

“Ohh...I see where this is going, but I have to stop you there handsome. The girls are coming to take me shopping for the baby and the wedding.

“Already?” Steve says surprised pulling back his eyes meeting yours. “You’re barely three weeks.”

“I know, but well the girls, they are anxious to get things rolling, and they think… and I know.” You begin shyly. “That you’d want to make an honest woman of me before I start showing.” Looking at him hopefully, waiting for him to say anything.

“I do…but… how quickly are we talking here?” Steve asks trying to hide his smile.

“Ummm… next month. I was thinking maybe on Bucky’s birthday. That way he can’t forget it....when we find a way to get him back.” You joke remembering how Steve joked about his horrible memory.

“That sounds perfect…” Steve answers you, leaning in kissing you softly, then pulling back, searching your eyes, returning to kissing you with a bit more passion. Feeling yourself getting lost in Steve, interrupted when you hear a knock on the door.

“Steve…I need to get dressed.” You chuckle when starts peppering kisses down your neck. He groans, falling back on the bed. Getting up to answer the door still in just your underwear and cami sans bra. You have no qualms about it, thinking its Natasha coming to get you, until you open the door.

“I’m not ready…” The words lost on your lips, seeing Tony standing in the doorway. You instantly move holding the door open only a crack.

“So I have juice, eggs, bacon, pancakes, and fruit. Everything a growing baby needs.” Tony says looking at the tray, listing its contents off as if taking inventory. “Or we could just skip to dessert.” He says teasingly, looking up at you smiling. He abruptly steps forward, pushing into the room.

“Tony…” You follow him, trying to get him to leave. Praying you can get him to go before Steve hears him. “You have to leave before…”

“Too late.” Steve's voice drawing your attention to the door frame.

“Steve…” The look he is giving Tony is making you want to crawl under the table. Steve is trying hard to keep from punching Tony in the face.

“Hey…we’re running late…” you can hear Wanda’s voice through the still-open door. She halts in the doorway. “Tony…? Her eyes turning to take in the room. “Steve?”

“Welcome to the party.” You joke trying to relieve tension.

“Yeah, some party...” Tony snarks. “It’d be better, if the geriatric weren’t ruining the mood.”

“Tony!” Glaring at him. Steve moving behind you, not saying a word, wrapping his arms around you pulling you into him.

“Ok...well, boys you can have you pissing contest. Y/N needs to come with me, we have plans.” Wanda scolds the men, grabbing you hand, pulling you to the door. 

You stop her, pulling your hand back, taking the bowl of fruit Tony brought, then walking over to Steve, kissing him softly on the lips. “Love you, baby, see you in a bit.” You whisper against his lips. Steve pulling you in, kissing you possessivly, your knees tremble momentarily. He breaks the kiss, giving you an additional chaste kiss. You smile up at him, letting out a giggle as Wanda pulls you away.

“Well…that was bracing.” You moan out, walking with Wanda, nibbling at your fruit.

“I’m just glad no one died…” Wanda laughs.

“Wellm let’s go have some girl time.” You are anxious to just get away from everyone. “Hopefully, when I get back the testosterone will die out.”

‐------------------‐---------------------------

“Tony…you need to back off.” Steve’s glare and tone making Tony reinforce his stance.

“Really…and why?" Tony smirks. "Oh, wait…I know this one! Is it because she is taken? Sure as fuck didn’t stop you now, did it?” Tony shoots back at Steve, grabbing a piece of bacon off the plate. Taking a bite for emphasis.

Steve’s eyes glare into Tony’s. “SHE CAME TO ME!” Steve’s even tone commanding without effort. “You fucked up with your inability to keep her!” he continues as his confidence rises. “I WILL not make the same mistakes you did!”

“Rogers…language!” Tony sasses, mocking him, unsure of what else to say. Knowing Rogers is telling him the truth. “Y/N…she will see through your façade and see you for who you really are, and I’LL be there this time. ME…not you.” Steve can’t take Tony's smugness anymore, punching him. Tony falls back, quickly recovering activating his suit. The suits activation alerting FRIDAY. Tony throws a quick punch hitting Steve in the right jaw. Steve’s head spinning slightly before recovering. With the suit on Steve knows pounding on Tony is not going to get him far.

“Tony just leave my fiancé alone, she has made it clear she doesn’t want you in her life, just honor her wishes." Steve sizing Tony up, deciding to add. "Show her some respect for once.”

“Are you sure about that, she didn’t protest too much last night…” Tony smirks at Steve.

“What happened yesterday, will not happen again.” Steve bites back, turning to walk away.

“You can’t be everywhere Cap. She will come to me again. I promise you.” Steve shaking his head, not wanting to bait him. Tony knows you are engaged to him, you wouldn’t make that kind of commitment without loving him, would you? Then he thinks, you did cheat on Tony with him. Fighting back the need to say something, instead choosing to leave. He has things he needs to take care of if the wedding is coming as fast as he believes. After several frustrating hours of internet searches and arguing with himself, he gives in. Going to the labs, Steve decides to find Bruce. Bruce is surprised to see Steve walk in, looking determined. "Hi Steve. What brings you here?" “Hey, Bruce. So what do you know about weddings?”

“I know that you get married at them?” Bruce replies, curiosity peaked. “But I am sure there is more to it than that.”

“Y/N wants to get married…next month.” Steve’s expression going from pensive to beaming. 

“Congratulations…” Bruce replies, a smile spreading across his face. “It’s good to have something positive to look forward to.” 

“Yeah, …she has given me a lot, hasn’t she.”

“Look, Steve, I know Tony has been pushing her, trying to get her back, but we both know she is devoted to you. A blind man could see it, in the way she looks at you.”

“I must be blind then…I worry…” Steve begins, his voice dropping.

Bruce puts down his tablet moving over to where Steve sits on a stool at another lab table. “Tony?” Bruce asks, already knowing the answer. "He is persistent.” Bruce finishes.

“He insists that he can win her back.” The worry in his voice is evident. “I…I am starting to think he’s right…” Steve looks up to Bruce. Bruce can see the pain there, in his eyes, the heartache. It is the first time Bruce has actually wanted to punch Tony in his smug arrogant face.

“Steve…she’s not going anywhere.” Bruce reassuring Steve, moving closer to Steve resting a hand on his shoulder. “She only sees you. She is carrying your child. She said yes to YOU, when you asked her to marry you.”

Steve looks up at Bruce, catching the emphasis, a question in his eyes. Bruce seeing the confusion in his face. “She never told you?” Bruce looks away for a moment thinking. “OF course not why would she?”

“Tell me what?” Steve begins to feel nervous. 

“About three weeks before…” Bruce looks down. “I wasn’t there but Rhodey was.” Bruce thinks for another moment. “Here…we still have footage I believe…. If Tony hasn’t erased it.”

Bruce turning to the screen behind him. “I don’t think he would, it was the last time they were together...well...before…” Bruce pausing, clearing his throat. “Before, she left with you.” Steve’s eyebrows quirk, his curiosity peaked. His eyes turning to the screen as Bruce pulls up the video.

“Give it a minute, it will get to where you want it to be,” Bruce says, leaving the screen playing, Steve seeing you and Tony in bed together. “I’ll be over there…” He finishes point to the adjoining lab.

“Tony…stop tickling me and get up here.” You joke with him.

“But the teasing and the tongue. Those are your favorite parts.” Tony jokes with you, his head popping out from under the sheets.

“Tony…” you shriek. He disappears again. You can feel his mouth working its way back to your core. He delves in deep, causing you to squirm. His tongue working your clit and your entrance in tandem, driving you over the edge.

“Fuck!!” you cry out as you cum over his face.

Tony appears above you a few seconds later, kissing you up and down your body. After a few moments, he grabs you quickly flipping you over onto you stomach pulling your hips up as he lines himself behind you. Then without warning, he pushes inside stretching you slightly as he begins to pounding into you with aggression and need. 

You grab onto the sheets moaning, as his thrusts push you to the edge. He is always like this. Sex with him is quick, but satisfying. He takes what he needs but always ensures you are pleased first, quick and efficient. Completely opposite of Steve, who is slow and doting, making sure you feel beautiful and loved when together, worshipping you.

You soon feel your second release approaching. You grab tightly to the bedsheets Tony wrapping his hands around your hips, you push against him, needing him to move faster, to bring you over the approaching edge. His knows the motions and knows what you are asking, and obliges, his own release pending. Soon you are falling off the edge.

“Oh god…Yes…” You cry out as Tony’s speed and force increase.

“I’m so close…” Tony grunts, you feel your walls closing around him with your release.

“God…YEsss…” you cry out. He spills into you a few seconds after your release, stilling inside you, glad you found your second release. Getting up, he heads to the shower, leaving you alone on the bed.

*****This is where the video Steve is watching begins.*****

“Tony…when are you going to be back?”

“A week…two at the most.” Calling from the shower. What Steve knows is that he is gone until the Sokovia accords are drafted and signed by him. The trip he is going to end in a meeting that starts the accords.

“Why don’t I believe you?” You call back to Tony. “You’ll be gone for longer, you always are…” The tone in your voice sounding slightly disappointed, but there is something more, a small hint of hopefulness.

“Because, you are a pessimist, and I can’t blame you,” Tony replies emerging from his brief shower, wearing with nothing but a towel. He walks to the dresser slowly, pulling out a small box, before walking over to you. 

“You don’t see what you mean to me, and you minimize the effect you’ve had on me.” He finishes. Getting down on one knee in front of where you sit on the bed. “I need a partner, not only in the bedroom, or in the boardroom, but in life. I need someone to keep my enormous ego in check and keep me on the right path. Y/N, I need you." Tony opens the small box, an all too large diamond engagement ring lying inside. "Will you marry me?”

“Tony…” your mind immediately going to Steve. “I…I can’t.” tears filling your eyes.

“Why?” he asks.

“I…” You cant say anything...shaking your head, knowing you have to tell him about Steve, but you want to let Steve know that Tony is going to find out first. Before you can say anything, F.R.I.D.A.Y. interrupts.

“Boss, sorry to interrupt, but Secretary of State Ross is here and wishes to speak with you.”

“IT CAN WAIT?!?” Tony’s eyes flaring with anger and frustration. You cringe a bit.

“No, Boss, he is very adamant. He needs to talk to you, now.”

Tony glaring at you. “Tell him I will be right there.” 

“Very well sir.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. finishes.

“We are not done having this conversation,” Tony says to you before heading off to his closet to change and meet with Ross.

********************************************* 

Steve closes the video, his mind racing. Now he understands what Tony was so upset over. Tony proposed to you just before Steve took you away. The Tony he saw in the video is a man changing. A man who is about to put someone before himself for once. Tony wanted the life that Steve now has. Tony wanted a life with you, and you threw it back in his face. You refused Tony for him. Steve can feel his heart swelling with pride and love. This is what he needed to see; this is what he needed to know. You turned Tony down once, you will do it again.


	11. Planning

“Am I doomed to be alone?” You begin to crying over lunch. Wanda reaching out, rubbing your back. “I swear…I am purposely making my life a living hell.” Now crying harder, trying to hide it with a drink of your juice spritzer.

“Sweetie…no…” Wanda pulls you in for a hug. “Steve loves you…he’s not going to let anyone, especially Tony, ruin that.” She pulls back, looking at you.

“I think I already did that.” You say quietly and Wanda pauses.

After a few moments, she lowers her head closer and whispers to you. “Y/N...you didn’t….”

Before she can finish asking, you blurt out. “I kissed Tony, and Steve saw us!”

“You what?” Natasha calls out, returning from the bathroom, just in time to hear what you said.

“It just happened.” trying to defend yourself, even though you know there is no defense for it. “He wanted to talk to me and I knew Steve didn’t want him to be around me, so I waited for Steve to leave, and I invited him over to talk.” Feeling even more guilt filling you, like trying to explain why you did what you did, is equivalent to begging forgiveness, continuing anyway. “Then he kissed me. Steve walked in just as it happened.”

“Oh…Y/N…” Natasha says shaking her head.

“Was this before or after the engagement?” Wanda asks, but you can see on her face she knows the answer.

“After…” Your eyes dropping to the table, not wanting to see the looks on their faces.

“What did he say?” Natasha asking you.

“He is understandably pissed.” Your answer. "He left, for the rest of the day.".

“But…” Nat pushing you to continue. “That night we had our girls time, and well when I woke up, this morning, he was there in bed with me.”

“There! See…he wouldn’t have been there if he didn’t forgive you.” Wanda says trying to reassure you.

“I know, and he did. I mean he REALLY did, " you smile, remembering the pouty look he had on his face when you told him he'd have to wait. "but I don’t know if he should…” You start to tear up again. “He deserves better than me. He deserves someone who won’t cheat on him…”

“Ahhh…sweetie…you didn’t cheat, you were caught off guard…right?” Nat asking you. You have to give this some serious thought. You wonder if some part of you did want this? Are you still in love with Tony? Were you ever? “I didn’t mean for Tony to kiss me…but I didn’t stop him either.” You respond softly.

“How do you feel about him? Tony?” Natasha asks.

“I don’t know…” shaking your head, frustrated at your own indecision. “I do know that I love Steve. We’re engaged and I am carrying his child.”

“Then focus on that,” Wanda says to you. “You must really love him if you said yes to him especially…” Your eyes darting to her.

“What?”

“Y/N. We know Tony proposed. Bruce saw the footage.” Your face going pale.

“When?” you ask, unsure if this is a good thing, or if it made you look worse in the eyes of your friends.

“Shortly after we got back. Bruce was going through the footage to figure out what research Tony was working on before he left, looking for anything useful to help defeat Thanos. Apparently F.R.I.D.A.Y. felt there was ‘useful information’ in the footage.” Natasha’s voice lowering, talking about this bringing back her own painful memories. She is still trying to find Clint.

“Does Steve know?” you feel a panic coming on. ‘If Steve knew how serious Tony was about you, would he feel hurt? Would he change his mind about you, to keep the peace with Tony?’ “Nat, does Steve know?”

“As far as I know, the only ones who know are the three of us and Bruce.”

“See…Y/N. Everything is going to be okay. I know Steve, he would never leave you, especially when you are carrying his child.” You nod fresh tears falling, this time tears of relief.

“Thanks…I needed this.” You smile taking another drink of your juice before digging into your burger. “So...I need to find a dress. One that will hide the ever-approaching baby bump.” You joke chewing on your burger too hungry to care about manners.

“Actually, not that we have the baby schemes picked out. I have some ideas about that.” Nat answers, pulling out her phone, pulling up a few pictures.

“She wants to look elegant, not seductive…it’s a wedding.” Wanda says pulling out her own phone. A few seconds later they both push their phones at you. You smile, knowing they must have been thinking about this since you and Steve made your announcement. You consider both women and then pick up Natasha's phone first, Curious as to what Nat has found that Wanda would consider to be too racey for a wedding. The first dress is way too revealing, and you immediately know it is more something that she would want for her wedding, not what you would want for yours. The neckline is too low and the left side slit is way too high. Steve would have a heart attack before you even made it to the alter. The other dress with its off the shoulder sleeves and not so high left leg slit is still pretty racy, but at least, you think, your future husband would survive till the reception.

“Soo?” Natasha is almost jumping out of her seat with excitement.

You point at the second dress, “That isn’t too bad, but I need Steve to make it through the ceremony and reception. I don’t think he will if he is seeing me in that.” You chuckle. Wanda is laughing, looking at the pictures when you slide the phone over to her.

“I agree…” Wanda adds. “Steve has a hard enough time keeping his hands off of her as it is, that dress spells disaster. Maybe she should try one of mine.”

Nat slumps back in her chair. “Isn’t that the point of the dress? To drive the husband wild? It would make for a great wedding night?” Natasha shirking her eyebrow at you.

“Oh, Steve doesn’t need any more encouragement in that department.” You reply smugly, a slight blush filling your cheeks.

“Ohhh…Do tell!” Natasha is suddenly very interested in the conversation again.

“How about I look at what Wanda has for me?” You quickly change the subject; you are not about to tell Natasha about your intimate relations with Steve. You pull over Wanda’s phone, giving it a swipe to wake it up.

Onto the screen pops two dresses, both are very different from Natasha’s style, as well as from each other. “I wanted to give you a couple of different options both are elegant in their own ways, but both should make Steve very happy.” She rushes forward feeling a little insecure about her choices. “I really think you should feel like a princess, this is a fairy tale. It’s your fairy tale, and you should feel like you are part of it.

“Wanda…they’re beautiful. They do look like something out of a fairytale.” You look them both over carefully. Natasha moves to look at them and you hold the phone so that she can see them both as well.

“Steve will have a hell of a time on the honeymoon getting that thing off you.” She snarks. You shoot her a look that tells her to back off. Before turning back to the dresses. “I think the first one almost is perfect."

“Almost?” Wanda asks, sounding disappointed.

“Well...there is something missing…I’m not sure maybe with flowers of something it will be perfect…I don’t know.” You take another bite of your burger.

“Well, there is a shop down the street. We could go look.” Natasha points out to the two of you as you take the last few bites of your sandwich.

“Just let me finish my fries first.” You say grabbing a few of those as well.

“Yeah, don’t want to miss out feeding that a baby of yours now do we?” Natasha’s expression softening. A few moments later, your phone rings. You look overseeing who is calling and your heart speeds up.

“Hello.” You answer unsure how he is going to respond to you after everything that has happened these last couple of days.

“Tony’s gone…for now. He seems pretty adamant that you will go back to him.” You heart jumping into your throat.

“Steve…I…” Trying to find the right words. You feel like everything you say causes problems for the two of you.

“No…baby…it’s ok. I know, Banner told me about the last night you were with Tony, showed me actually.”

“Steve…he doesn’t mean anyth…” you mind pausing, registering what Steve has just told you. You stop mid sentence.

“I know.” Taking in a deep breath he continues. “I didn’t until that moment, until I saw the video, but now I know.”

You try to breathe, ‘he’s about to break it off’ your mind keeps repeating at a record pace. “Steve, I can explain…” You try to convince him. Both Wanda and Nat are now looking at you. Nat mouthing ‘what's going on?’ You wave her off, frustrated with the situation.

“Baby, there is nothing to explain.” His voice choking slightly, and you pause. ‘Is he crying? God, he is going to break up with you!?!’

“Steve…” You feel tears about to fall, they are pooling in your eyes, your vision getting blurry.

“Baby, I never knew how much you loved me until now, I am blown away,” Steve says softly and you explode. A smile spreading across your face.

“You know what I am doing right now?” You can’t help but smile widely.

“Hmm…I’d say having lunch with the ladies talking about wedding plans?”

“Steve, are you?” you start looking around, then you see him. He is standing on the corner, watching the three of you. You immediately get up, running to him. Within seconds you are in his arms, he is spinning you around, kissing you softly. When he puts you down you immediately pull him over to the rest of the group, sitting back down digging into your fries again.

“I hope that you had something healthy for lunch?” Steve cocking his eyebrow at the meal in front of you.

“I have juice…” You reply like a scolded child. Natasha shooting you a look. “But it has soda in it.” You add. Steve smiles at you as you drop your gaze trying to avoid his, playing with the fries on your plate.

“Steve…we are about to go look at dresses…do you want to join us?” Wanda starts.

“WANDA!” You practically shout at her. “NO!” Wanda looks shocked and hurt.

“It’s not a secret, he knows you’re getting married?” Confusion filling her face.

“It’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding, especially in her dress!” you are surprised that she didn’t know this. Didn’t everyone?

“That isn’t true, it is a cultural remnant.” Natasha correcting you. “Back during the time of arranged marriages. The man was not allowed to see the bride, for fear that he would run off before the wedding.” Her eyes turning to Steve. “And I don’t think that Steve is going to be going anywhere.” As if to make her point she hands him her phone. “Here are some of the ideas we have for a wedding dress.

Steve taking the phone shrugging to you, he looks down. His eyes going wide before looking up at Nat then to you. “These are wedding dresses? They are a little revealing, aren’t they?”

You immediately blush. Wanda clears her throat. And Natasha huffs. “Fine…but IF I ever get married, I am going to have the first one.” She points at it and Steve blushes. You can tell he is imagining Natasha in the dress and for some reason, it makes you jealous. Wanda seems to feel the shift in the air, quickly shoving her phone forward. “These were my ideas,” She looks over to Natasha before meeting Steve’s’ eyes. "A little more conventional.” She says softly as Steve looks at them. His face pulling into a huge grin.

“This one,” Steve says with a hint of authority. “That is the one right there.” Moving the phone over to you pointing at the same one you also liked. “It’s almost exactly as I imagined it would be.” All eyes falling on him.

“How long have you been thinking about this?” you ask him.

He rubs the back of his neck nervously, before replying. “Too long,” he says almost in a whisper.

“How long is too long…Steve.” Natasha asking him again. Shooting her a deadly look, before he answers her.

“Since the night you told me you were going to leave Tony for good.” You can’t help but smile. You remember that night well.

****************************************************

Steve pulls up to the Brooklyn Heights Promenade. The two of you are having a picnic before heading south to Coney Island. It is the first real date the two of you have been able to go on since you began your affair two months ago. It is the first time you no longer worried if someone would report to Tony that you were gone, or who you were spending time with. Happy was off scoping out a new facility and Tony was off with his latest conquest, under the lie of being on business trip for a new contract for his sustainable energy project.

“So, is this the first stop on the grand Rogers date?” You say joking as you get off his bike walking over the grassy spot near the river walk. Steve following behind, you carrying a large basket and blanket. You pick a spot near the bank and turn to wait for Steve. He walks up to you, putting down the basket, spreading out the blanket. Then placing the basket next to the blanket, offering you a hand.

You take it, smiling at him, the silence comfortable and familiar. You sit before he joins you. “I used to come here with my parents when I was a kid. Bucky usually came with; his mother was usually working. Bucky needed to get away whenever he could.” The time he had with Steve offered him a chance to get away from caring for his siblings. You can see the pain in his eyes, and you quickly decide to change the subject, not wanting to let him drift in that darkness.

“I’m sorry.” You already know about Steve’s parents, how he lost them during the war. Steve had told you about them and his friendship with Bucky shortly after the two of you admitted your feelings for each other. You know it is a mix of good and bad memories, but you wanted him to create new ones with you at this moment. “Steve…Can we talk?”

“Sure…” He shifts closer to you, and you snuggle into him. “What’s on that beautiful mind?”

“Tony…” you begin.

“Well, that is not what I was expecting,” Steve says pulling away slightly.

“No…Steve...hang on, let me finish.” You climb onto his lap straddling his waist. “I am going to leave Tony. I want to be with you, Steve. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” You stare into his eyes. Waiting for Steve to say something. You see his eyes looking into yours, studying you. His eyes dropping to your lips then back to your eyes.

Taking a deep breath in then out he says, ‘Fuck it” Pulling you into him his lips crash into yours. You kiss him back fiercely. This is the first time the two of you kissed openly, publicly, or for that matter anywhere outside the confines of your living quarters. After a moment, he pulls away, looking into your eyes again. “Are you sure? If we do this, if we tell Tony, it might mean the end of the team?”

You'd never thought of this. Would Tony really break up the team over you leaving him? You consider this, realizing he probably wouldn’t, but he might if you left him for another member of the team. “I will find away. I can’t be with him, not knowing how I feel about you.”

“I know baby, but we can’t destroy the team. Someday, maybe when we are stronger, when Tony trusts the others more, when they trust him more. Then we can leave. I can’t risk destroying the team over my own selfish needs.” Steve kisses you again. More lovingly this time.

A few moments later you pull away. “I’m not giving you up.”

“I know…I won’t let you go either. I have already lost too many people I love. I won’t lose another.” He whispers into your ear. “I will die before I lose you.”

The two of you sharing one more passionate kiss before you slowly remove yourself from his lap, sitting next to him. After a moment you reach over the basket and pull out the sandwiches. “So, since that is settled, let’s eat, I’m hungry.”

Steve laughs at your sudden change in mood, taking a sandwich from you. Leaning in, kissing you softly on the cheek. “Ok, but save some room for cotton candy,” he says softly.

“I also need to save my energy for tonight.” You wink at him. He chokes on his bite of sandwich.

“Baby girl…keep that up and we won’t finish all the stops on our date.”

“Maybe, I don’t want to.” You smirk from behind your sandwich.

*****************************************

“Steve that was almost three years ago?” You gasp. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because…you were still with Tony, at first.” He sighs. “Then we were on the run…and I know you’d want your parents there, at least.”

“Steve, I haven’t talked to my parents since we became fugitives!” They don’t even know about us! All they do know is that Tony and I broke up, and I disappeared.”

“I know, but maybe we should remedy that.” He smiles at you. “Invite them to the wedding.

“Steve…” You didn’t want to tell him this. You didn’t want to add the burden, to his already long list. “Baby…I lost them in the snap.”

Steve’s eye locking with yours. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You already had so much on your plate. I didn’t want to add more. Besides I have you now.” You turn to the rest of the table. “All of you, you’re my family.” You turn back to Steve. “And we are going to have our own little one soon.” You smile at him. He leans in, kissing you on the forehead.

“So...where is this dress shop?” You ask Natasha. She smiles back at the two of you, standing from the table pushing her chair underneath it. The rest of you follow her to the little shop a few blocks away.

You smile softly at Steve. He is fidgeting with the pocket of his jeans. “Baby, you okay?” you ask, giving his hand an extra squeeze.

“Yeah, of course, I am.” But his voice is telling you otherwise.

“Steve…what’s wrong? Don’t lie?” You stop him outside the entrance to the bridal boutique.

“I promise, nothing is wrong.” Steve takes a deep breath. “I’m just nervous. Everything is happening so quickly.” You feel your heart drop.

“Steve…are you…are you saying that you don’t want to marry me?”

He spins on you, holding you out from him, looking into your eyes. “Y/N. Look at me!” His voice commanding, firm, demanding obedience. Your eyes meeting his, tears filling them. “I AM going to marry you. I am going to marry you next month; I am going to raise this baby and others with you. I love you.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“I’m…I’m scared.” His voice barely a whisper. In his eyes there is a vulnerability you have never seen before. “I love you and I want you. I can’t see my life without you anymore…and that scares me.”

“Steve…this all scares me too. But I feel the same way. I can’t imagine life without you. Isn’t that the very reason why people get married?” Your eyes searching his before you continue. “We have a future that you cannot back out of now anyway.” You take his hand resting it on your stomach. “He needs his daddy just as much as his mommy.” You smile up at him. His face softening, the panic immediately disappearing.

“And I can’t wait…but the future, it’s so unknown.”

“I know, but we will have each other. That is all we need.” You run your arms around his neck standing up on your toes kissing him deeply. He moans into the kiss, pulling you closer. You slowly pull back smiling against his lips. “We need to go get me a dress.” You whisper into his ear. He growls pulling you into him you feel his erection pushing against your stomach. “If your good, I’ll take care of that later for you.”

“You drive a hard bargain.”

“That’s not the only thing that is hard.” You rub yourself against him before pulling away.

“You are not playing fair little girl.”

“All is fair in love and war.” You smile at him before turning and heading into the store. Shaking his head, he follows you in.

After showing the clerk the picture of the dress Wanda found, the lady brings out several dresses. When she returns seeing Steve sitting in with the three of you, she raises an eyebrow.

“The groom insists on giving his approval,” Natasha informs her. The clerk looking over Steve one more time, before leaving.

“I think someone recognizes you.” Wanda says to Steve. Steve blushes looking at you, then at the mirror behind you.

“Steve…don't worry. I’m sure that there isn’t much call for paparazzi anymore.” At least that is one good thing that happened since the snap. “Just sit back and enjoy the show.” You grab a dress from the wrack and head off to the fitting room. After a few hours of trying on several dresses, you put on one last dress. Looking yourself over in the mirror you immediately know it is the one. “Close your eyes” You call out to the group waiting for you.

“Okay,” Nat calls out. You slowly shuffle out, peaking around to make sure they all have their eyes closed. Seeing they do, you step out in front of the mirror.

“Open them!” you shout, watching for Steve’s reaction. The look on his face telling you this is the one.

“Y/N…you look like a princess!” Wanda exclaims, standing up walking over to look more closely.

“Oh...I eat my words, this is THE dress.” Nat says. Your eyes locking with Steve’s as he walks over to you. He steps up on the platform.

“DO you like it?” you ask him nervously. He hasn’t said anything yet, turning you, so you can look in the mirror.

“You see that woman there?” He says pointing to the mirror and you nod. “She is the most beautiful woman in the world, and that smuck standing behind her, he is the luckiest man in the world to have her." You can’t help but start crying. “Baby that dress is going to be a problem." he says softly holding you to him as he leans down whispering hotly against you neck, right below your ear.

“Why is that?” you ask, looking down trying to figure out what he is talking about. Concern filling your mind.

“I’m going to have problems leaving it on you.” He growls softly.

“Well…maybe that is not a bad thing.” You whisper back at him. Wiggling you behind into where his hips are.

“Y/N… You need to stop that before I tear this off of you. It would be a shame to ruin this dress, before you actually get to marry me in it.”

You quickly turn to face him, pulling him down kissing him deeply. After your break the kiss, “I better call it a day then…so you can get me back home.” your voice raspy with need. You give him another sweet kiss before stepping down heading to the dressing room.


	12. **Unexpected**

It's been three weeks since you got your dress. It has been 2 months since the snap, and 6 weeks since Tony has been back. Tony’s attitude toward you and Steve is becoming more hostile as time goes on. You are not yet showing, figuring you are about 7 weeks pregnant. You and Steve have come to an understanding about Tony. Have a cordial conversation when necessary, but otherwise avoid. You need to get the team on a united front if they are going to maintain some semblance of order.

“So Rogers, what’s the plan?” Tony asks, the last to arrive at the meeting Steve organized. 

“Stark.” Steve nods at him. Turning back to the group. “Everyone…Y/N and I have been talking.” He reaches over resting his hand on top of yours. “And we think that after the wedding we are going to move out and get our own place.”

Silence filling the room hanging uncomfortably for what feels like an eternity, then Nat speaks up, quietly. “You’re leaving the team?”

“No." you answer, looking at Steve for help.

“No…We just feel it would be better for us…and our baby if we got our own place.” Steve answers. “But I will still be going on missions, and Y/N will still process intel. We still have enemies. Hydra…or what’s left of them, still plans on trying to dominate, and they are not the only group out there. Theypse groups see the decimation of the planet as an opportunity.” His eyes meeting everyone's in the room.

“We need to remain as vigilant as possible. But we also need to set up a system, get people out there. We need to assess what is going on. And we need to eliminate threats to those who are left.”

“So...what? Business as usual?” The anger and disbelief in Tony’s voice, coupled with his drunkenness, is obvious to everyone.

“What else is there?” You ask. “Do you have a plan? A way to fix everything?” You stand up walking over to Tony, who stands up as well, turning, facing you. “Because if you do, I’d love to hear it! For that matter, I’d love to hear ANY ideas you may have!” Your heart is racing, you are so tired of playing nice while all Tony does is mope around the compound. “You are supposed to be a genius…you are supposed to be the one who knows how to fix problems...apparently. So please! Enlighten us! TELL ME, what we are supposed to do since we obviously have it all wrong!”

Tony looks around the room, everyone looking at him expectantly. “Alright, you got me.” He throws his hands up. “I've got nothing! Short of going back in time to get the stones before he does, I have nothing. It’s impossible.” He storms past you, walking over to the window, taking a deep breath, before turning back to the group. “And why is it I have to come up with a solution? What about the rest of you…Thor? Bruce? Natasha?” He looks to each one of them. “And the new group? Any ideas? Suggestions? NO?!?!” His eyes settling on Steve. 

“Well, I have nothing for you. I can’t help. I’ve got my own issues too, as apparently, do we all.” He gestures to the room, looking back at Steve. “I need to figure out who I can trust from who’s left, and I need to get my business back on track…” His eyes moving slowly to you. “And get back what’s mine.” His eyes locking with yours. 

Steve seeing where Tony's eyes are resting and is not liking the implication of his words. Steve wants to punch Tony, to get it through is head who you belong to, but in the need of keeping the team united, he restrains himself. Instead of attacking him, Steve growls. “I am sure we all have those concerns at the moment, with all the changes over the last few months…”

“Try the last few years, Rogers.” Tony’s tone is venomous. “I’ve been dealing with the destruction of the team, and the betrayals..."he pauses for emphasis. "for a couple of years.”

“…but, we need to focus on what we can do right now.” Steve finishes, his glare resting on Tony, ignoring Tony's interruption. “I think Nat has the start of a good plan. Coordination of teams using Furies old system.” He turns to Natasha, ignoring Tony, who huffs, not liking being dismissed. “Natasha, where are you with the networking?”

Nat looks at Tony who is seething, then to Steve. "All I need is to coordinate with a team to expand our reach further…A LOT further.” She answers, looking at Rocket and Nebula.

“Tony…” You say quietly before clearing your voice than speaking louder. “Is there anyway we can use some of Stark industries defense satellites to a amplify the communications for Nat. In a secure way?”

Tony looks at you, his expression softening. “I think I can. It would just be some rewriting of programing, changing the GEO satellites to bounce signals off of LEO satellites, but it can be done.”

“Would you mind?” You smile at him. His eyes still locked with yours, a smile slowly creeping on to his face. 

“Yeah, I’ll get it done this week.” His eyes falling to the floor. The room is quiet for a moment.

“Steve? Is there anything else?” You ask Steve. Sensing everyone is feeling the tension in the room between what has been, and, in many ways, still is their two leaders, you think it may be time to take a break. 

“No we’re good, Thank you, Tony,” Steve says to Tony.

“I didn’t do it for you.” Tony says, in an aside, to Steve.

“I know. Thank you anyway.” Steve responds.

“Tony, can I go over what I need with you?” Nat asks Tony as she approaches the two of you. Steve also moving in.

Tony looks to you, then up to Nat. “Sure, we can talk over dinner?” his flirty tone back, and you feel pain in your heart. It catches you by surprise. Tony has never flirted with anyone from the team ever, and especially not Nat. You know, they did not have the best start to their relationship, but the fact he is flirting should be making you happy. It should be a sign that Tony is moving on, so why does it bother you?

After the two leave, Nat laughing at something else Tony says, you huff, sitting back in your chair. You sit there for a moment before you feel eyes on you. You look up to see Steve watching you. His expression telling you something is bothering him. Looking over to the hallway Tony went down with Natasha, seeing they’re gone, you sigh.

“Tony getting to you?” Steve asks you.

“No.” You answer quickly. Scared he is seeing your jealousy. “I’m just...it’s been a long day and…”

“Well, I have some work to finish up here, but I can meet you in our room in a bit.” He smiles kissing your forehead. You watch him leave, leaving you alone in the conference room.

You sit for a bit enjoying the silence. Your mind keeps going back to Tony leaving with Natasha. You can’t wrap your head around it. You had thought that she and Bruce are working things out. You feel tears filling your eyes, damned hormones. You wipe them away before looking out over the lake near the compound.

“You don’t look as happy as you pretend to be.” You hear Tony saying from behind you. Turning, you see Tony leaning against the conference room door frame, arms neatly folded across his chest.

“What are you doing here?”

“Well...despite the fact that I own the building.... and pay for everyone to live here…”

“Sorry…” you start.

“I saw you sitting here, and I wanted to see if you’re ok.” He interrupts you.

“I…” You want to tell him to leave. You know that being around him is not a good thing. “I thought you were with Natasha?” You blurt out. Tony cocks and eyebrow, the jealous tone in your voice is not missed by him.

“I did what you asked, we discussed what she needed, and I will get it done,” Tony says simply

“Thank you, Tony.” You say, a sniffle sneaking out. Tony puts his finger under your chin, tipping your head up, so his eyes meet yours.

“Now, you wanna tell me why you look like you just got shot in the face with pepper spray?”

“Tony…I…I can’t talk about it. I love Steve.”

“So...Cap fucked up?” 

“No…”

“Then what is going on?”

“Tony…” You try to get up, but he pushes you down, hands on your shoulders. His face getting close to yours.

“I get it.” He chuckles softly. His face moving to the side, his lips brushing against your ear as he continues. “You got jealous…of Natasha.” You want to shake your head no, you want to say it's not true, but your mind freezes. “You have nothing to worry about.” He pulls back, his face dangerously close. His deep chocolate eyes filling yours. “That time I spent alone, it taught me that you are the only women I will ever truly love. It’s only you, who has my heart.” 

You exhale, about to remind him that you are with Steve, when his lips crash into yours. They are soft and gentle, and you welcome them. You don’t know why, but you need him, at that moment your body is crying out to him. You wrap your arms around his neck pulling him down to you. He deepens the kiss for a moment, before pulling away.

“I think we need to move this somewhere more private.” He says softly, offering you his hand. You hesitate, you know that this is a line you did not want to cross, but then you picture him leaving you to go find Natasha, and your jealousy comes rushing back. You take his hand. He leads you to his suite. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. inform Rogers that Y/N is taking some time in the spa and wishes to no be disturbed.”

“Yes, Boss. Should I prepare the aromatherapy?”

“No need, she isn’t going to the spa.”

“Sir?”

“Really?" Tony's exasperation fully evident. "Just tell Rogers she is in the spa and wishes to not be disturbed.” Tony reaches out for the door to his suite. “And scrub all records of Y/N after the conference on the cameras. Y/N and I need some alone time. Enact the usual protocols." You look around Tony’s room, it has not changed much from the last time you were in it; the only difference is there are no fresh cut flowers. You hear the door click shut, locking. Turning to see Tony right behind you. He pulls you to him quickly, his lips on yours instantly. 

You melt into the kiss; it is soft and romantic. He begins walking you back to the bed. You feel your heart racing, the idea of being here with him again, in his room, the reality of what you are about to do hitting you. Your mind starts screaming at you to stop, but your body is wanting more. You feel your calves hitting the bed right before your knees buckle as Tony pushes you down. You can feel him on you, his lips leaving yours, trailing down your cheek to your neck. His hand running slowly down your side. You curse at yourself for going with loose shorts and a thin t-shirt. The heat of his fingers, the caresses of his fingertips, reaching your skin, making you want more. You move your hands down his back, pulling him closer to you. He obliges snaking an arm under you, moving you both up the bed further, his lips reuniting with yours.

You feel him pulling your shirt over your head and lift your arms to allow him to remove it. Your skin reacting to the cool air of the room. “I have been waiting for this, for you to come back.”

“Tony…” You brain panicking now, your body freezing ‘this is wrong. You know this is wrong.’ You tell yourself. You try to push Tony up, but he pushes you back onto the bed. 

“Tony…I can’t do this…Steve…”

“Steve isn’t here…” Tony growls into your ear, his hands sliding down, removing your shorts. In one swift movement they are gone. You start to move away, but he crawls further with you, resting himself between your legs. You try to use you legs as leverage to move away from Tony.

“Tony…I don’t.” His lips landing on yours before you can finish. You are naked under him. You push at him with your hands, but he grabs them with his own his pushing them over your head, holding them down with one hand.

“I can’t wait to be inside you again…” Tony moans out against your lips. You can feel him lining himself up with your entrance, and you try to push him away with your legs. His free hand pushing your thigh to the bed effectively stopping you from moving. “It’s okay baby, I’ll take care of you. I’ll remind you of what a real man can do for you. A man who KNOWS what he is doing.” You want to protest, you open your mouth to tell him no, but Tony captures your words with a kiss as he enters you. His movements are slow and tentative, as if he is exploring you. His thrusts shallow at first, but they quickly become deeper as he seems be adjusting to the feel of you.

“God...I forgot how good you feel…” he groans and you feel a tear slip from your eye. You know protesting or fighting him is not going to keep him from doing this.

His hips start moving faster and his thrusts become sharper. His hand moving from holding your hip down, to lifting your leg around his waist giving him the ability to get deeper. The change in position causing him to hit your sensitive spot inside. You can’t help but cry out. “Oh, God…”

“Yes, baby…you can get as loud as you want.” Tony murmurs in your ear. His thrust becoming hard, knowing he found the spot he was looking for. His free hand moving to push your other leg up to his waist, his thrust becoming slower and he adjusts. You feel your orgasm rising, feeling guilty over this. Tony isn’t the one who is supposed to make you feel like this. This thought is lost when Tony suddenly thrusts into you hard.

“ME…NOT HIM.” He growls at you, your eyes meeting his dark brown ones and the gentleness you are so used to seeing in them is gone. His thrust getting rough, beginning to hurt you. 

“Tony...Stop…it hurts!” you try to tell him.

“I’m…going…to …make…you…. forget…him!!!” he grunts as he is thrusting into you.

“TONY…. FUCK….” you cry out in pain, but Tony is now obsessed, wanting to prove himself, needing to, he ignores you, continuing moving faster. He pulls your legs in front of him pushing then against your torso using them as leverage as his start to move faster. The new position not hurting as much and your orgasm beginss rising inside you, fast. “Tony…” you call out again.

“Fuck...baby...you know how I love it....when you say my name…GOD you …Fuck…you feel good…I missed…” his eyes falling on yours as his own release edges. His mouth hangs open slightly for a second before his thrusts increase to a bruising pace “Fuck…I have waited too long!!” He cries out as his pace becomes frantic. You know he’s about to cum. “FUCK!!!” He cries out as he stills inside you. You lay there, tears falling from your face. He stays above you, inside you, letting your legs down.

“Tony…I need to go…” you say softly.

You see his eyes going darker, his eyes boring into yours, into you. “You’re going back to him?” The look he is giving you is dangerous; you want to crawl away from him, but there is nowhere else for you to go, you are trapped. You quickly trying to crawl away from him, off the bed. You hear Tony hiss as your movements cause him to be removed from you. His hands grabbing you by the waist, pulling you to him.

“Tony…let me go!” You use your stern voice, hoping to snap him out of whatever delusion he is in.

“NO!” Tony says firmly. You can feel his erection forming against your back. “I’m going to fuck you until you forget him.” His voice deep and threatening in your ear.

“Please…”

“Yeah, see, you’re already begging for me,” He whispers. You feel him thrust into you, and you cry out. Tony pushing you down on the bed, his hand settling in your hair the other on your hip. This time he is not holding back. He starts pounding into you without regard for your cries.

“That’s it, baby, I bet the old man can't fuck you like this. You’re going to see fucking stars by the time I am done with you.” The sounds he is making are animalistic. He let's go of your hair, his now free hand joining the other on your hips. He is now slamming you into him as he thrusts forward. The feeling causing you to moan in both pain and pleasure. You can feel your walls tightening as he begins to coax another orgasm from you.

“Yes baby…fuck…you look so good on my dick.” He pants while pounding into you. “God, you are being so good for me.” You bury your face in the bed, not wanting him to hear your uncontrolled moans of pleasure. Soon the trusts are forcefully shoving your head into the headboard of his bed. You push your hands against the headboard to stop yourself from being slammed into it headfirst.

“That’s it baby get ready for it.” He begins slamming into you with a renewed force. The bed begins to bounce and your orgasm hits you instantly. You cry out and Tony joins you seconds later. 

“Fuck…” He pulls out of you. You body freezing in place, exhaustion filling your body. You feel the bed shifting the hear a drawer open and close. You see this as you chance, trying to run you quickly roll over onto you stomache clawing your way off the bed. You are about to get away when you feel Tony’s hand on your ass. He pulls you back with more force then you though he could muster.

“Tony…Please…” You stop mid-sentence when you hear the snap of a cap. ‘NO, no, no, no.’ you mind telling you what he is doing, but you don’t want to believe. Tony has tried to get you to do this in the past, but you didn’t want to. It just seemed…not something you would enjoy. But here you are. “Tony. I am leaving.” You say sternly, you are about to move, suddenly a bracelet is slapped on your left wrist. You try to pull your hand back, but it is frozen in place, before you know it there is matching one the other hand. “TONY!” you scream this time.

“I told you you’re not leaving until I am done with you! NOW BEHAVE!” his voice deep and demanding. Before you can even process what is going on you feel a wet gel being rubbed from your cunt to your ass. You try to pull away from Tony, but he wraps an arm around your waist.

“Tony STOP!” You cry out to him.

“Since you can’t behave,” Tony growls and soon you feel restraints similar to those on your wrists, settling on your ankles. “You’ll have to wear these!”

“TONY! Please…” You cry out as you feel him edging your other entrance.

“Baby…I’ve wanted to do this for so long…It’s going to hurt for a minute, but I promise after that…” He doesn’t finish as he shoves his tip inside of you. You cry out.

“FUCK ME…”

“I’m trying to baby...be patient.” You try to pull away, the restraints holding you in place. You feel him pushing in a little more. “GOD you are so fucking tight.” He pushes in more than groans. “I’m sorry I can’t wait.” You are about to ask him what he means when he shoves into you all at once. You scream out and he moans loudly. He gives you a second before he begins to move.

“GOD baby...we should have done this sooner. You know how TIGHT YOU ARE!?!?” his thrusts are shallow at first, but then become deeper once he finds a rhythm, his hand snakes around to play with you clit for a few moments, before sinking his fingers inside of you. 

“Yes that’s is baby. I’m gonna play your body like a fiddle.” He begins to thrust his fingers in and out of you in time with his thrust, you body, building another release at the combined sensations of his fingers and his cock. "FUCK....I can feel myself inside you....so fucking hot....you are my new favorite toy..."

Soon his fingers leave your core in favor of holding your hips in place as he starts to pound into you. You can’t help but cry out in pleasure as he seems to find a sweet spot, working it to its fullest. His fingers returning to your core, messaging your clit, reaching his climax the sensations bringing yours on shortly after. Tony pumping into you a few more times before pulling out. You can feel the cum seeping out of you. Tony getting up leaving you trapped on the bed while he goes to wash up. When he returns, he is almost erect again? 

“God... sugar....seeing in your like....all poised and ready...looking like you're ready to just fuck all night. Like you just need a cock inside you. That just turns me on." He walks around to the front of you. Studying you for a moment before climbing onto the bed. You look up at him as his torso comes into your view. He wraps a hand around your head, guiding your head down. You can see the dark patch of hair surrounding the skin at the base of his dick. You look back up to him.

“Come ‘on sweetheart you know what to do.” He pushes his hips forward, you look back at him, seeing a bead of pre-cum. You are helpless to move as you are still tethered to the bed. Tony pushes his head to your lips and reluctantly you open them. He thrusts slowly in and out of you, wrapping his hands in your hair. You try to adjust to him as his thrusts deepen. Quickly his shallow thrust become deep thrusts, and you feel yourself choking on his cock.

“That’s it baby, let me fuck your sexy mouth.” His hand gripping your hair tighter. “I’m not going to leave a hole left untouched.....I'm gonna... play... with.. my new... toy... until it's... all broken." he pants after a few seconds. “I’m going to make sure you are good ....and FUCKED! I am going to make sur... Ah FUCK SUGAR....YES!!! SWALLOW ME....You know who you REALLy...BELONG...TO!” his own words seeming to encourage him as his thrust become faster and his dick slipping deeper inside your throat. Seconds later he spills inside you.

“Okay…” He pulls back, moving off the bed, to study you some more. “What next?" he says more to himself then to you. You close your eyes willing it to end, but you feel him climbing back onto the bed, "before you know it he is shoving himself back into your back entrance you scream in pain, he did not lube this time. “Yeah…it’s too tight...to pass up.” He grunts thrusting in and out of your roughly. Your body jerking with each thrust. You are in near tears again. Not sure what else you can do but take what Tony had to give.

“FUCK…GOD…FUCK Yes…. Steve doesn’t...even know...what he is missing!” You hear Tony grunting from behind you. Tears are welling in your eyes. " Maybe we should send him a copy!" Tony grunts out. Steve will never forgive this. You can’t tell him. He must never know. You feel broken, as Tony, the man you used to love, continues slamming into you. You feel him pull out then the restraints on you arms release. You try to move but your legs are still firmly in place. You feel Tony moving around you lifting one of your legs before letting it fall back onto the bed. “Fingerprint.” He says holding up his thumb in way of explanation.

Laying on his back, he drops your leg on the other side of his body. You are now straddling him. Your hands holding onto the headboard to keep from falling onto him you try to move a hand to finding they are again locked in place.

“Uh uhm..” He tuts at you, a smug look on his face. “I didn’t say you could leave. His hand moving to you hips guiding them down, one hand snaking between the two of you, before lining you up with him. Using his free hand, slamming you down onto him. You cry out at the sudden invasion. "Fuck....god, fucking you is a treat." With both of his hands on your hips, he moves you like a rag doll fucking up into you, moving you in whatever way gives him pleasure. " Just....right....oh fuck...yes....your....YES SQUEEZE ME.....BABY....FUCK....RIDE ME HARD!" You feel your stomach warming and the coil in your body tightening as you feel another orgasm rising inside of you.

“Yeah…fuck yea…I love watching your tits bounce while you riDE mY…FUCK TAKING MY DICK SO....FUCK ....fuck…. god I missed you…” He grunts as his thrusts become more forced. 

He starts grinding you down on him between his upward thrusts and before you know it you are both cumming in unison. TONY! FUCKING.... GOD...!” You scream out as Tony thrust hard up into you one last time. 

“Milk me, baby…DRAIN MY COCK…take it like a good girl.” Tony moans as you both work through your release. You still over Tony, but Tony isn’t done. “One more…” He says starting to move again but this time he is flipping you onto your back. He releases your manacles lifting you legs curling your body till your knees hit your chest. With his hands holding you down on the back of your thighs he slams into you.

"TONY....FUCK....!" you cry out as he hits your spot instantly.

"God....ohh....fuck....ywah....who's making you cum....who's fucking you raw?? His thrusts are fast and deep, reaching deep inside you. Takes my cock....milk it....your cunt never had....OH GOD....THATS IT!!! His thrusts suddenly becoming frantic, uncontrolled, purely animal. The sound of slapping skin and wet squelched as the two of you join filling the room. 

"PLEASE....TONY....FUCK..." Your orgasim rising inside you is painful, powerful, and you need it done. TON..FUCK ME...STOP....PLEASE!!!"

OH GOD....YES BEG....BEG FOR MY....COCK...IN YOUR CUNT!!!!....BEG FOR RELEASE!!!!...BEG...ME TO....CUM!!! Then its there, you orgasm washes over you in waves, your body spasms, jerking like you're having a seizure, Tony continues full king you through it, spilling I to you a few seconds later.

You body is completely numb, you cannot money, or feel. You see Tony, breathing slowly, catching his breath before moving slowly own you body. "Let's inspect the damages." He growls. Kissing down your stomache to your core. His tongue delving between your fold while a finger prods your hole. You hiss at the pain, your cunt abused and sensitive. "Well, I'd say that one needs a break. His finger, now slick with your combined fluids moves to your other hole.

Tony runs the entrance, getting your attention. " Tony, please..." fresh tears staining your face.

"I think we have a winner" Tony whispers moving his finger in and out grabbing lub with his other hand, dumping a small amount at you entrance he works it in with his finger before flipping you onto your stomach. He pulls you hips up forcing you to grab to top of his headboard. With out warning he pushes himself into you.

"Christ!...."he cries out. " Did you get tighter?" He thrust languidly for a few moments, then pauses. Leaning ove he opens the drawer again, pulling something else out, you cannot see what it is. "Here, this might help you relax." Leaning forward he runs the object against your clit then you hear a click. Then pleasure floods you.

"OH God....!!!" You cry out.

"Oh that's not the best part, Sugar." Tony begins moving the object to you entrance slowly pushing it inside.

"GOD...NO...I...CANT! TOOO MUCH!!!" You panic.

"Christ!!! FUCK...THAT FEELS....FUCK!!! Tony exclaims. He holds the dildo inside you and begins moving slowly. Findng a pace he likes, he begins experimenting with the dildo.

"SON OF A BITCH....WHY.....I.....GOOD....FUCKING......PERFECT...." His thrusts switching in time with the dildo, fucking into you in earnest, not caring anymore that you are bawling in pain.

"TONY....STOP...you're....it....hurts....GOD....FUCK!" You cry out to him.

"Shhhh...sugar...it feels so goood.....just....alittle....longer...." his thrusting becoming harsher deeper. He stopped pulling out the vibrator, leaving it in for extra pleasure, stretching you beyond capacity..."I'm ALMOST....SOOO....FUCK.....ARRRRGHHHH.....JUST.......FUCK!" His is thrusting frantically, pushing you into the bed, both hands holding you down, fucking into you while the vibrator gets shoved deeper in with the pressure of the bed.

"TONY! STOP!....Tony.....fuck....YOU'RE KILLING ME!!!!"

Tony keeps pounding into you for another minute before his release explodes inside you. He instantly collapses on top of you, reaching under you, pulling the vibrator out from inside you.

"God....that was...." Tony stays on top of you, breathing heavily for, you are unsure how long. When he begins to get off you, you are sure he's finally done with you. You start to shimmy up the bed trying to kneel, when Tony grabs your ankles, rolling you over onto you back. "I need to do that again, ...but..." 

"Tony...no...." you are shaking you head furiously, "...please."

"Its ok. You'll like this way better." He pretends to soothe you, but he honestly doesn't care what you want right now. 

He grabs the vibrator and begins rubbing lubricant all over it, seeing what he's doing, you scream. "TONY LET ME GO! STOP."

Ignoring you, he rolls you to you side, and slowly he begins working the device inside you anus, you scream, and in frustration Tony grabs a shirt off the floor forcing it into your mouth. "Shhh" he says, going back to working into your hole. You can feel it stretching you hole, burning and filling it. Satisfied with how far he's worked it in, turning it on, pushing you onto you back. The vibrations vibrating into your core, you can feel them gently massaging you clit.

Tony quickly lines himself up with your entrance. "Ok..." he takes a deep breath pushing inside you. The stretch to much, you start screaming against the shirt stuffed into your mouth. "FUCKING AMAZING!!!!" Tony grunts moving slowly at first, quickly picking up speed. "FUCK...Its even....can...feel....FUCK!" One of his hands quickly moving beneath you, suddenly the device vibrates faster. 

"FUCK!!!!....IM.....GONNA....EXPLODE...." Tony starts slamming into you, the bed is slamming into the wall, the vibrator begins slipping out of you giving you some relief. But Tony begins to notice that too, quickly shoving back in, deeper this time, you scream with the fresh pain. Soon his thrusts lose rhythm, faltering before with a few bed banging thrusts, he stills inside you.

"FUCK!" He's gasping for breath, "why didn't I get that thing sooner." Referring to the thing still vibrating in you ass. After a few moments you can feel him hardening inside you again. "Ready for another go, this is better than viagra." He starts moving inside you slowly, languidly. Moaning loudly, pornstar moans. Before he can get further he is interrupted by F.R.I.D.A.Y.

“Boss...I don’t mean to interrupt…”

“FUCK!... THEN DON’T!” Tony yelling at the ceiling, working himself into another erection inside of you. 

“But Boss…Captain Rogers is looking for Y/N. He knows she is not in the spa…”

“Good…”

“But Sir…” You try desperately to push Tony away from you, your mind in a full-on panic. 

“FINE! FUCK...IT....ALL” exclaims thrusting into you a few more times. “Tell him you found her, and send him here, but wait ten minutes. We need to let Y/N get dressed first."

Tony continues thrusting into you fast, trying to get one last release, rubbing you clit for extra stimulation.

‘Very good sir.” Then the room goes silent.

His thrust are fast and hard, making you cry out around your gag. He is quickly reaching his peak, you walls fluttering around him, "That's it baby....milk me...get very last drop .... FUCK... YOUR.... YOU... GETTING.... " he evolves into gibberish, pounding into the wall with the bed, spilling out seconds later

.

A moment later, he climbs off you, unshackling you, gesturing for you to use the bathroom. You test your wrists, feeling that you can move them again. You quickly climb off of the bed and grab your clothes running to the bathroom. While you are getting dressed, you hear Tony shuffling around, then there is a loud banging on the door. 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, let him in.” you hear Tony’s casual voice, he is smug knowing his room reeks of sex, and his "other toy" is laying in plain view on the messed bed. The next thing you hear is Steve’s voice.

“Where is she?”

“She’s in the bathroom,” Tony says plainly. A few seconds later, you hear a knock on the door. 

“Baby, you in there?” The hurt in Steve’s voice obvious.

“Yeah. I’ll be right out.” You look at yourself in the mirror, your eyes are red, your hair shuffled; it is obvious you were crying. You step out and right into Steve, who is waiting for you.

“Baby, are you okay? You look upset?” Any sign that Steve is upset with you is gone upon seeing your puffy red eyes.

“Yes…but can we leave, please.” You say not even looking up, your eyes trained on his chest. 

“Yes, of course…” You start to walk but your legs are numb, the abuse of earlier taking its toll.” You stumble a bit and Steve catches you. He hoists you into his arms. You wrap your arms around his neck burying your face in his chest. Steve walks out of the room getting outside the door. You can’t hold it in anymore, sobbing uncontrollable.

“What did you do to her?” Steve’s deep threatening voice, turning to Tony.

Tony meets Steve’s gaze before replying. “Ask her.” Deciding to add for good measure, an additional comment, before slamming the door shut. “Nothing she didn’t want.”


	13. Aftermath

Steve is carrying you back to your bungalow. You are clinging to him desperately. He tries to put you down on the bed, but you continue clinging to him, digging your nails into him. Frantically shaking your head no, sobbing uncontrollably. Steve lies down on the bed pulling you in next to him. He places a hand on your cheek. “Hey…hey…talk to me…” His forehead resting against yours.

“Can we move soon…like tomorrow? I just need to get away from here.” Pulling him to you, burying your face into his chest, crying harder.

“Baby…tell me what happened…Did Tony do something? Did he hurt you?” 

You go stiff in his arms, feeling the anger radiating from him. His tone getting dangerously low, and you know telling him what happened will make it worse. He'll explode, and very possibly kill Tony, he'll probably hate you for even being in Tony's room, for putting yourself in that situation to begin with. You want to tell him the truth, but you are afraid of the truth. You know that you should never have been in Tony’s room, but you also know that you told Tony to stop. You know that what happened after you said no wasn’t your fault, but you did kiss Tony and you went to his room willingly. Your sobs becoming dry, you feel yourself beginning to hyperventilate.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, call Bruce and have him come here, immediately!” Steve calls out to the A.I. You begin furiously shaking your head, trying to bring yourself under control. Steve, seeing your reaction, instantly knows something is wrong. He knows something happened to you. Bringing your breathing under control, your body begins to relax. You are starting to fall asleep, everything Steve enveloping you in a sense of calm, of safety.

“Captain Rogers, Dr. Banner is on his way,” F.R.I.D.A.Y announces.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y can you do one more thing for me? Can you send the video footage of Ms. Y/L/N from the time of tonight’s conference, everything until this point?”

“I’m afraid I cannot do that sir.” Steve’s eyes meeting yours, he can see the fear there. The way you are clinging to him, he begins to suspect what happened, but he can’t be sure, not unless he has proof.

“And why is that?” Steve asking no one. His tone short and sharp.

“The video footage for that time is no longering in my data files.” Steve runs his free hand over his face before pulling you closer to him.

“Under whose authority?”

“Mr. Stark's, sir.” Steve looks down at you again, your face buried in his chest. He can feel you sobbing in his embrace. The anger inside him building.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. one last question. How long was Y/N in Mr. Stark’s bedroom? And what was the nature of their visit?” You vehemently shake your head, trying to pull away from Steve. You don’t want to be near him when he finds out, but in your exhausted weakened state you can’t move much. Steve is holding you to him tightly, your actions telling him all he needs to know.

“She was with him for 73 minutes before you arrived, Captain Rogers. I cannot comment as to the nature of the visit, per Mr. Stark's protocols regarding his private activities.” That is all he needed to hear.

“FUCK!” Steve looks down at you. His voice getting soft, he already suspecting the answer, but has to ask anyway. “Baby…talk to me. Did Tony…did you go into Tony’s room with him?” He tries something simple, at first, trying to get you to just talk, to open up to him.

You look into his eyes. You see no anger, only concern, so you feel your defenses lowering. Steve pulling you back into him, looks away, not wanting you to see the betrayal on his face. Taking in a few deep breaths, taking the next step in figuring out what happened, asking. “Did you kiss him?” 

You nod and begin to sobbing again. Steve taking in another breath, his chest rising and falling, you can feel it under your head, you cling tighter, afraid that he is going to get angry, leave you.

“Did you want to kiss him?” You you body stiffens, breath left unexpelled. There it is. The question you didn’t want to answer. Your mind racing to come up with the answer that might save your relationship with Steve. You know you have to say something, or he will see your silence as an admission.

“That is all I wanted to do… when I did, I knew it was wrong. I tried to tell him no….” You break into tears pulling Steve into you. Steve’s grip on you tightening. His heartbreaking for, and because of you.

“Baby…I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.” Quietly soothing you. “But you need to tell me…what happened?” You shake your head vigorously. He sighs. “Baby…I know Tony hurt you, I am pretty sure what happened, but I need you to tell me before I can do anything.” Your eyes going wide, Steve knows. At that moment he knows. The look you are giving him, along with the way you are acting, and the missing video footage via Tony. It all makes sense.

“Steve…I…” Before you can say anything, else there is a knock on the door. 

‘DAMMIT’ Steve curses mentally. You are finally coming out of your shell. Now, he can see you, feel you retreating back into yourself. Steve gentle tries to pull himself away from you, but you cling tighter, scared he is leaving. He resigns, staying next to you.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, let Dr. Banner in please.”

Steve can hear the door unlocking, and Banner knocks softly poking his head in. “Steve…Y/N…??”

“Bruce, we’re in the bedroom,” Steve calls out. You snuggle into him. Trying to get lost in him, trying to forget what happened just an hour ago. You just want to be away from here, from Tony.

“Steve…what’s going on?” Bruce asks looking from Steve to you and back again.

“I need you to check her over, she is visibly shaken and hyperventilating.” Steve lightly brushes his hand over your hair before placing a kiss atop your head. “Baby, let Bruce look at you. I need to know you are okay. Can you do that for me?” When you look up at Steve, the fear in your eyes nearly kills him. He wants to kill Tony, but he knows that without solid proof he will just look like a jealous crazy man. And with you unwilling to tell him what happened, there is no way to prove otherwise. 

After a few moments you nod, Steve moving away from you slightly. You panic, looking at him. “I’ll be right here baby, but I have to give Bruce room. Okay?” You watch as Steve settles on the bed next to you, putting a small amount of space between the two of you, pulling your hand into his. “I’m right here okay?”

You nod, smiling for the first time since you left Tony’s room. “Okay…I love you.” You say softly, Steve tearing up at your words.

“I love you too, baby.” 

Bruce moves slowly over to you. You can’t help but cringe at his proximity. “Y/N…it’s okay. It’s just me.” You look at Steve then back to Bruce nodding. Bruce giving Steve a questioning look, Steve shakes his head, and Bruce looks back at you conducting his exam. You are jittery throughout the examination but allow him to do what he needs. When he is finished, he looks at Steve. “Steve, can I talk to you, in private, for a moment.”

Steve looking down to you questioningly, you nod. You are calmer now. Bruce has given you a sedative to help with the anxiety, and now you are sleepy. Steve leaning over kissing you on the temple before following Bruce out into living area, quietly closing the door behind you.

“Steve…What the hell is going on? She is traumatized!” She cringes when I touch her, I could barely get her blood pressure.” Bruce says glaring on him.

“That is exactly what I would like to know,” Steve says sitting on the sofa. Placing his face in his hands, rubbing it for a minute before speaking. “I found her in Tony’s room. She was crying, her eyes were puffy and she was weak. I had to carry her back here. She will barely speak to me.” Steve’s eyes meeting Bruce’s. “I think I know what happened…” Bruce sits across from Steve on the sofa. “Steve…” Bruce wants to console him, wants to say something, but he knows nothing will help, so he remains silent.

“Bruce. He erased all video footage of what happened and instructed F.R.I.D.A.Y to say nothing. She clings to me, like I am her lifeline.” Steve feels tears welling in his eyes. “Bruce, she started to tell me…I am pretty sure he raped her.”

“Steve…this is Tony we’re talking about here, Tony, I mean he's a little obsessive, but....” Bruce’s voice getting firm. “Sure he can be an ass. He tends to be a little arrogant and he wasn’t too happy about Y/N leaving him for you. But this…” He motions to you in the room. “Tony is not…”

Steve cuts him off. “Bruce. She was in his room for over an hour. F.R.I.D.A.Y told me that much. You see her. HE DID SOMETHING.” Steve’s voice rising. Taking a deep breath, looking to your room hoping you don’t hear him. “She wants to leave...now. She doesn’t even want to wait for the wedding anymore.” Steve wiping the tears from his eyes, looking up to Bruce. His expression becoming serious. “Think Bruce. WHO ELSE would do this to her? Me?? You know better.” Steve giving Bruce a minute. He watches the man looking to the door of your room, then back at Steve. “I can see it in your eyes, Bruce. You know what happened to her, you know she didn’t want this!”

Bruce gets up. “Steve…I’m not a medical doctor…”

“DON’T give me that shit Bruce! It doesn’t take a degree to see what is going on, what has happened.” Steve standing up, moving in front of Bruce. “You’ve seen her, you know. I am taking her away from here tomorrow. I can’t stand to look at this place or him anymore.” Steve says, turning to your room. Outside the door, he heaves a deep breath, turning back to Bruce. “You can still come to the wedding; Y/N would want you all to be there.” Steve finishes before opening the door, leaving Bruce to explain to the rest of the team.

“Baby…I’m here.” Hearing his voice, opening your eyes, seeing him kneeling in front of you next to the bed. “We’re leaving tomorrow morning. You don’t have to be here anymore.” His voice is low and soft. 

“We…” You say softly, making sure you heard him correctly. “You and I?” You try to clarify.

“Of course…I can’t leave me best girl behind now. Can I?” His voice is soft and soothing. You begin to cry.

“Steve. I love you.” You cry out wrapping your arms around him.

“I love you too baby. Now get some rest, we have a long drive ahead of us, tomorrow.”

Your eyebrows shooting up. “Steve…Brooklyn isn’t that far…” You are slightly confused.

“I know…But I thought you’d want some space. I’m taking you to some place special.” His smile spreading and you can’t help but smile back. You have no idea where he is taking you, but you trust him to do what is right.


	14. Departure

You wake the next morning with Steve next to you, curled up into you. You melt into his warmth. His breathing even and steady. For a moment you almost forget about what happened, then it comes rushing back. The memories breaking you, and you begin to cry. The sound of your sobs waking Steve next to you.

“Hey, hey, hey…” His arms wrapping around you and you bury yourself in him, tears falling freely. “We are leaving soon, I have someplace for us to go. It’s not far from here.”

“Is…it far enough so…so I don’t…. I don’t want to see him.”

“I know baby…You won’t. I promise.” You fall back asleep, crying in his arms. You reawaken a short time later to an empty bed. Sitting up looking around the room. After a moment you see that the closet doors are open, and all your clothes are gone. You climb out of bed and head out into the main living area. Seeing that there are suitcases sitting by the door, but no Steve insight,you begin to panic.

Grabbing your phone from the table, you begin dialing his number when there is a knock on the door. Getting up to answer it, thinking it must be Wanda or Nat coming to ask about something for the wedding, some last-minute preparations. Pulling the door open, and your face immediately dropping. Your body begins to shake, you hitting send on you call to Steve.

“Hello, I think...maybe we should talk,” Tony says, his eyes meeting yours. You try to slam the door in his face, but his hand bolts up, stopping you. “No, don’t do that.”

“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!” you scream at him. But he just pushes in past you, closing the door behind him.

You remember your phone in you hand, lifting it to your head before Tony pulls the phone from you. Tossing it aside. “So you and Steve are leaving?” he says accusing, pulling you over to the sofa.

“Yes.” You quickly crawl away from him as quickly as possible, his hand still holding tightly to one of yours.

“And you weren’t even going to say goodbye?”

“GO to hell!” you hiss at him.

“Well, I think I should at least get a goodbye kiss, don’t you?” he says leaning into you. You try moving away from him, as far as you can, but with his grip on your hand, he pulls you back in quickly, wrapping his other arm around you, his lips pushing into yours. You begin struggling, trying to get away, but he presses you down onto the sofa, his body pushing into yours. His hand moving up your thigh, beginning to slide underneath your nightshirt.

“Tony…STOP!!” You scream out at him. But he ignores you. You close your eyes, trying to imagine being anywhere but here, at this moment. Suddenly, you feel Tony moving away quickly. Opening your eyes, seeing Tony flying across the room and into the wall by the door.

“GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HER!” Steve’s back is all you can see. His voice is dangerously low.

You quickly move to stand up. Steve hearing you, reaching behind him pushing you into his back, protecting you. You look around him to see Tony starting to stand up. Steve voice, low and protective come over his shoulder. “Go get dressed. I’ll meet you in the car.” You nod silently. Quickly gathering the clothes left on the chair in the bedroom. When you walk back into the living area Tony is standing next to the door. The two men are glaring at each other.

“It’s okay baby, Tony is not moving,” Steve says firmly. You look at him his eyes never leaving Tony’s. You scurry past Steve pausing for a second seeing Tony’s eyes-catching yours for a second.

“I’ll see you later....sugar.” He says to you. You cringe and Steve is instantly there, his hand on your shoulder. 

“No, you won’t.” The deep, dangerous, commanding voice of Steve sending chills down my spine. His own demeanor changes as you feel his hand sliding down your arm before quickly and swiftly grabbing your ass, you shriek spinning toward him, the unusual display from him getting your attention. He leans in, kissing you softly, possessively. “Baby, I’ll see you in the car.”

“Ok…” Slightly unsure of what is going to happen.

“I love you.” He says to you.

“I love you too.” You say softly, turning, going out the door.

Steve turning his glare on Tony. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

“You really have her wrapped around your perfect little finger, don’t you? Or should I say your cock?” Tony smirks.

Steve responding by punching Tony across the jaw hard enough to make blood come out of his mouth in a dribble. Tony responding, activating his nano suit and blasting Steve in the wall behind him.

“So, this is how you want to play it?” Steve repling in a low growl.

“Well let’s see........you steal my girl......and not only did you take her, NO! But you don’t even have the courtesy of telling me your fucking her for a year,” Tony says zapping him with another shot from his repulsor.

“Well, I guess she didn’t want to hurt your sensitive ego…” Steve replies getting up, sizing up the room, assessing his tactics.

“OR.....Stop me if I'm wrong.... but bear with me....you’re a lying hypocrite who has the whole world fooled by your perfect all-American persona,” Tony says, slowly moving toward Steve.

“You talk of persona’s…..." Steve standing in a defensive posture, calculating Tony's actions. "Do you think you can hide behind yours? After what you did to Y/N?” Steve says, eyeing on his shield in the pile of bags near the door.

“Oh…yeah....that is the point isn’t it?” Tony chuckles moving slowly over to the small bar in the corner of the room, giving Steve a clear shot to his shield. “The reason we all fell apart?” He moves slowly in that direction of his shield as Tony moves to the bar. “The team is torn apart? For what?!?” Tony pulls out a glass, gesturing to the room. “A piece of ass?”

Steve gritting his teeth, trying to maintain his composure just enough to get to his shield. “And you wonder why she left you?”

“And you had nothing to do with that?”

“I take some of the blame…” Steve says, moving closer to his goal. “But I think that the fact that you couldn’t stay true to her was the deciding factor in her choosing me.”

“Oh, so you think…” Tony takes another drink refilling his glass. “Y/N is faithful to you? How do you think we ended up IN my room last night?”

Steve feeling a moment of hurt. He knows Tony has a small piece of you. It is what he is using to pull you in, but whatever it is, it is gone now. Tony made sure of that last night. “Is this why you had to RAPE her to get what you wanted?” Steve growls. Feeling the shield rubbing against his leg. He is ready to take Tony out, once and for all.

Tony laughs softly. “That is a funny way of putting it. I wish I had the footage. Would’ve made for a great rewatch later.” His eyes moving to Steve, the smirk on his face unnerving. “I took her in ways you probably never thought of.” Tony’s smile getting bigger. “You know....I could show you sometime. You have no idea how filthy our little whore is!”

That is it....it's all Steve can bear, not needing to hear anymore to give himself a reason to do what he needs to do. He flips the shield up into his hand as he runs at Tony. His free hand coming down hard connecting with Tony’s nose. Blood spraying across the wall behind him. Tony swings back, connecting with Steve’s jaw. Tony grabbing Steve’s shirt the two flying across the room, smashing into yet another wall.

Outside, you can hear the smashing noises, your mind automatically going to the worse possible scenario, quickly calling Natasha.

“Nat…we need EVERYONE at my quarters NOW!” you shout into the phone, ending the call.

You get out of the car and run to the entrance. You arrive just in time to see Tony being flung across the room as Steve backhand’s him with his shield.

“Steve…” you cry out to him, blood is dripping from a wound in his side, it looks deep and there is a laceration on his forehead that is sending a trail of blood down the side of his face. Stopping turning to you, concern in his eyes, meeting yours.

“Baby…go wait in the car!”

“NO, let her watch!” Tony calls out from the other side of the room. “I want her to see what she left me for.”

Tony walking closer to you, you start to move away. Before you can get far though he has his arm around your waist pulling you to him. Your chest flush against his. “Let’s show Rogers how you really feel.” His lips crash into yours, you struggle, pushing him away from you, your arms uselessly caught in his embrace. His kiss is deep, probing and long. You start to see stars from the lack of oxygen before you can finally pull away. Tony letting you go, saying, “See Steve, she keeps coming back? Do you think you are protecting her? You are just a barrier. If you were gone, she’d come running back to me without a second thought. She just has to have a dick between her legs, it doesn’t matter who’s!” 

He chuckles, loud enough for both of you to hear. “I’m not sure you are even man enough to keep her satisfied,” Tony adding. Steve grabbing him with one hand while punching his smug face with the other. You are standing in terror as Steve keeps punching Tony.

“Steve…” You try to calm him. Steve continues pounding on Tony, having since switched hands. The mask of Tony’s suit is the only thing keeping him alive, reforming over his face, covering the damage that Steve is causing. You reach out to touch him and he spins on you, you flich at the look on his face. 

“Steve…please…stop. You are better than…” Your motion to Tony, tears filling your eyes.

Steve studies you, pausing, looking at his bloodied hands before finally looking at Tony. An unconscious Tony. “God…” his voice is weak and broken. “I’m sorry.” He begins to cry wrapping his arms around the back of your thighs pulling you to him, resting his head against your stomache. “Please baby…don’t leave.”

You can’t help but feel your heart both breaking and going out to him simultaneously. “Steve…baby. I’m not going anywhere!” You drop down to meet him. Your eyes locking with his red swollen ones. “WE are going to get married. WE are going to have our baby. And nothing and no one is going to stand in our way.” You tell him, kissing him deeply, he kisses you back eagerly, finding salvation in the kiss. The acceptance he finds there is exactly what he needs.

Breaking from Steve, interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat behind you. Turning to see Nat, Wanda, Vision, and Rhodes. Their eyes wide, taking in the destruction of the room around you.

“Y/N…what the hell happened?” Rhodes asks. You nod to Tony, who is laying behind Steve on the floor. Bruce walking up, as the rest look to see what is going on.

“Tony…” Bruce’s voice filled with disappointment.

“Bruce…” Your voice is cold, distant. You are trying to hide your emotions, afraid showing them will betray the situation, and reveal what really happened. Steve is the first to speak.

“Y/N and I are leaving. We bought a cabin north of here.” Steve says getting up, offering you his hand. You take it, moving next to him. “You have our numbers and you know when and where the wedding is, we hope to see you all there.” Steve finishes pulling you to the car, opening the door for you, and you get in. Steve returning to what is left of the bungalow to retrieve your bags. 

You see Natasha stopping him, they exchange a few words; Bruce is standing close behind her. Steve’s expression going angry as he pulls his arm away from her. He points at Tony, then at you, Nat’s eyes going wide looking over to you, as does the rest of the team. You can see tears in Wanda’s eyes. Those tears telling you they now know. 

You see Nat pulling Steve in for a hug, drawing your attention to him. He hugs her back, stiffly, before pulling away. He turns abruptly, heading to the car, getting in. Taking a deep breath before turning to you, putting a smile on his face. “Baby, you ready? You are going to love it.” You nod as he starts the car. You turn back to the group of people, your family as you and Steve pull away.


	15. Retreat

The two of you drive to a small town located a couple of hours away from the compound. The drive is quiet. You, taking in the scenery as it flies by, Steve, keeping himself focused on the road. His mind going over everything that has happened to you in the last few days, hoping that this time away will help you to feel safe. Maybe even open you to accepting to what he has planned for after the wedding.

He turns down a dirt drive on the right, the car enters the shade from the canopy of trees covering the ceiling of the drive. A few moments later the ceiling breaks as the car breaks into a clearing. The first thing you see is a small lake. The sun peeking out from the mountains behind it, sending a golden ripple over the lake. Your eyes following the shoreline to a small cabin. From the outside, this cabin looks, old but wonderful. It is built with cypress wood and has sandstone decorations. Tall, rectangular windows overlooking the lake add to the overall style of the house.

Steve pulls around to the front of the home before parking that car. Getting out, Steve runs over to your door as you start to get out. You are still taking in the view and the surrounding grounds. Stepping out you can see he is beaming with excitement. You look at the cabin sitting in front of you. The house itself is surrounded by gravel ground and shrubbery, with a large porch that has an area for eating and relaxing dotted various potted plants. There is a small area on the east side, in a clearing there is a garden patch, one that is ready for planting.

You are walking into the cabin when Steve grabs you. “No, I wanted to give this to you for a wedding gift, but….” He whisks you up into his arms bridal style. “despite all that. I am still going to honor this tradition.” He steps across the threshold with you in his arms before kissing you fiercely. You kiss him back snuggling into him for a moment.

“Steve…As much as I love being in your arms. I like being on my feet too, at least for now.” Steve puts you down, disappointed. You can’t help your giggle at his expression “Don’t worry there, soldier, I’m sure in a few months I’d love having you carrying me around.” 

You place a sweet kiss on his cheek before turning to face the room around you. Steve guiding you through the cabin, it is deceiving larger outside then it is inside. The house is equipped with a modest kitchen next to a small wooden table to the right of you. Looking to your left you see a large fireplace flanked by two doors. The fireplace is stone and obviously handmade. The cabin, combined with the exposed wood logs, and the obvious hand made furniture telling you that this cabin is old.

“Steve…it’s beautiful.” You continue looking around noticing there is a filtering of light coming from above, in both the kitchen and living room. Looking up you see two large, skylight windows letting in a pool of light to the rooms below. 

“It has been in my family for years, It was passed to me when my parents passed.” His voice growing distant at the memories of all that was lost. “When I came here it was…well, I put work into it, got it back to living condition.” He motions up to the skylights. “Added a few things I thought you may enjoy. There are more in each bedroom too.”

“There is more than one bedroom?”

“We need room for the little one.” Steve’s smile returning, his hand moving to rest over your stomach. “Are you going to look around?”

“Only if you come with me." You smile up at him, taking his hand. “I could use a guided tour.” Steve guiding you to the room on the right of the fireplace, and opening the door to a smaller room that is obviously a nursery. The walls are wood slats painted white. There are natural wood furnishings. You see a beautiful handmade crib and matching 6 drawer dresser, as well as a large armoire. There is a large plush armchair in the corner next to a large window. There are several stuffed animals and a wooden carved rocking horse as well.

“Steve, this is gorgeous.” You feel your eyes welling with tears.

“These were mine when I was a child.” You look at Steve surprised the items still existed. “She kept them for me to use with my own children.”

“Steve this is…everything is perfect. I love you.” You throw your arms around him, leaning in to whisper in his ear. “Show me our room.”

Once inside, Steve wraps his arms around you, pulling you to him. Leaning in to kiss you, instead you jump into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist. He kisses you deeply, carrying you into the bedroom, laying you down, gently, onto a soft bed. It creaks slightly, the iron frame sifting, bed dipping, as he climbs onto the bed next to you. You lay there for a moment, taking in the room around you. The walls are the same painted white slats as in the nursey, the furniture slightly different. You see two dark wood dressers, one on each side of the room. There is a small vanity next to the door that you came in from. On the other side of the door, you see a vanity made of the same dark mahogany wood.

“So you like it?” Steve asks, kissing down the side of your neck. You run your hands through his hair, enjoying the feeling of his lips against your skin. His hands move down your hip, lightly massaging your skin, in a panic you push him away. Your mind recalling images of Tony’s hands, there the pain of the bruises fresh. 

Steve, looking down at you with concern, “Baby…I’m sorry.” You begin crying. 

“Steve I’m so sorry. I can’t…I…” You cry harder. Frustration filing you. 

“Baby, it's okay we can wait, take all the time you need; I’ve got the rest of my life to wait.”

“But that’s it! You shouldn’t have to! I am your fiancé. I’m going to be your wife! And you can’t even touch me, not without me seeing him!” You begin to sob uncontrollably. Steve laying on his side next to you, pulling you into him.

“Baby, it takes time. You need time to heal, not just physically, but mentally.”

“Steve…” trying to temper your frustration. “This isn’t fair to you, he took everything from me…from us.” Crying as he pulls you closer, trying to comfort you. His own rage filling him as he begins to plot how he is going to get back at Tony for hurting you so deeply.


	16. Messages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> VERY SHORT CHAPTER...I just wanted to get something up. I have been going through life and have neglected my writing but now I am back and will try to update regularly again.

“Stop fussing with your hair you’ll mess it up.” Nat scolds you while Wanda tries to repair the damage you have already done. You just huff. You haven’t had a minute to yourself since 5 am. The reality of the day has been weighing on you. You love Steve, you want to spend your life with him, but part of you is feeling like you are cheating him. You haven’t been able to open to him. Not since Tony…You can’t even think about it.

Wanda steps back, pleased in her work. You can’t help but smile at her. The sage green tea-length dresses with cream embordered overlay are a perfect fit for the vintage wedding theme. You watch as everyone is fussing and excited, but you don’t feel that. You feel guilt and regret. You don’t want to deprive Steve of his wedding night, of the picture-perfect wedding. Suddenly everything seems wrong all wrong and you begin to cry.

“Oh sweetie,” Wand leans over you. “Your hair is beautiful don’t worry.” Wanda trying to calm you, thinking you are upset at messing up your hair. She turns to Nat. “Everything is going ok?” Natasha is finishing up talking to one of the event planners.

“So far so good, everyone that is supposed to be here is and the ones that shouldn't are not.” Her voice lowering at the end. Tony is for lack of better terms, exiled from the compound, after it was discovered what he had done. Natasha’s eyes falling on yours, offering reassurance you will be fine.

“Thank you.” You say to her softly. She smiles and nods.

“Natasha…” the three of you turn to see someone at the door. “We need your opinion of the positioning of the ice sculpture. Nat nods giving you one last sympathetic look before following the attendant out of the room. Wanda looks up from the message she is reading.

“I have to go too. You going to be okay for a minute. Apparently, Vision is having issues with the attire. She smiles slightly and you can’t help but smile back.

“I’ll be fine, go.” She hugs you gently, making sure that your dress and hair remain intact.

You sit alone for the first time that day and just thinking. You contemplate what you have gone through so far, and what is yet to come. You think of all that you and Steve have gone through to get to this point, and you smile. Your thoughts interrupted by the lighting up of your phone. You pick it up to see you have three messages the first is from Steve Morning beautiful… I cannot wait to see you in that dress, as my wife.

You can’t help the tears welling in your eyes. This is all you have ever wanted since you began your relationship with Steve. You open the next message and your emotions instantly change.

I hear you are getting married today. I wanted to give you my congratulations ....on succeeding. I have lost everything, completely.

You want to push the phone away and not read the next message, but your hand reaches out and opening it anyway.

All I have left to do now... is repay the favor. Steve cost me everything and now I will return the favor.

You begin sobbing uncontrollably. This is another reminder of what you are depriving Steve of. Steve will always have to look over his shoulder while he’s with you. The happy life he wants, the normal life, with children, that can never happen with you. Not with Tony hiding in the shadows, watching, and waiting, not with you unable to consummate your marriage. The panic begins overtaking you. 

You make a decision. You look around and see Nat’s purse. You grab it and digging out the car keys. Inside you see a notepad and decide to leave Steve a message.

Steve, You deserve more than I can give you. You deserve a wife who can give you a proper wedding night, not the damages shadow of a person I am. You deserve a woman who  
will support you and stand by you, not one who cowers behind you. You deserve peace after all the fighting you have done for the world, not a woman who brings you more  
conflict.

I hope you will find her someday. I love you.

Y/N

You begin crying fresh tears as you lay the note on the vanity in from of you. You turn to the window on your right, hiking up your dress and climbing through it. You run to Natasha's car.

Just as you are about to get in you hear a familiar voice “Traditionally the bride leaves with the groom, and out the front entrance, not the window.”


	17. Taken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR NOTE: Sorry it took so long to update. I lost my muse around the same time my life got crazy. But I'm back on track I hope. This really took a turn for me, but I think it will work out better.

“Steve, that tie is straight.” He turns to see Natasha standing in the doorway.

“I’ve never been this nervous.” His smile faltering a bit.

“Steve…” Natasha sighs walking over to him, sitting on a chair, she pulls up next to him. “Y/N loves you. The two of you have been through hell to get here. You both deserve this.”

“It’s just…” Steve looking down at the floor, trying to find the right words.

“You never thought you’d love someone like you did Peggy.” Natasha says for him.

“Natasha…” His eyes meeting hers giving her a warning look. “I love Y/N.”

“Steve. No one doubts that. But I think you are having a hard time letting yourself be happy.” Natasha searching his face, continuing. “But you need to...let yourself be happy, because if you don’t, then eventually, she’ll see it. She’ll feel like she isn’t enough for you. You love her, I don’t doubt that. But you had better let her know, or you will end up alone again.”

Natasha sits still for a few more moments longer, getting back up. “I’m going to go check on her. I’ll see you in a minute.”

Steve looking at his watch, “I am trying, Nat, I do love her.”

“Then love her completely, Steve. She is carrying your child for christ’s sake.” With that final comment, she leaves.

Steve continues staring at his watch. The last few years running through his mind. The memories and the emotions the memories overwhelming him. He begins to realize this life he has lived with you, the life you gave him; he could never have had this with Peggy, even if he was given the chance. After a few more moments, he realizes that maybe this is all meant to happen. Maybe everything that happened to him, happened to bring him to this moment to you. He can’t help but smile. For the first time ever in his life, feeling he is finally where he belongs. He looks up one last time and adjusting his tie again, quickly standing and heading out to the ceremony.

Steve stands nervously at the alter waiting next to Thor, for you to walk in. Wanda comes in first, Vision on her arm. A couple of minutes later he is still waiting for Natasha. A soft murmur comes over the small crowd of people in the room. Steve looking nervously over to Thor whose expression is exhibiting slight concern.

It is not until he sees Natasha entering the room, pale, eyes brimming red. Steve immediately moving to find you, his heart racing, mind racing faster. He knows there is something wrong, shoving past Natasha, breaking into a full run to the room you are assigned to get ready in. He doesn’t hesitate in busting down the door, Natasha on his heels.

“STEVE!” she calls to him, finally catching up to him. “Here…” she hands him a note. His eye meeting hers for a brief moment, questioning, but she nods to the letter, stepping back, turning and walking away. Natasha returning I g to the chapel, to tell the people gathered down the hall that the wedding is not going be happening, at least not today.

Steve reads the letter several times, unsure of what else to do. He begins blaming himself. Did he do something wrong? Did he not love you enough? Did he push you into this? Maybe you saw that a part of his heart was still with Peggy. As his mind is running the possible reasons for you to leave him the phone on the dressing table begins to ring. His eyes moving to it, taking it in. It is not Y/N’s phone. It’s not anyone’s phone that he recognizes. He picks it up. “Hello?”

“Ah…good.” Steve’s body is filled with ice.

“Rumlow.”

“Hey Cap. So... you finally decided to try to settle down.” The voice on the other end chuckles. “How is that working for you?"

“Where is she?”

“Who?” there is a slight pause. Steve can just feel Rumlow smirking from the other end of the line. “Oh…wait don’t tell me. She ran?” he chuckles into the phone. Steve grip tightening on the other end.

“WHERE IS SHE!”

“Oh, …she’d fine. They both are.”

“You SON OF A BITCH!”

“OH....come now, Cap, watch your language.”

“RUMLOW…When…”

“Now now…no empty threats.” Steve hears a voice in the background, he can tell Rumlow has his hand over the voice piece of the phone. A few seconds later he is back. “Did it ever occur to you that she WANTED to leave?” the connection is ended, the phone is silent.

In a fit of rage, he throws the phone against the wall. It hits just to the left of the partially open door. A door that is now opening to reveal Natasha standing in it.

“Whoa…Steve. What was that?”

“Rumlow…”

“I remember him being larger and not plastic,” Natasha comments looking at the shattered pieces on the floor.

“He has Y/N, he called to gloat.” answering, ignoring the attempts of levity.

“Steve…” Natasha is trying to figure out what is going on. “We will get her back.” Steve moving over to her hugging her to himself.

“She doesn’t want to come back.” His voice is low, sullen.

“Says who? Rumlow? And you are just what? Going to believe him?”

Steve holds up the note. “Did you read this?”

Natasha looking to the note then to him. “Yeah, I did.”

“Then you know she left of her own free will."

“Steve…you weren’t here with her before she left. She loves you!”

Steve’s fist hitting the dressing table hard. The blow cracking the table in several places. “This is my fault! I pushed her…I should have let her…” Steve feeling tears filling his eyes. “I should have let go of the past.”

“Steve…." trying to comfort him. “Did YOU read that note. She felt like she is doing what is best for you.” Steve looking up to Natasha, waiting for her to continue. “IF we should blame anyone, it’s TONY. HE is the one who, in her eyes, damaged her. She doesn’t feel like she is good enough for you, after what he did.”

“Natasha…” Steve sighs, fighting the tears. “We need to find her. I need to fix this.”

“Steve…I’m sure wherever she wanted to go. It definitely WASN’T with Rumlow.”


	18. Getting Acquainted

When you wake you can hear Rumlow talking to someone, someone who’s a voice you can’t hear. The only thing you can hear clearly is the last thing he says, “Did it ever occur to you that she WANTED to leave?” You immediately know who he’s talking to, and your heart sinks. He is right you did say you wanted to leave. Does this mean Steve won’t come to find you? You begin to panic. You start to look around the room. You seem to be in a low rate hotel room. Your hands are tied behind you and so are your feet. You can feel the ropes rubbing against your skin. The ropes are tight enough to keep you bound but loose enough to not cut into your skin. After a few moments of thought about your captivity. Wondering what is going to happen to you and your baby. Your thoughts are interrupted when you see the bathroom door opening.

***************************************************

“Cap, Director Pierce…” Rumlow stops speaking when he finds you standing in the lab with Tony. “Hello there…” His eyes landing on you.

“Hi.” You reply shyly. You are on a flying air carrier with Captain America and Tony Stark. You are trying to keep your excitement in check. This is the first step to a huge promotion within S.H.I.E.L.D, and fangirling over operatives is not going to get you anywhere.

“Rumlow this is Y/N. Y/N, Rumlow…he’s on my task force.” Steve nods sparing you both little more than a glance. “Rumlow, what do you have?”

“Well, I brought DNA samples of the compromised agents to Banner. He is running a cross-section match along with visuals for Barton. We will figure out where he is and what they are up to.”

“Thanks, Rumlow.” Steve answers, he smiles at you as you begin to gather up the files Steve was looking at. “Y/N, can you meet me in the conference room in 5 minutes please?” His hand brushing the top of yours briefly.

“Yes, I’ll be right there.” You respond and he smiles wider before leaving to find Tony and Banner.

“You and Cap?” Rumlow asks you

“What?” You spin almost dropping your files. Where you that obvious? Not that there is anything going on but you would be lying if you tried to deny your attraction to the man. “No…we…we just met.” You stammer hoping that this doesn’t cost you the possible promotion.

“So…are you seeing anyone?” Rumlow asks you.

“Umm…no.” you don’t like where this is going. You have no interest in Rumlow, but he is a high-ranking officer. Turning him down may cost you any chance of promotion if he decides to say negative things. You aren’t stupid, you know that being a female S.H.I.E.L.D agent is a rough road. You needed to watch yourself extra closely.

“So…when this is all over, what do ya say I take you out? Show ya around New York?”

“I…”

“I’m not taking no for an answer.” Your eyes go wide, you swallow hard.

“Ok…” You try to find a way to make it sound like you just wanted to think about it. “I guess a girl could use someone to show her around the city.”

“Perfect…” Rumlow smiles. His eye raking your body one more time. “I’ll call you in a few days.” He smiles leaving you standing there wondering what you just agreed to.

After the battle, Steve pushed for you to get a job on his task force in S.H.I.E.L.D. It was a bigger promotion than you expected. Steve reasoned with Fury that you were invaluable to him and so he allowed it. You begin working with him and the others at Stark tower. You were in Steve’s office going over cases that Fury sent over. You were helping Steve dole out assignments when your phone rings. Steve sees Rumlow’s picture pop up. You try to quickly answer before Steve can see but you are too late.

“Rumlow?” Steve asks you. You shrug your shoulders before answering

“Y/L/N…” you answer trying to make it look work-related. Steve watches you. You know he is listening.

“Hey…so how does Friday 8:00 sound.”

“Where are you taking me?” You ask him before you can realize that Steve is still watching. You quickly look at him and see his face. He looks angry for a moment before he busies himself with the file in front of him.

“Dinner…maybe a club.”

“I thought we were going sightseeing.” You reply trying to convince Rumlow to change his plans.

“Not this time sweetheart.” He answers back. “I’ll see you on Friday.” He says before hanging up. Effectively cutting off your protests. You place your phone back on the table, ashamed of what you have gotten yourself into.

“You have a date with Rumlow?” Steve asks you can hear the jealousy in his voice.

“I wouldn’t call…”

“Y/N…I heard what he said.” Steve points to his left ear.

“I…I just wanted to have lunch. I was scared that if I said no…”

“That you’d jeopardize your place?” Steve asks. You nod. Steve moves to the chair next to you. He wraps an arm around you. “I’ll help you.”

“How?” You turn to look at him. His face is full of concern.

“Well, I am good at covert ops. I was thinking I hang back and if things get uncomfortable.” Steve shifts a little closer. “Then I move in, act like I just happen to run into you.”

“Yeah…” you nod. “Yeah, that would be great.” You smile for the first time since Rumlow called.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are at the bar with Rumlow. Dinner went ok, he is a gentleman all through dinner. It isn’t until you get to the club that he starts to get a little handsy. It starts with him putting his hand a little too low on you back. It is only when he tries groping you on the dancefloor that you push him away. You turn away from him trying to leave. He grabs your arm and spins you around. When you are facing him, he pulls you in. “Where are you going sweetheart? I bought you dinner. Doesn’t that earn me a little something, something?”

“I’m tired.” You begin. You try to walk away again and Rumlow tightens his grip on you.

“But it’s early…” His breath against your ear. You start to struggle a bit before you feel a hand on your back. A slightly larger hand.

“I believe that the lady said she is ready to go home.” Steve’s voice comes from behind you.

“Hey Cap…When did you get here?” Rumlow looks to you. “This isn’t your usual scene.”

“Well, I guess I’m trying new things,” Steve replies firmly. “And since you don’t seem like you are ready to leave, I can take Y/N home for you.” Steve wraps his arm around your waist and guides you away from Rumlow. Rumlow watches you leaving with Steve.

Once you get into the car you sigh. “Thanks, Steve.”

“It’s okay. Rumlow is a good agent but his people skills are not so good.” Steve offers in way of explanation. “You know if you want a tour of New York, you could ask a native.” He looks over to you and smiles. “I’m sure he would be happy to help.”

You smile back at him, “Thanks, Steve.”

********************************************

You can’t help but smile at the memory. That was the first time Steve saved you from unwanted advances, this case, Rumlow. Rumlow was pissed when Steve whisked you away. You remember Rumlow not letting it go at that. He was on you since then showing up in odd places. You’d bump into him in the halls, in between meetings and a couple of times in the parking garage. He always asked if you were free for a second date, and you always gave him an excuse as to why you were not free. It wasn’t until he saw you going out to dinner with Steve that he confronted you.

You can’t help but wonder if this is why he’s doing this now. Some sick way of getting that second date he never had. Or maybe it is to pay back Steve for “stealing you out from under his nose.” Whatever the reason you are here now and you need to try to find a way to keep yourself alive.


	19. Changing Partners

“Steve…” Natasha says watching him pacing. “Y/N is going to be ok.”

“You don’t know that!” He shoots back at you. “Rumlow is a Hydra agent, and he knows how we operate. He was one of us once.”

“And he was into Y/N,” Natasha adds before realizing that it is probably not going to help. Steve spins on you face a mix of anger, fear, and worry.

“How could I forget.” Steve drops onto the overstuffed cream sofa in the newly remodeled common area. His mind regressing to the time he would rather forget.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Steve, it’s just a date.” Y/N scolding him as you try on different earrings.

“First it was Rumlow, and now TONY!”

“Tony is not a guy to settle with. You and I both know this, and it’s not like anyone else is asking…” He's too busy cursing at himself for not asking you on a date. Every time he gets close to asking you, someone always beats him to the punch.

“At least…just call me, when you get home. I need to know you are okay.” He resigns to his fate.

“Fine…” he can hear the smile in your voice. You are enjoying this. He studies you while your back is turned. He is jealous of these men who seem to have gained your attention. He knows that you are not truly interested in them, you have told him that. Still, he can’t help but worry that you might become interested in them. “I’ll call you when…” He can see you smile mischievously in the mirror smirk. “…I get home or Tony’s, depending on how good the night goes.” You smile. The flash of jealousy he immediately feels at your comment showing on his face. He begins to wonder if maybe Tony is going to actually get further.

You turn to him, then go to your closet to add a jacket to your dress. Steve begins to wonder again how long you plan on being out, with Tony, the one man that he actually feels threatened by. “How long do you plan on being out?” Steve can’t help but ask.

“Not sure.” Watching as you walk out the door, then quickly follows. He catches up to you placing a hand on your lower back. When the two of you reach the main living area he sees Rumlow and Hill. They seem to be discussing something. Rumlow looks up when he sees the two of you his eyes slowly running over your body, Steve can feel his nerves bristling at his attention. In pure instinct, he slides his arm around your waist.

“Cap…” Rumlow acknowledges Steve. His eyes glued to where his hand is hugging your side. “Y/N.” Rumlow’s eye moving to yours. “Where are you off to tonight?”

“OH, I don’t know…a little French cuisine and a moonlight stroll. Then maybe some expresso and croissants in the morning?” Tony finished as he moves across the room to your side. Steve glaring at the man who was taking you away from him. “Thanks for keeping an eye on her for me Cap,” Tony smirks as he wraps an arm around you. Tony quickly looks around the room at the audience before he looks to you. “Well, princess you ready?”

“Yeah…” Steve can feel you shifting away, to him. “Can you give me a second?” You say to Tony.

“Or course.” Tony’s voice is soft. Steve can tell you are already changing him, making him more compassionate. While Steve is focusing on these thoughts, you place your hand on his chest. Before Steve can respond Tony speaks up. “Hill, I assume you and Rumlow are not here for a social call?”

“Yes. Mr. Stark, we need to go over some schematics if you have a few moments?” Hill responds. Rumlow’s eyes are trained on Y/N the entire time.

Tony looks at you, raising an eyebrow in question. You nod before turning back to Steve. Steve watches you and when his eyes meet yours, he is lost. Everything fades as it always does when your eyes meet his. Tony and Hill begin to leave stopping in the doorway when they see that Rumlow is still standing in place. “Rumlow? You coming?” Hill calls out to him. Steve’s eye locking with Rumlow, his arms wrapping around you protectively. Tony sees this from the doorway and quirks an eyebrow. Steve sees this out of the corner of his eye before focusing fully on Rumlow.

“Yeah, I need a second, then I’ll be right there.” Hill nods, turning her attention to the tablet you are holding, as you begin to point out things to Tony. The two walk off into his lab. Rumlow and Steve watching them leave. Steve can feel you push into him as if you can hide inside him. “So, Y/N. Is this what it is? Is this why you won’t date me? I’m not a superhero?”

“Rumlow…” You turn in Steve’s arms. Steve feeling your hands pull them closer around you. He tightens his grip on you. “It’s not…I just don’t…”

“No…no…I get it.” Rumlow sighs. “I know what I need to do now.” He answers before walking away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve knew then that something about what Rumlow said was off. When it was discovered that Rumlow was Hydra and tried to kill them all, he thought that killing the avengers was what Rumlow was referring to. But now, now that he has taken you, now that the team knows about the secret experimentations that gave Wanda and Petro their abilities, this knowledge combined with the fact that the man is still alive. The only conclusion Steve can come to is that Rumlow is no longer human. But what exactly is he now?

“That’s it!” Steve cries out.

“What?” Natasha looking around the room for a clue as to what sparked Steve’s eureka moment.

“We need to search all of HYDRA’s abandoned human enhancement facilities.” Steve grabs up his tablets and begins punching the information in. “He’s holding her in one.”

“How do you know?" Natasha asks moving to grab your own tablet to start searching as well.

“I just do!” he replies. After a few moments, he smiles. “I have three possible locations.” Steve closes out and moves to get his gear. “Wheels up in five!” He calls over his shoulder as he heads down the hall.


	20. The Hunt

“Steve is going to find me.” You are trying to be strong, trying to hide your fears.

“Steve is going to try.” Rumlow gloats. “But thanks to my benefactor, Steve is going to be looking in all the wrong places.” He moves to sit by you. “In the meantime, I think you owe me…” His fingers trail up your arm.

“Don’t touch me” you quickly move away from him. Rolling over on the bed then THUMP! You fall onto the floor. The stain ridden, matted, avocado green carpet. not offering much to cushion the blow. You turn toward the bed, hoping maybe there would be a way to cut the restraints. Before you can look, you feel two hands grabbing your waist, pulling you up.

“Ok…if you keep doing that, we are going to have to tie you to the bed…” Rumlow beings, but your mind immediately flashes back to Tony and what he did to you. The tears begin to stream down your face. Rumlow running a thumb across your cheek, wiping away your tears. “Oh, come on now, soon you’ll be completely comfortable with me.” You cringe from his touch, but don’t try to move away. You don’t want a repeat of last time. Rumlow sighs and pulls away. “But for now…” Rumlow gets up, grabbing a bag off a table at the other side of the room. “Here, I got you some breakfast, in case you are hungry.”

You take the food from him; taking in a deep breath before looking into the bag, inside is a breakfast burrito. “Thanks.” You say weakly, and your stomach grumbles. 

He produces a small carton of Orange juice. “Here…I’ll be back in a bit.” He gives you one last look, then heads out the door of the room. The minute he’s gone, you try to open the door behind him, but it is locked tight. You look around the room, realizing for the first time, there are no windows, you aren’t in a hotel room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“I don’t understand!” Steve’s frustration evident in his voice. He punches the wall next to the counsel Nat is hacking. I was sure she’d be here. In one of these!” the team has been searching for you for two months now, with no trace of you.

“Steve…” Natasha’s voice is soft, concern filled.

“We need to look at other locations, maybe there are others that we don’t know about…” He begins pacing the floor. “We didn’t know they were part of SHIELD for decades…maybe they are using an old SHIELD base.” He says more to himself then anyone. His thoughts leading to determination. He spins on Nat. “You know all of SHIELDS secrets…are there any bases we don’t know about? Ones that have holding cells.”

“Steve!” Natasha is sterner this time, the tone and the fact that she is practically shouting at this point gets his attention. He turns to her. “You are not going to believe what I found.”

“Wha…” Steve leans over Nat’s shoulder, reading the screen. “Is there any way we can figure out who…?” He can’t even finish, the contents of the documents making his blood boil.

“Yes, but I thought he was dead.” Natasha points to the name at the bottom of the document.

“Arnim Zola.” Steve reads out loud. Closing his eyes, he thinks for a moment. “I think I may know someone who can find him.” Steve’s voice is low and thoughtful.

Natasha immediately knows who he is thinking of. “Steve…are you sure? He might be behind it?”

“If he is…” Steve breathes in. 'I’ll kill him if he is!' He thinks to himself before continuing. “He’s still the best person to find her.”


	21. The Plan

“He called…" "You said I would get more time! He is already tearing apart all the old Hydra bases. You said I would have time with her!” Rumlow’s anger filling his voice. His rage seething. He is trying not to be too direct. The man in front of him is dangerous, one wrong step and he’d be dead for good.

“Patience. You do have time. The Captain and his crew won’t find her for some time.”

“Then what?”

“Then…” The man leans forward a bit. "I eliminate the threat, and I take what is mine.”

Rumlow’s eye dropping to the floor. He is still unsure as to what the actual plan is, but as long as he can get a chance to spend time without you without Captain Wonderful around he’s in. He moves to go back to where they were keeping you but is stopped.

“Here. Take this.” Rumlow turns to see the man holding out a vile. “It should help in your efforts for a while.” Rumlow steps toward it taking it in his hand. “What does it do?” he studies the vile.

“It makes whoever has it more…pliable.”

“Oh…” Rumlow looking up at the man in surprise. “And how long does that last?”

A couple of days. Plenty of time for you to do what ya need.”

Rumlow nods slowly. “So when Cap makes an appearance?”

“I’ll see.” He motions to the wall of cameras behind him.

Rumlow nods again before leaving. Once he gets to the elevator, he begins to consider the vial in his hand. This is not how he wanted this to go. He wanted time to warm you up to him. He wanted time for you to see his charming side. He can be charming like Stark and Cap. He can give you protection and still give you the normality that the others cannot. The elevator dings and he gets in. Hitting the button for a sublevel and waits for the elevator to arrive on the floor you are on. Stepping off heading to your door. He pauses outside your room, giving his idea one last thought before he opens the door and steps inside.

You hear him enter the room. You get off the bed and walk over to him. “Rumlow, where am I? I know I am not in a hotel room.” You motion around the room. “No windows.”

“You’re right. You are in the basement of a building. I can’t tell you anything else.” Rumlow answers, trying to show compassion. He discreetly shoves the vial into his pocket. “Y/N, I…” His eyes dropdown. “I am sorry for all of this. It is not how I wanted it to go.”

“You have got to be kidding.” Y/N laughs sarcastically. “Are you apologizing for kidnapping me?” You quietly continue looking at him in disbelief.

“Yes…I mean no…” He sighs. I just wanted to get time alone with you.” He beings to pace. “You were mine, first. Before Cap and Stark got their hands on you. I just wanted you to see I am like them. I can be good for you.”

You burst into laughter until you see Rumlow’s expression darken. “I’m sorry.” You say trying to sound sincere.

“You don’t believe me.” His voice low and filled with disappointment. “I wanted to have time to show you I can be good.” He reaches out for your forearm. Gently grasping it leading you to a small well used loveseat. It is only then you notice the mini-fridge and television that are across the room from the door. He sits down, pulling you to sit down next to him. “I’ve arranged for a date. It will be here in a few hours. Nothing fancy just dinner. I also have your favorite movies streaming to the television. I thought after dinner we could watch the movies. Spend some time together. I want you to get to know the real me before our time is done. Before he comes and takes you to the labs.” Rumlow’s voice getting more excited as he continues. “I want to show you that I am a viable option before you make a choice you might regret.”

“Are you…are you threatening me?” You can’t help but feel as if he is telling you if you chose to stay with him you will be safe, but if you don’t, you might… You can’t even think.

“NO!” his abruptness pulling you from the nightmarish thoughts you are having. “I just want you to know there are more options. I want you to see I can be good before you make a choice.” He gets up and goes to the mini-fridge pulling out a soda. You watch him move to the table and hear the beverage pour it into a glass. While he is getting your drinks you reach for the remote for the television. Turning it on there is a menu with some of your favorite romantic comedies.

“So, I am getting the impression that you are not the ‘man with the plan’ here.” You are trying to get information out of Rumlow.

“No, I only got on board when I thought it would bring me closer to you.” He pauses for a moment. “I didn’t know what the whole plan was until after I brought you here.” He looks away from you. “I’m sorry.”

Your heart begins racing. You are, for the first time, genuinely scared. “What is the plan?” Rumlow can’t look at you, and that makes you realize it is bad.

“I…I can’t tell you everything, but I can say I thought the plan was to bring you here as bait for Cap., but there is more.”

“And you won’t tell me.” Your mind racing.

“I can’t…” Rumlow’s eye meeting yours. Then flicking to the mirror on the wall above the dresser. Your eyes settle on the mirror for a second, then back to him. Someone is watching.

“Can you at least tell me the timeline?”

“Cap is looking at old Hydra bases right now. It’s only a matter of time before he figures out we are not there.”

“WHERE are we?” Your voice raises. You cough a second, then take a sip of the soda Rumlow has given you to clear it up.

Rumlow smiles. “We are actually right under his nose.” He smiles back. “That is all I can say.”

You study him for a moment. Then turn away. “I can’t believe I ever allowed myself to be alone with you.” You spit out.

Ignoring you, Rumlow turns to the television. “I see you were looking at the movies. How about I pop some kernels and we watch one…to pass the time.” You watch him throw a bag of microwave popcorn into the microwave and hit a few buttons. You take another drink of your soda and resign to at least keeping busy with a movie. Maybe the distraction will give you time to figure out an escape plan. He has already told you, you are in a basement, which means a building. It’s not a hydra building, you’ve deduced since Steve is already looking into those. So, that leaves pretty much everything else. You sigh and take another drink of your soda.

Rumlow sitting down next to you. You take the popcorn bowl he is offering. “Did you pick one?”

“No…not yet.” You just randomly click on one. “We can start here.” You take another drink of your soda, followed by a handful of popcorn. Then lean back against the small sofa next to him.

He wraps his arm over the back of the sofa as the movie begins. His eyes dropping to the soda on the table next to you. He can see the condensation building. The can is half consumed. It won’t be long now.


	22. Unlikely Alliance

“Tony, he really needs your help. I wouldn’t be here if he didn’t.” Nat’s voice is soft but pleading.

“And he can’t ask me himself?” The pride rolling off him in waves.

“Tony…he can’t. He is…” Nat taking in a breath. “Tony, we lost a lot these last few weeks. Some more than others. Can’t we…” Natasha quiets. Her body attuned to the person entering Tony’s lab behind her and Tony.

“Nat. It’s okay. He’s right, I should ask myself.” Steve emerges beside her. Tony’s gaze turning on him. “Tony…I need your resources. I don’t know where she is and …”

“I do,” Tony replies simply. “And before I tell you, I want you to admit what you did!”

“What I did?!?”

“You took her from me!” Tony yells, anger consuming him.

“Tony…I.”

“Steve didn’t take her! You lost her!” Nat begins. “You cheated and lied and she...”

“Natasha!” Steve says loudly getting Natasha’s attention. She stops midsentence and stares. “We both lost her. And I was partially to blame for her leaving Tony.”

Steve’s gaze turning from Natasha to Tony. “I gave her an escape, instead of trying to help her and Tony stay together. I never told Tony how she felt, never told him she wanted to leave. I betrayed a friend for love. And I am sorry.”

A brief silence settles over the room. Steve’s eyes locking with Tony’s. After a moment, Tony turns away motioning to a nearby chair. Nat moving toward it, Steve remaining in place.

“You sure you want my help?” Tony asks. “I mean you sure I didn’t take her for myself?”

“Did you?” Steve answers.

“If I did. What would that get me?” Tony rebuts. “I already drove her away with my drunken antics.” He takes a long pull from his tumbler of whiskey before filling it again. “I drive everyone away with my drunken antics.” Repeats more to himself as if in thought. Taking in a deep sigh before continuing.

“I am pretty sure I know where she is.” Tony’s eyes are glistening with tears. “I wanted so much for you to pay for what you did…that I didn’t…I tried to convince myself that my instincts were wrong…but they are never wrong.”

Tony walks over to a table and picks up a tablet. “This is the information I have about a location I leased out recently. This may be where they are holding our girl.” Steve catches Tony’s eyes briefly, his disapproving look evident to everyone.

“SHE is not YOUR anything! When did you suspect she was there?” Steve grinds out. The situation making it harder and harder by the moment for him to keep his temper under control.

“Well, probably shortly after Vis told me Y/N left you at the altar.” Tony’s matter of fact, calm tone, bristling Steve to no end. Steve moving quickly grabbing Tony by the throat, slamming him to the table.

“If I ever see you near her…or ANYONE I care about again I WILL KILL you!” Steve letting go of his throat, before leaving the room. Natasha standing still in shock watching Steve leave.

“Tony…You’ve done some despicable things.” She looks down on at her hands. “We all have done things that we wish we could take back.” Looking back up to Tony, determination in her face. “But this…Steve will never forgive you! And the rest of us…I think that you need to take some time and figure out if there is any way you can redeem yourself to the team, to Steve, to Y/N, but most importantly to yourself.” Natasha moves a little closer to him standing almost chest to chest. “You have to live with yourself knowing, you pushed away the only family you will ever have.” With that, she turns and walks away.

Tony watches her leave. After he is sure she is gone, he picks up the phone and makes a call.


	23. The Rescue

The ringing phone wakes you. You reach over to grab it. You have been in this room for what you think has to be two months now. It has become familiar to you; you are almost comfortable. You fumble for your phone almost dropping it on the floor.

“Hello?”

“Hey sweetheart, I am getting breakfast. So blueberry bagel…or…are you feeling adventurous?”

“I am hardly adventurous lately.” You laugh. “…but what is the more adventurous choice?” you can’t help but giggle.

“There is a cranberry muffin…”

“Sold.” You instantly reply.

“Wow…no convincing needed. I am kind of jealous of that cranberry muffin.”

“Just bring me my muffin.” You say sweetly then hang up. You get up and quickly shower. Rumlow has told you that as soon as things calm down you can go home, and you trust him. There was a time when you didn’t and you know that. Somewhere inside, you can remember a different life, a life when you were with someone else, but it is a distant memory, more like an odd dream. You started to tell Brock about it once, but he seemed very upset about it, so you keep the dreams to yourself.

While you are toweling off you hear the door to your room open and close. You wrap the towel around yourself and step out into your room. You call out as you look up. “You had better gotten yourself something because you aren’t stealing part of my muffin again! You were lucky I di…” You stop mid-word. The man in your dreams. The one who you… ‘NO!’ Your mind screams at you. ‘That isn’t real this is!’ you move forward needing to find your phone, to call Brock.

“Y/n?” The man’s voice sounds unsure. You push past him and find your phone. You are about to call Brock but the man says something that causes you to freeze.

“Is the baby…our baby ok?” the man steps closer to you. ‘How did he know?’ you look at him as you finally find a seat on the end of the bed. ‘Wait! Our? That was in your dreams too. The baby, a wedding…then….oh god was it real?’ You decide to try out his name and see if that is right.

“Steve?”

“What did they…?” Steve steps forward and you cringe covering yourself more.

“They?” you ask, you feel a sinking pit in your stomach.

“Y/N…” Steve steps toward you this time not stopping when you cringe. “You were abducted. ON our wedding day. Do you remember that?” You start shaking your head, the memories of your dreams that you told no one start flooding back to you.

“Nooo!” you start crying harder tears falling. The reality mixing with the reality you believed until that moment. “Brock said…” you try to explain that it isn’t true. You have been with Brock all these years except the short time you cheated on him. That was how you became pregnant, but Brock forgave you. You were working it out.

Steve sits down next to you. “Y/N…what do you think happened to you?”

“I don’t know!?!” you began to cry harder. The confusion of the conflicting memories upsetting you.

“Steve?” you hear a female voice from the door. You can tell she is trying not to disturb the two of you. You look up at her and see another familiar face from your dream. “Rumlow isn’t telling us anything. I’m going to move him to hold on the compound…”

“Brock!” You cry out and Steve grabs you, pulling you to him. You struggle against Steve. Your mind telling you that if you can get to Brock, he will tell you what is going on. “Let go of me! What are you doing to him?!?”

“Steve?” The redhead woman looks at Steve. Your reaction confusing her. “What…”

“Can you give me a minute?” he looks at you. “Can you just sit here for a moment. I promise I’ll try to help you figure this out when I am back.”

You nod and watch as Steve follows the other woman out of your room leaving the door open behind them. You move to the door slowly waiting to hear them walk away enough. When You are satisfied, they are gone far enough you sneak out the door and head the other way. You need to find Brock.


	24. Abandoned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OK, I am back. Updates are going to be slow for this fiction from here on out. I apologize in advance, but my life has been insane. Been going through huge life changes and my desire to write is just now slowly coming back. For those of you who have read up to this point and continue reading THANK YOU for sticking with me. I hope we can finish out his ride together, I feel like the end is nigh!

“Y/N… I think…” Steve walks into the empty room. “Y/N?” he looks around, rushing out into the warehouse. “Natasha, she’s gone!”

“Steve…” Natasha says quietly. Steve senses the hesitation in her tone and looks to her.

“What?!?” frustration filling his head. He just cannot figure out what the hell is going on with you.

“We need to move…the jet is here.” 

“I am not leaving without Y/N.” Steve’s face telling her not to question it. “Go…I’ll come, I’ll be right there. After I find her.”

Natasha nods, leaving for the jet. Steve heads off in the other direction in search of you. It doesn’t take him long to find you. Without shoes, you don’t get far. After a few minutes of walking, he comes across you, sitting on a bus stop bench.

“Y/N…” He stops a few feet from you not wanting to scare you again. “It’s ok…I’m here.”

“He left me…” You sob, crying. “They both left me.” Steve steps close slowly, testing each step eventually sitting on the bench near you.

“I’m here, Natasha is waiting on the jet.” He answers.

“Not you!” Brock…and…. You stop yourself not wanting to give the other name.

“Y/N…he was holding you, prisoner.” Steve is unsure of what they have done to you. “Who else…who else are you hoping…” He pauses having a sinking feeling. “Who is the other person you were with back there.”

“It doesn’t matter, they’re gone now.” Steve studies you.

“Y/N…we...We should get you back to the compound, it's cold out here and you are barely dressed.” Steve reaches out for you and you cringe away for a moment. “It’s ok. I won’t hurt you.” Words he never thought he’d hear himself say to you. Reaching out in front of you holding your hands out as if waiting to be handcuffed. Steve sighs, “I’m not going to cuff you. You’re my finance! We would be married right now if…” Steve gets up moving over to you, seeing you not cringing or trying to leave this time. He gently picks you up in his arms carrying you back to the jet. “Baby, whatever they did to you well make it right, then they’ll pay.”

“Steve…?” Natasha, seeing Steve coming with you in his arms running down the ramp to meet both of you. “Is she…?” Natasha cannot bring herself to finish the statement.

“She’s alive.” He looks down in your arms, you are sleeping now. “They…she thinks she is with Rumlow…Natasha…she says he and someone else had her. She won’t tell me who.”

“Let’s get her to the med bay.” Natasha moves a stray hair from your face. “I think I know what they did to her.”

“Nat…”

“It’s the same things they did to me in the red room, drug you until the reality they want you to believe becomes your own.” Steve looks down at you in his arms, fearful of what reality you now believe.

“Steve, look at me…Steve…” Steve down does not move his gaze from you, lost in his mind. Nat slaps him hard across the face, jolting him. “Get her in the jet.” She puts a hand on his back guiding him inside. Steve refuses to let you go holding you the entire time until he gets you to the med bay. Laying you on the bed the doctors taking over, he is refusing to leave.

“Okay…We need to give these guys room to stabilize her, let them work Steve.” Natasha putting a hand on Steve’s arm.

“No… I need to know…”

“Steve…I can tell you, just give me a chance.” He turns to her, his eyes bloodshot. He nods. Letting her take him out of the room. They walk down the hallway to the kitchen Natasha putting on some tea. “This should calm your nerves she explains while she readies the kettle.”

Moving around, she sits next to him at the bar. “Steve, she should be fine. It may take a little bit for her to reject her new reality, but she should be fine. You will just need to subtlety reinforce that you are engaged. You need to start with little things, like your first date, or first kiss. Reliving those moments may jog memories.”

“So I am starting our relationship all over? What about the baby?”

“We’ll deal with that if we have to, the doctors are checking to make sure the baby wasn’t hurt by the drugs. Steve…do you love her?”

“Why are you even asking?!? Of course, I do!”

“Steve…whoever did this…whoever Rumlow was working with…we will need to find out so we can break this illusion. You will need to…” Natasha pausing choosing her words, making sure she gets her point over to Steve. “Whoever the other person is, we need to act indifferent. If we seem combative to her reality, it will make her defensive. She will close up and we won’t be able to help her.”

“Of course.” Steve readily agrees.

“Steve…” Natasha waits to make sure he is listening. “The person who did this is resourceful, they have access to SHIELD…well former SHIELD agents, and to fund the set up we found her in…”

“You think Tony is behind this.”

“It was very convenient for him to know exactly where she was…don't you think?”

“Son of a bitch!”

“Steve…”

“Nat, he is never going to let her go, is he?” Steve dropping his head shaking it in disbelief. “I was actually considering forgiving him. After everything, after Thanos…we need to unite. We need to get the team back, if for any reason to get the world back in order.”

“Steve, that would be great, but I know Tony. He is not one to give up easily.” Nat looks away, studying her hands briefly. “Steve, it may come to the point where we have to end him…permanently.”

“Nat…” Steve isn’t completely against the idea, but… “there has to be another solution. This is Tony we're talking about here.”

“Steve, I hate to admit it, but unless you can convince him to leave her alone, I don’t see one.”


	25. Memories

You wake, the brightness of the room making your eyes strain against the light. Taking a moment to let them adjust, you look around the room. You are in the medical bay at the compound. Looking over to the table next to your bed seeing nothing but flowers, just like the rest of the room and nothing more.

You want a phone, you want to call Tony, He needs to know that Rumlow is gone, abandoned his post. He needs to know that you are gone, that Steve has you. Trying to get up your head spins, so you lay back down. You hear loud beeping of a monitor and realizing you are connected to it, looking over you see two heartbeats on the monitor. You stare at it for a moment, grateful.

A few moments later you hear the door opening to your room. Looking over you hope, maybe, it is Tony. Maybe he got to Steve and he is the one who brought you here. It would explain all the flowers. Tony has always been a romantic, at least when it came to you. Your hops are dashes when you see Steve stepping inside.

“Hey baby, you’re awake.” You cringe pulling the covers up over yourself. “Hey, hey, I’m not going to hurt you. Y/N, I love you…I’d never hurt you.”

You can’t stop the sarcastic crazy laugh that comes from your lips. “You are insane if you think I’ll believe that.” Steve pauses, the hurt in his eyes evident. Seeing it confuses you for a moment. But then you clear your thoughts. “After everything you did…I should kill you where you stand!” Steve stepping back at your comment, eyes filling with tears.

“I’ll….I’ll…just go get Wanda…” Turning, he leaves your room. A few moments later there is a knock on the door and Wanda appears.

“Hey…you okay?” Seeing Wanda makes you smile, a sad smile.

“I missed you.” You say softly, happy to see Wanda after all this time.

“I missed you too.” She says walking over to you hugging you gently. 

“Where’s Tony?” you ask. “Why is Steve here? Wanda, why is everyone talking to him…after what he did?”

“Y/N…” Wanda says softly. She was told your memories were altered. She is not concerned as to how much. “ What did Steve do?”

“Wanda, didn’t anyone tell you?” You ask, fresh tears falling at the betrayal.

“Why don’t you tell me?” she asks sitting on the bed next to you.

“Wanda, he attacked me…” You take in a deep breath to keep yourself from breaking. “he raped me.”

Wanda studies you for a moment, confusion filling her mind. “Y/N…” she carefully chooses her next words. “Can I… Can I see?” She gestures to your head with her hands. “I just want to understand…”

You consider for a moment, is if there is one person, you’d trust with your inner thoughts besides Tony it would be Wanda. “Are you…” you begin to say. “You sure you want to…see that?”

“I need to understand…I want to help.” She answers. You look at her for another moment, before nodding in consent. She reaches her hands up, “Just think about everything that happened with you and Steve, not just that night but everything. It will help me understand if I see it all through your eyes.”

“Ok, just…I’m sorry.” You say closing your eyes relaxing back to the bed. Wanda hovering over you, resting a hand on your forehead. Within seconds she is transported into your mind, your memories.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

The first thing she sees is Steve’s room, his room here at the compound. He is there with you, you are on the bed together, you seem happy.

“Steve, the accords, I agree that they are not what we need, but Tony’s right. Maybe they can be changed, compromises can be made, later after the dust settles.”

“Baby, but what if it doesn’t, what if we sign ourselves over and we lose our abilities to choose, our abilities to protect. If the government controls us, they can keep us from saving people if the flag they fly is unfavorable in the political climate.” Steve says head dropping back to the pillow. “I’ve seen how absolute power corrupts; I can’t take that chance.”

“And…that is one of the things I admire about you, you hold strong to your convictions.” You say, sliding up kissing him softly. He kisses you back pulling you to him, onto him. You straddle him, deepening the kiss. His hands move up your thighs to your waist, moving to undo the robe when FRIDAY interrupts. 

“Ms. Y/L/N, Tony needs to see you, to confirm your dinner plans.”

“FRIDAY, tell him I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

You mind seems to fast-forward, quickly going through events, dinner with Tony, heading back to the compound. Then your mind slows again. Wanda seeing you and Tony by the pool enjoying drinks.

“Y/N, the accords are going to be ratified next week, we are all going to have to sign them. I know some of us won’t.” Tony begins. You nod in agreement. “I also know hat you are not sure where your allegiance lies.”

“Tony…” You try to convince him otherwise but stop when he holds a hand up to you.

“I know about you and Steve.”

“Tony…”

“Shhh…” Tony says. “But I know that you love me.” Tony continues. Moving from his seat at the table over to kneeling in front of you. “Y/N, I know I am not perfect, far from it actually.” You chuckle. “But I also know that you make me a better man. The man I want to be, I need to be.” He pulls a turquoise ring box from his pocket. You instantly recognize it as being from Tiffany’s. “Y/N, Princess…my soul, will you marry me?”

“Yes!” you are instantly in his arms. Kissing him deeply, passionately.

‘No…no, no, no, no…’ Wanda is thinking. This is not what happened. ‘What did he do?’ Suddenly your memories are shifting again. Moving onto a different one.

“Steve, I’m so sorry. I know what I said, but I chose Tony. I love him and he asked me to marry him.”

“Y/N…” The disappointment in Steve’s voice evident.

“And I said yes…. Steve, we need to keep the team together. This…the wedding. It will be a chance to get us together, to show how we can be happy under the accords.”

“Is this you or Tony talking?” Steve's voice becoming venomous. He moves toward you, grabbing your forearms tightly. “What does he have on you, what is he doing, to make you stay with him?”

You try to pull away. “Steve nothing, he did nothing! I love him. I’m sorry, I lead you on. I…” You don’t finish before Steve crushes his mouth to yours. Pulling you tightly to him. You struggle for a moment before giving in to him, the kiss forced but still causing your core to stir to life. When he pulls back, you start to back away. Moving away from him slowly. Steve is on you quickly.

“Where are you going in such a hurry? Back to him?” Steve has his arms around you, pushing you into the door, subsequently closing it with you back against it.

“Steve…I…” Your body reacting to him. Your mind telling you to fight it.

“Does he know? About us?” Fear in your eyes telling him Tony does not. “That’s what I thought! Maybe I should tell Tony what his little princess has been doing on a mission and while he is away at conferences, or WHO she’s been doing.” His hurt turning to anger. “Or…” he whispers against your ear. “You can give me what I want, and we can just pretend this little conversation never happened?” his lips ghosting wet kisses down your neck. “Stay here with me, tonight. And I won’t have to tell him about his princesses’ indiscretions.” His teeth nibbling your ear for a moment, eliciting a tingling in your core.

“Steve…I’m engaged…”

“Wrong Answer!” Steve growls. Grabbing you throwing you across the room to his bed. Your climb up using to bed for leverage to get up to your feet. Before you can take a step, he is on you. Ripping the t-shirt from your body, just as quickly pulling you sleep shorts from you as well.

“Steve…Stop!”

“Why? You never wanted me to stop before!” Steve says throwing you to the bed climbing onto you.

Wanda pulls her hands away, not wanting to see more. “Y/N…”

“Now you see why I can’t…Steve…did that to me.” Tears are filling your eyes. “I loved him once…but after that. That day…he destroyed anything I felt for him.” Wonda pulls you into her arms, tears of her own falling. The reality Tony implanted in you, the fact that he literally swapped places in your life with Steve, her heart ached for you.

“Y/N, are you? What else do you remember?”

“ Well, Tony and I got married just a couple weeks ago, but the threats that Steve has made against our honeymoon. We had to alter the plans. Rumlow was sweet enough to watch over me while Tony hunted Steve down, but Steve found me first.”

Wanda looks around the room, seeing the monitors for you and the baby, she asks one more question. “You know you are pregnant right?”

You look at her confused. “Well, of course, it’s why Tony proposed, well part of the reason. He says our baby needed to father, and well he wanted to have the wedding before I begin to show,” You smile. “He was worried the press would create a lot of unsavory stories about me, if Tony and I were unwed. Wanda taking all this information in, trying to keep a straight face.

“Oh, honey…” She holds you while you cry into her. “Maybe you should get some rest. Are you hungry? Can I get you something to eat?”

At the mention of food your stomach growls. “Yeah, that would be great.”

Wanda nods. “I’ll be back in a few.” She smiles getting up walking to the door. “get some rest, Y/N, you’ve been through a lot.” She quietly slips out the door. You roll over on to your side taking in the vases of flowers cluttering your room.

“Steve…” Wanda says softly to him, he is standing outside your door waiting to see what Wanda finds out. “It is worse than we thought.”

“How bad? Does she even remember me?”

“That is actually the problem,” Wanda says motioning for Steve to follow her. “Where is everyone else.”

“Sitting in the waiting room, they wanted to give us some space.”

“Well, we need a new plan.” Wanda exhales turning into the waiting room.

“Nat she isn’t drugged. It’s worse.”

“How much worse?”

“Tony manipulated her memories…she honestly believes that everything Tony did to her, was someone else.” Wanda finishes looking at Steve. “She thinks it was all you.”

“Боже мой,” Nat says.

“What do you mean, she thinks it was me?”

“Well, she let me peek into her mind.” Wanda begins. “And well, Tony must have rewritten her memories, because…” Wanda, giving Steve and apologetic look continuing, “She thinks she is engaged to Tony.” Steve head jerks to face Wanda.

“And the…” Steve starts.

“All of it…” Wanda tries to clarify. Seeing Steve’s disbelief, she decides to put it into words. “The wedding, she believes she married Tony that day, she thinks you baby is his…and…” Wanda can’t even finish. But she doesn’t have to.

“Son of a bitch!” Steve utters.

“Steve, we’ll fix this!”

“HOW Natasha?!?” Steve taking in a deep breath calming himself. “You now who wot scrub someone’s mind, cause if you do, we could have used that when we were trying to save Bucky!”

“Steve!...” Wanda speaks up. “How do you think I found the memories to begin with?” Steve spinning on Wanda. “ I can remove the altered memories. It will take time, though. They are deeply implanted.”

“DO IT!” Steve says. “I want my fiancé back!”

“Steve…” It is Natasha’s turn to try to calm Steve. “She may need you to help reinforce the recovered memories. “We will need to convince her that the new memories she is experiencing are real.”

“Fine! I will do whatever I need to, I will get her back.” Steve grunts. Giving the two women a fierce, determined look. “Then I am going to kill Tony.” His last words hanging in the air as he leaves the waiting room to talk to you.


	26. Painful Recall

Standing in your doorway, he has a tray of some of your favorite foods on it. “Y/N…I have some food for you.” You roll onto your back, seeing him in the doorway. “Can I come in?”

“Do I have a choice?” you spit back at him.

“Y/N…you always have a choice,” Steve says stepping just inside the door. “I will never force you to do anything,” Steve says softly.

You laugh hysterically. “Oh? So you think you didn’t force me to have sex with you, the night I got engaged to Tony?”

“I…” Steve wants to tell her the truth, but if he does, she’ll close herself off from him. “Whatever happened in the past, I promise I am not that person now.” He says trying to avoid the truth.

“Hmmphhfff.” You feel your stomach growling. “I am hungry.” You surrender yourself to the hunger. “You can come in.”

Steve steps in slowly, bringing your food, setting in on the overbed table rolling it over to you. You watch him carefully; he is not the same man. You can see that. His presence feels different, he is not threatening to you. He is leaning over you, adjusting the height of the overbed table to make it more comfortable for you. You feel drawn to him like he is the essence of safety. You quickly push it away.

“Thank you.” You say to him, eyes not meeting his, you cannot do that. Not yet. You start picking at the eggs on the tray with your fork. You quickly realize there is enough food there for three very hungry people. “Did you…?” You gesture to the food. “Wanna share with me, there is no way I can eat this much, even if I am two.” You try to smile at him, managing it better than you expected to.

“You need to eat,” Steve says a hint of hope in his voice, glad you are extending any invitation.

“Steve…” You say to him. “I can’t eat even half of this. It’s okay.” You encourage him. “Just don’t eat all my melon pieces, baby ahs a sweet craving this morning.” You joke. Surprised at how relaxed you feel with him.

“I’ll grab another fork.” He smiles stepping out of your room for a moment. You smile. You cannot imagine that this is the same man who raped you 2 years ago. You feel so comfortable with him. You poke at your food and realize that you are missing him, so part of you is excited for him to come back.

When he steps back into the room, he has a couple of glasses, a fork and a pitcher of juice. “I thought maybe, you said the baby is craving sweets, I thought.” You smile holding out a glass, he fills it than his own. You watch him set the pitcher down on the stand. He stands awkwardly by your side while you start showing on some eggs. You look at him curiously realizing that he is unsure what to do. 

This shy awkward Steve, reminding you of the Steve you knew, the one that you were falling for all those years back, the shy, socially awkward Steve. You decide to put him out of his misery. Moving over a bit you pat the bed next to you. “Sit.” You say to him. 

He takes s step forward then stops. “Are you sure? I don’t…”

“Steve, come on, you’re making me feel weird standing there, staring at me. I feel like a rare zoo exhibit.” You chuckle. “Sit eat, maybe watch something on the television there. I could use the company.”

Steve moves over slowly trying to keep from gaining hope that you are recovering your reality. He carefully sits on the bed, feet still on the floor. You resume eating, silence forming between the two of you. Steve is unsure what to say to you and you are unsure what you want to say. Finally, settling on an idle conversation.

“So…how have you been?” you ask taking a bite of your food.

“I…honestly.” He can’t lie to you. “I’ve been worried about you.”

“Why? I am fine, or I was…I was with Tony. Well, Rumlow…he’s been watching over me, Tony’s been…busy.”

“Some things never change…” Steve whispers to himself. Then he realizes that the other half of your statement. “You have been staying with Rumlow?”

You feel guilty as if admitting it is something bad. Rumlow did kiss you a couple of times but you never let it go further, you just didn’t feel that way for him. “Yes, …he was watching over me while Tony was gone, keeping me safe.”

Steve cannot even begin to understand how you would feel Rumlow is safe. “I will always worry about you, and the baby.”

“But…You…” you cannot comprehend who this man is. The Steve you watched leave when you chose Tony was bitter and full of rage. After the accords, the forced sex he blackmailed from you, he just disappeared, with Bucky, Natasha and Sam. ‘Oh God…Bucky and Sam…’ Tony had told you they were lost in the snap. “Steve. I’m sorry about Bucky and Sam.” You feel tears falling as if the loss was fresh and not months old. You reach out for Steve, offering him comfort, wanting comfort from him.

He pulls you into his arms holding you as your tears fall. “Shhh….we’ve all lost.” He says. “I lost Peggy, Bucky…” ‘you’ he wasn’t to say, “everyone can go at any time.” He glossy, tear-filled eyes locking with yours. You can see he is hurting, he is still suffering, he has lost something deeper, more meaningful then friends.

“Steve, I’m sorry…” You run your hand over his jaw. The touch feeling more intimate than you ever thought it could be. The touch stirring feelings in you. You close your eyes, and images fill your mind, of Steve lying it a hospital bed with you, this bed. His expression happier, you were happier. You feel safe there.

“Yes…I lost…we lost a lot…we lost our family, our friends. It showed me, again, that nothing is guaranteed.” His words jarring you, you’ve heard them before.

“Steve…you ever get the feeling of déjà vu?” you ask pulling back from him slightly. He lets you fall back onto the bed climbing completely onto the bed next to you.

“Not really, but I do sometimes feel like I am repeating my past a lot.” He says, a frown on his face, thinking about how he is going to have to win you over again.

“I feel like we’ve been here before in this exact place, in this exact bed.” You look around again. “I feel safe with you, I shouldn’t, not after…” Your thoughts going back to what Steve did. They feel different now, those memories, less traumatic. “I feel like we…” You look up at him, into his eyes. “Did you really love me? Once?” Asking him, needing to know.

Steve taking a deep breath, this is getting painful, he can’t hold back, but he can’t tell you that your reality is wrong. Deciding to go with simplicity and let you gradually figure out the falsehood on your own. “Yes, I do. I have since the day you walked into that recovering room back in New York. I thought you were an angel.” He pauses, considering his words carefully, “It took me 2 years to realize it, not until you helped me get Bucky back.”

You look at him confused, “Steve…I didn’t…” You start to wonder, bits are shuffling inside you flashes, “Natasha helped you with Bucky…” Suddenly you see yourself, kissing Steve, on an escalator, hiding yourselves from Rumlow. You are running from him, from Hydra. Rumlow is Hydra. “Steve…” Your head beginning to hurt, conflicting memories flooding it.

“You were there…you helped me. Hydra…was using Bucky.” Steve starting to sound hopeful. 

“Rumlow…” You feel anger at his name. “Rumlow is Hydra?” You start to cry. Tony left you with a Hydra agent. Why didn’t you remember, why didn’t Tony know? None of this makes any sense. “Steve…is that why you left? Is Tony? Is he Hydra?”

Steve tenses, he had never thought of that. Had Tony become corrupt since the accords? It would explain his working with Rumlow. Steve pushing that information aside. Right now, wanting to focus on getting you back and nothing else. “No, Y/N, I left because of the accords, and because of us. Tony…” ‘He was hurting because you chose me.’ Is what he wants to say but has to wait for you to remember. “Tony was angry with Bucky, because of what Bucky did to his parents. I couldn’t leave him alone, so I left with him. Even if we wanted to stay, the accords. Not signing them made me a criminal. I would have been on the run constantly, that is not the life…” ‘you wanted.’ He wants to say but doesn’t.

“I remember Tony was tasked with hunting you down, after the attack on the UN council meeting. Everyone thought Bucky had done it, but not you.” Suddenly, you see yourself by an old blue beetle, kissing Steve while Bucky and Sam watch, nodding in approval. “Steve, did you escape in a blue car?”

“Yes, you set us up with our gear and a car.” Steve’s hopes rising. You are remembering.

“I couldn’t have…I was in New York. I was overseeing the new renovations on the compound.” Your head beginning to hurt, conflicting memories flooding it. “Steve…” You start to feel light-headed. Your reach out for Steve out of instinct. He pulls you to him hitting the call button. 

“Baby, stay with me…come’ on…I ‘ve got you. I’ve always got you.”

“Steve…I…why do I remember…I don‘t know what’s real.”

“I’m real baby, I’m here…stay with me, focus on me!” The alarms on the monitors start sounding, your blood pressure dropping, heart racing. “DAMMIT!!! SOMEONE GET IN HER NOW!” you hear Tony yelling as you fade away.


	27. Lost Love***

“How long is Tony going to be gone for this time,” Steve asks, you continue kissing up his chest, worshiping every inch.

“He said three days so probably a week. Why?” you hum when his hand grabs on to your ass, giving it a soft squeeze.

“I was hoping to steal you away for a couple of days, take you somewhere…”

“Mmm,” You are slowly kissing up his neck nibbling on his ear. “Less talking, more me time.” You whisper against his ear before sucking the lobe in between your lips, getting a moan from him.

“Y/N…” His hands sliding up your sides, tangling in your hair, pulling you in his lips capturing them in a deep kiss. “You are insatiable.” He whispers before recapturing your lips in another deep kiss. You shift over top of him, rubbing your core down onto him.

“You love it, otherwise you would have drug me out with Bucky, Sama, and Nat to the game.” You tease him further, rubbing your core slowly over his erection.

Steve growls hands grabbing your hips holding you to him. “You think your cute, teasing me?” he moans, rubbing you against him harder.

“Um-hmm” you nod, feeling pleased with how much you can make him need you. Then you cry out in surprise, as he suddenly flips you onto your back.

“Two can play at that game little girl.” Steve claiming your lips while his hand moves down your side, caressing your hip before moving to your core. He begins massaging you lightly, you buck your hips up. “No…you are not obeying the rules…” He whispers against your cheek. Then begins kissing down your neck. “You tease me…” his lips reaching your breast nipping and suckling on your nipple. “turning me on…” His lips moving to the other breast giving it the same treatment. “…getting me hard.” His tongue starting at trail further down, leaving random kisses as he goes. “Now it’s my turn to turn the favor.” His voice getting husky moving to delve inside you. His tongue lapping at your entrance, before sliding inside.

“Steve…fuck…” You struggle, trying to find purchase on something, the sheets work momentarily but they are not enough, you reach out grabbing his shoulders then his hair.

“Hmmm.” He mumbles the vibrations moving through you. He quickly moves his thumb to your clit, rubbing it gently. Pulling his tongue out he inserts a finger, sliding it in and out slowly. His lips moving back up your body, reaching your neck, nibbling the sensitive skin below your ear. 

You can feel your orgasm forming deep inside you. “Steve, please… I need more…”

“Uh-huh…I know…” He groans against your neck. “It's like an ache…right…” Steve whispers a trying to hold back the chuckle.

“Steve…stop teasing me. I give….” You moan. 

“Oh, little girl…I think you know what I need to hear.” Steve says eyes meeting yours. The fingers at your core slowing even more.

“Please, baby…I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what,” his voice a near growl at your ear.

“Sorry for teasing you, I need you…please…Steve!”

“Ok…princess.” Steve pulling his fingers from you. “I’ve got you.” Steve lines himself up with you pushing into you slowly.

“Yes…God! Baby…. you feel so….hmmm.” he stops moving into you only when he is fully inside of you.

“Baby you are so tight, God you feel so good.” He moans, sliding out partially but moving back in slightly faster this time. His movements finding a slow even pace. His hands moving to the sides of your face his lips find in yours. His kiss is soft and loving. His movements like a dance, pulling you close to him, all of your body pressing against his. You gently wrap your legs up around his waist. Pulling him in closer, he cannot feel close enough to you. 

The two of you get lost in each other, the way his body makes you feel, the way having him inside you makes you feel complete. Soon you are crying out for him. “Steve…I’m close…baby…”

“I know baby…me too…oh god…. Just a little….” His lips claiming yours in a passionate heat filled kiss. Within seconds, you are both lost to the bliss of lovemaking. Steve working the two of you through your releases. He collapses onto you, you pull him into you, holding him to you as if he is your life. After a few moments, he rolls to the side pulling you with him. The two of you laying in silence for a moment as you trace the lines of his muscled chest.

“Where did you want to go?” You ask softly, breaking the silence. 

“Somewhere special, it’s a surprise.”

Steve turning looking at you, his hand slowly moving over your side. You lean into him, the feeling of his caress calming you, the effect has touched has on you is hypnotizing. You begin feeling him slipping from you, his touch becoming less real. You reach for him, but your hand moves right through him as if he’s a ghost. “Steve…” you call to him; you see him saying something but hear nothing. Panicking you try calling to him again louder this time. “STEVE… don't go!!” You cry out. 

“Y/N…It’s okay.” Steve pulls you into him. “It’s okay I’m right here.” He runs his hand over your hair. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Steve?” You are disorientated from sleep. You pull him to you, glad to feel that he is real, solid. “You were…we…then you…” You start to cry.

“Y/N…It’s okay. You were dreaming…”

“I…I was…” You try to control your sobs. “I had a memory.” You gain control breathing deeply. “At least, I think it was real. We were in a room; I think it was yours.” You begin. “We were…” You blush, looking at Steve. Steve studying your expression, quickly understanding what you are hinting at. 

“Huh…oh….” Steve blushes, seeing his face turning pink making you chuckle. You realize you’ve never talked about your dreams with anyone before, but with Steve, it is comfortable, familiar. You clear your throat.

“Anyway, Tony was gone, at a conference, and we were…in bed…together.” You shift slightly. “You wanted to take me somewhere…you wouldn’t say where, but you said it was a surprise. Somewhere special.”

“I remember… I took you to Brooklyn Botanical Garden.”

“Brooklyn Botanical Garden …why is that special to you?”

“Well…I told myself when I was a kid…that if I ever found a girl. One that I thought was special. I would take her there.” Steve sighs, remembering telling you this before. “My father proposed to my mother there…” He cannot finish.

“Oh…Steve…is that???”

“No…I wanted to but, no…after the…It was closed….” But I did in a simulation of the Garden…” he smiles at that memory.

“Did I say yes?”

“Yes, you did,” Steve says softly taking your hand. “And that is the night we conceived this little one,” Steve says placing a hand on your belly.

“My baby…he’s yours?”

“Yes… he is.” Steve says, keeping an even tone. Knowing that the reality you know is very different. That reality, whenever Steve thinks about it, pushes him into an internal murderous rage.

“Steve…were we happy?”

“Oh…baby, yes! God, yes! You made me that happiest man alive.” Looking at him you can see it is true, and a part of you wants to do that again. You want to make this man happy.

“Steve, tell me more…about us.”


	28. Reality Recall

“Do you think they’ll be able to figure things out?” Natasha asks Wanda, before taking a bite of her candy bar.

“I think so.” Wanda considers this for a moment. “She seems to want to. She asked about their life together when I was with her.” Wanda smiles, thinking back on the conversation.

***************************************** 

“We are friends, right?” You ask Wanda.

“Yes, we are,” Wanda responds keeping a distance so as not to upset you. “Best friends.” She smiles at you.

“So you know me…I mean you know me well enough to know about everything. I am so confused. Was I ever with Tony?”

Wanda takes in a sigh, pulling a chair up to the bed. “You were…for a couple of years. For the first year I wasn’t around. I hadn’t met you yet, but I was told that you were happy…then…but when I met you…Tony was. Well, you were thinking of leaving him, you and Steve were…having an affair.”

“I was CHEATING! On Tony?!?” You cannot believe it. “With Steve?” You cannot believe any of it.

“Y/N…Tony, he was very unfaithful to you and was not shy about it.”

“Wanda…” you chuckle nervously. “Tony would never…he loves me.”

“Y/N…” Wanda can feel the tears forming in her eyes. She did not want to hurt you, but you need to know the truth. “That is true. I do think that in his way. Tony loves you, but Y/N… You don’t love him. You fell in love with Steve, you told me as much.”

“But…I’m married to Tony.”

“No…you’re not…” Wanda shifts uncomfortably. “You were…you were going to marry Steve.”

“WHAT?” You can’t believe this. Wanda studies your reaction.

“Here…let me.” She leans forward and you pull away from her.

“What are you trying to do?” 

She pulls back, looking you over. “I was going to try to restore some of your memories.”

“I think enough people have already messed with my head. If what you are saying is true.”

“Y/N, don’t you want to know? At least let me straighten out what you already can see for yourself.”

“Fine…” You close your eyes. A warmth coming over your mind, followed by a sudden clarity. Wanda pulls back examining you.

“Better?” you nod, feeling an overwhelming need to be with Steve.

“Can you send Steve in?” You ask studying your hands in shame. “I think we have a lot to talk about.”

Wanda smiles nodding. “Yes, I can do that.”

*****************************************  
“Baby, what do you want to know? I don’t want to overwhelm you.”

“Um…Well, I remember some things…I think Tony only changed things at a certain point. How about I start by telling you what I think is real and you tell me what is wrong as we go?”

“Are you sure? I mean you trust me?”

“Is there a reason I shouldn’t?”

“No…” Steve distracts himself with your blanket, tracing the patterned fabric with his fingertips. “I just, my viewpoint maybe a little…Tony is not exactly the man I thought he was.”

“Steve, you are the only person who I seem to remember wrong. And if you are the only one who remembers Tony the way I remember Tony, you may be the only person who understands.”

“Y/N… I…” He wants to say, ‘I can’t paint that man in a good light, not after what he did to you, to us.’ But he doesn’t, he can’t. “I’ll try.” He answers instead. He begins by telling you about your first night together, the first time you made love. Then he tells you about the day you and he got engaged and how you announced the engagement and the baby to the group, the day Tony returned. You listen as he talks, the way he describes the events, the love in his voice, the hurt in his eyes. You feel so much hurt for him. You listen as he talks of your time with him, of all the happiness you shared. Some o the memories triggering memories of your own. Some remain a mystery, but overall you remember enough to know that you loved this man deeply, and you feel a part of you still does.

“Steve…I’m so sorry.” You feel your eyes feeling with tears. “You lost so much.” You run you hand over his cheek. “You lost everything because of Tony.” You consider this for a moment. “Why did I choose Tony over you?”

“Baby, we weren’t so opposite back then. Tony and I…well we didn’t get along when we first met, I found him to be arrogant and selfish, but then I got to see another side of him. He is cunning, smart and when the time comes, he would give his life for those he loves.”

You chuckle. “That does sound like Tony.” You feel Steve stiffen at your reaction. You look at him for a moment. “Steve…I feel like there is something you aren’t telling me?”

Taking in a deep breath, “No baby, it’s just hard for me to hear you talk about Tony, so carefree like this, after what he did?”

“Steve I know he took my memories away, but it’s over now. I’m here with you. And I am beginning to remember. Wanda says I will probably get all my memories back eventually. But the more we talk about them, the more I can remember.”

“I know…” Steve fighting to maintain his frustration. “That is what I am afraid of.”

“Why?”

“Because there are some things, I believe are best left forgotten?” You look at him, there is something different there. It goes beyond hurt and heartache, it is more primal, and it scares you.

“Steve…did something happen, between us?” You ask, not sure if you even want to know.

Steve looks into your eyes. “No…I…the only thing I did wrong was not protecting you as I should have.” You nod, you can see he is holding something back, but his words ring true.

“Ok…” You remain quiet, snuggling into his arms more. “Tell me about…when we first met…no…wait…when did we first admit our feelings for each other.

“Oh…now there is a loaded question…” Steve smiles at you. 

“Why?”

“Well…because…I cared for you the first moment I saw you…but you…you were a tough nut to crack, and I am not the most confident person in matters of the heart."


	29. Into The Rabbit Hole

We were working for S.H.I.E.L.D. You and I had become good friends since the attack on New York, and we often were paired for a mission. You would get intel and I was there, mostly to take out the hostiles, but I also watched your back. The mission was the start of a chain of events revealing S.H.I.E.L.D’s Hydra corruption.

“Steve, I know about that I'm so sorry your team was compromised, Brock told me he was a surprised as you were.” 

“Y/N…” Steve pauses looking at you. “Brock is Hydra…or at least he was up until I thought I killed him.

“You killed Brock?!?” You feel your heart racing.

“I thought I did…but…that man is like a cockroach…” His voice trails off. You study him for a moment. Wondering if you should ask him about that. Your memories are the opposite. Your memories of Brock were that you were having an on-again, off-again affair. One that you rekindled when you got stuck in that hotel. The hotel Tony told you to stay in because Hydra was hunting you because of your friendship with Natasha and Steve.

“Steve…I…” You stop deciding to rephrase your response into a question. “Was there ever…did I ever have a relationship with Rumlow?”

Steve’s brow arcs at the question. “I am not sure I would call it a relationship. He was VERY interested in you, but…” 

“I wasn’t interested in him?” you consider this for a moment, your attraction to him felt real enough to you. 

“…your interests were directed elsewhere.”

“Oh…” you smile, running your hand down his chest. “Sooo, poor Brock lost out to you?”

“Actually, you started dating Tony.”

“Really? It seems…too much like what I remember. I went on about 4 or 5 dates with Brock, but Tony, well he kind of swept me off my feet.” You smile remembering the impromptu date, breakfast in Paris, dinner in Italy, watching the sunrise in Fiji. The trip was so romantic, and he was such a gentleman, you could nth el but fall for him.

“You went on one date with Rumlow. It was so bad you called me to bail you out. I had to come to rescue you from him, literally.” Steve pauses thinking of the rest of what you said then decides to correct you. “I took you home that night. We had coffee and talked. It was the first time that we spent any time alone, it was nice.”

“We just had coffee? Was I too drunk? Or too sober?”

Steve chuckles. “I was too scared…”

“Really?” you can’t believe what he is telling you. “You…scared? Steve, you are one of the bravest people I know.”

“Yeah…sure give me a target…an enemy and I’m your guy. But put me in front of a woman…and I turn into that punk kid from Brooklyn.”

“So what happened?”

“Well…”

******************************************** 

Steve enters the club and sees you on the dance floor with Rumlow. You look really uncomfortable, while Rumlow is running his hands over your waist to your ass. When his hands reach there you quickly move them and pull back a bit. You motion something that looks like you are going to get a drink when Rumlow pulls you back into him, leaning down whispering something into your ear. You visibly struggle to get away from him again, this time Steve decides to step in.

I believe that the lady said she is ready to go home.” Steve’s voice comes from behind you.

“Hey Cap…When did you get here?” Rumlow looks to you. “This isn’t your usual scene.”

“Well, I guess I’m trying new things,” Steve replies firmly. “And since you don’t seem like you are ready to leave, I can take Y/N home for you.” Steve wraps his arm around your waist, guiding you away from Rumlow. Rumlow watching you leaving with Steve.

Steve enjoying the feeling of you leaning into him. He can tell obviously you are seriously inebriated from the way you are using him to walk. He wraps an arm around you and gives 

Rumlow a last glance, his eyes meeting very angry brown ones. Steve knows at that moment that Rumlow was going to hold this grudge for some time.

Once you get into the car you sigh. “Thanks, Steve.”

“It’s okay. Rumlow is a good agent, but his people skills are not so good.” Steve offering in way of explanation. “You know…if you want a tour of New York, you could ask a native.”  
He looks over to you, smiling. “I would be happy to help.”

You smile back at him, “Thanks, Steve.” You wonder if he is asking you on a date, but can’t be sure. You are getting mixed signals from him. Just when you think he is showing an interest, he turns cold on you.

When you get to your apartment you decide to try your luck, the alcohol you consumed earlier giving you the courage you need. “Did you want to come in…maybe for a drink…or…you trip trying to get out of his car. He grabs you around your waist steadying you.

“How ‘bout I help you get inside.” You smile and nod. It’s a start.

You fumble with the keys to your apartment door twice before he takes them from you unlocking the door for you. You stride in concentrating on your balance. Once inside you drop onto the sofa with a huff, kicking off your heels. You begin to unzip your dress when you hear Steve clearing his throat reminding you that he is there.

“Oh could you help me with his zipper…pleeeaasse?” you ask him. Steve blushes but helps you with the zipper. His hands are calloused but gentle as the move the zipper down your back.

“Th…” he clears his throat. “There…” he steps back. Without hesitation, you drop the dress to your ankles and step out of it.

“Finally, Freedom…” you giggle. Turning to see the expression on Steve’s face you smile. “I’ll go get something else on. “Beers in the fridge and there’s a bottle of vodka in the freezer. Or if you prefer the coffee maker is on the counter and the coffee is in the canister next to it. With that, you leave to go change into some short, knit shorts and cami.  
Steve quickly begins brewing coffee. Alcohol has no effect on him and well you obviously don’t need anymore. Once the coffee is brewing, he turns seeing you coming out of your room. What you are wearing, would past as lingerie in his time. He swallows hard, fighting the desire you stride over to you and sweep you up into his arms. “I got the coffee going.” He says to you, looking out the window, avoiding looking at you.

“Ok.” You walk past him, placing a hand on his chest as you pass. Walking over to the coffee maker getting two mugs out from the cupboard. Steve watches you as you reach up into the cupboard, your shorts and shirt sneaking up with your reach revealing even more skin. “Cream or sugar?” you ask stumbling a bit as you put down the coffee mugs.

“Why don’t you sit, and I pour the coffee,” Steve says helping you on to the stool at the kitchen island. He pours you both cups of coffee, sliding one over to you. “So what made you decide to go on a date with Rumlow, really. I know that it isn’t out of fear of losing your job. You know I would never let that happen.”

“Well…no one else was asking…” you respond. Moping a bit. “I mean Tony was hinting, but he was not the right someone.”

“Oh…” Steve feeling the tension rising. “Well…” He takes a sip of his coffee, hiding his smile, watching ou adding an enormous amount of sugar to your coffee. “I am glad I intervened, Rumlow was getting a little too friendly.”

“Yeah…I…” You study Steve, then sigh. “Am I cursed? Why do I always attract the bad guys?”

“I wouldn’t say that….” Steve’s mind begins screaming at him. ‘Tell her how you feel you, idiot!’ Steve looks down at his coffee, considering admitting his feelings, when he looks back up he sees you are off your stool working your way toward him. “Uhhh…”

“Stevvvvie…” You are now next to him and he turns to you. “You saved me from the big…bad…man…” You run your hands over his chest. “How can I thank you?”

Steve instantly panics. “Ah…ummm…” Your hand begins moving down his chest as you move in. When your hand slips in between his legs he jumps up. “Oh AHH…We need to get you to bed.”

“Ohhh…I like that idea…” he picks you up carrying you into your room. Laying you on the bed. You reach for him, but he moves back.

“Good night…” Steve turns to the door. When he is about to slip through, he looks over his shoulder at you. You are already falling asleep.

********************************************** 

“And you began dating Tony 2 weeks later.” Steve finishes.

You are laughing. “I was throwing myself at you, and you panicked and ran?” Steve can’t stop chuckling, himself.

“I was so mortified…you were drunk…and I wanted…”

“Uh-huh.” You smile. “You were scared of me.”

“I didn’t know how to react. I was afraid you’d reject me.” Steve takes in a deep breath. “And I wanted our first time together…my first time. To be more memorable.”

“Ahh…you’re soo sweet.” You coo.

“Are you mocking me?” Steve pulls back slightly so he can look down at you laying on his chest.

“Oh…no, I think you were so adorable.”

“Were?” his voice turning playful, eyebrows arched.

“Oh…hush…” Your voice is soft. You are about to kiss him then you realize he never got to answer your question. “So when did you finally make your move and admit how you  
feel?”

“That…is a less embarrassing story. It was around the time that we discovered SHIELD was corrupted with HYDRA agents.”

“I was just getting back from a mission.” I saw you in the hall at SHIELD HQ and asked you out for coffee. We had made plans to grab a cup that following day, but that night Fury was shot in my apartment. It was the first time I saw Bucky since…1944.” Steve pauses thinking about that day briefly. “You took a flash drive I hid, one that fury gave me. It was something that Hydra wanted. We ended up on the run from Hydra, Tony was pissed at you for getting involved, he blamed me for it.”

******************************************************** 

“Where is it?” Steve’s anger barely contained as he slams Natasha into the wall in the vacant hospital room.

“Safe?” is all she says.

“Do better?”

“Where did you get it?” She retorts.

“Why would I tell you?” Steve’s anger edging further.

“Fury gave it to you. Why?”

“What’s on it”

“I don’t know.”

“Stop lying.” He grinds, shoving her against the wall lighter this time.

“I only act like I know everything, Rogers.”

“ I bet you knew Fury hired the pirates, didn’t you?” This statement shocks her, but she covers it well.

“Well, it makes sense. The ship was dirty, Fury needed a way in, so do you.”

“I am not gonna ask you again.” Steve getting out through his clenching his teeth.

“I gave it to Y/N, to decrypt and analyze.” She blurts out. Steve’s mind going red. Hydra is looking for this and if they discover you have it they will kill you without prejudice. Natasha picks up on his heightened rage and says the only thing she can to defuse the situation.

“I know who killed Fury’”

She proceeds to tell him about a man named the Winter Soldier. Upon hearing about this man, Steve panics, realizing he needs to get to you before this man finds you. Immediately setting off to your apartment. He walks in without knocking, his behavior immediately setting off alarm bells for you. He gets there just in time to catch you before you can insert the zip drive.

“Steve?!?” You are standing next to your desk a coffee in one hand the zip drive in the other.

“Is that the drive Natasha gave you?”

“Yeah I was just about to run decryption?” you can feel your heart racing, adrenaline pumping. “What’s going on?”

“We need to go…NOW!” Steve grabbing your arm, pulling you from the apartment, stopping to pick up your hoodie on the way out. You hop on Steves bike with him, just as you are about to turn the corner of the block from your apartment you see three SUV’s pull up to your building and a half dozen men in tac gear getting out, one of them is Rumlow.

“Steve…what?”

“Can you decrypt that drive?”

“Yes…but I need a computer…”

“We need to go someplace untraceable.”

“Um…I know. The mall…” Steve nods taking you to the nearest mall. The two of you walk inside. You are trying to maintain a calm composure, but Steve is frantically looking around. 

You find an apple store and pull Steve inside walking up to a laptop on display. You plug in the device. And began decryption. “The drive has a Level Six homing program, so as soon as we boot up SHIELD will know exactly where we are.”

“How much time do we have?”

“About nine minutes from the time I plugged it in.” You start opening windows and reading data. “Fury was right about that ship. Somebody’s trying to hide something. This drive is protected by some sort of an A.I. It keeps rewriting itself to counter my commands.” You realize at this point that there is no way you are going to crack this information in the time given so you decide to try an alternate route

“Can you override it?” Steve asks looking around again.

“The person who developed this is slightly smarter than me. Slightly. I’m going to try running a tracer.” More screens pop up. “This is a program that SHIELD developed to track hostile malware, so if we can’t read the file, maybe we can find out where it came from.” At this moment a salesperson approaches the two of you.

“Can I help you guys with anything?” he asks.

“Oh no. My fiancé was just helping me with some honeymoon destinations.” You quickly reply. Steve looks confused for a moment but then falls into his role.

“Right. We’re getting married.”

“Congratulations. Where are you guys thinking about going?” sales guy asks. Steve quickly glances back at the screen hoping the program is done.

“New Jersey” Steve replies, moving to attempt to block the screen from the nosey salesman.

“Oh.” the salesman is trying to see the screen but gives up. After studying Steve for a moment makes an absurd comment. “I have the exact same glasses. You can’t help but  
chuckle.

“Wow, you two are practically twins.” You say trying to hide the chuckle.

Sales guys chuckles, “Yeah I wish. Specimen.” Sale guy finishes framing Steve with his hands. “If you guys need anything, I’ve been Aron.” You catch Steve out of the corner of your eye, he is about to remove the glasses but reconsiders putting them back on. You can tell he is getting antsy. As if on cue.

“You said nine minutes. Come on.” Steve is closer to you now. His body heat radiating onto you.

“Relax.” You answer. “Got it.” The screen zooms in on Wheaton, New Jersey. Steve’s expression changes slightly as he leans into the computer eyes trained on the screen. “You know it?”

“I used to. Let’s go.” He pulls the drive from the computer, pulling you from the computer shop. Entering the hall he calmly begins giving you positions on all the men following you. When he tells you that you should split up you interrupt him.

“Shut up and put your arm around me. Laugh at something I said.” He complies instantly. The two of you make your way to the escalator. Your eyes fixed at the exit just beyond the bottom of the oscillating steps. You feel relief when you see Rumlow rounding the bottom, stepping onto the other side of the stairs.

You quickly spin around facing Steve. “Kiss me.” You say bluntly.

“What?” Steve’s voice confused and a bit scared.

“Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable.”

“Yes, they do.” Steve is panicking now. The thought of kissing you doing things to him, and he needs to stay focused on the mission. 

You can see the hesitation, the doubt on his face. Normally you would find it adorable, but you don’t have time for insecurities and doubts at this moment. Not wanting to wait any longer. You pull him in kissing him deeply. You pull away slowly, being caught up in the kiss yourself. Then you coolly turn away moving down the escalator.

“You still uncomfortable?” You ask him, not talking about the PDA but about how he is fighting his feeling for you. You are with Tony, and you know that even though you have begun feeling things for Steve you need to remember Tony. But you have to admit is nice to try out Steve. But now that you’ve kissed him, you know you’ll want more.

“That’s not the word I would use.” Steve mumbles. His reaction telling you that he felt it too. There was something special in that kiss, that connection.

Once you ditch the bike and “borrow” as Steve likes to say a truck the two of you head to New Jersey to the source of the data on the drive. ON the way he tells you about his days in the SSR before it became SHIELD and why the place in New Jersey was so important to him. The drive is long, so you decide you have to ask. Knowing his past you need to know.  
“Okay, I have a question for you, of which you do not have to answer.” You add this last part partially because you are afraid of the answer and partially because you are not sure if you should be jumping into this rabbit hole. “I feel like, if you don’t answer it though, you’re kind of answering it, you know?”

“What?” Steve feeling a little impatient nerve still bristling from the kiss. Still trying to figure out if it meant anything to you or if it was just because of needing to maintain your cover.

“Was that your first kiss since 1945?” You figure this is a good way to breach the conversation.

“That bad, huh?” disappointment apparent in his voice.

“I didn’t say that. Actually…” You begin but stop.

“Well, it kinda sounds like that’s what you’re saying.”

“No, I didn’t.” You try to consider your next words. “It was…I felt something…forget it.”

“It was not my first kiss since 1945. I am 95, I’m not dead!” Your mind begins wondering. Is he dating someone?

“Nobody special, though? You ask hopefully.

“No…well, someone has caught my eye. But they aren’t available.” Steve says with a side glance.

“Steve…You know Tony pretty well right?”

“Well not as well as you…but yeah.”

“Is he the type to settle?” You ask him. Your question hitting him hard.

“Y/N…I am probably not the best person to ask about your relationship with Tony.” Steve says flatly.

“You are actually the perfect person to ask…” You turn to him. Then change your line of questioning. “Do you even think about settling someday? Finding a wife having kids?”

Steve’s gaze falling on you for a few moments, then he pulls off the highway onto a dirt road, an abandoned military base appearing. “Someday…if I…I hope.” He finishes, his words broken, his thoughts racing in his mind trying to determine why you are asking him.

You both go silent as you search the debunk military base. Steve finds the secret bunker and the AI that is actually Dr. Zola. You get bombed by SHIELD/HYDRA. 

If it was not for Steve’s quick thinking you would have died there. But he throws you both into a floor grate and covers you with his shield. The two of you narrowly escape. The rest of that night is spent hiking back to two and to a man named Sam Wilson’s house, a friend Steve made.

Sam lets you both in. You and Steve take turns showering in the guest room while Sam begins to make breakfast. Steve letting you shower first. After you are done Steve takes a shower, you take this time to gather your thoughts and figure out exactly what you want to say to Steve. You look up from your hands when you hear him open the bathroom door.

“Steve… we need to talk.”

“Yeah HYDRA is back, this is not what I expected.”

“No Steve…not about HYDRA. Steve, we need to talk about Tony and I.”

“Okay. What’s going on?”

“Tony is cheating on me.” You just rip off the band-aid.

“I know…” He replies.

“How long have you knows?”

“Does it matter?”

“I…” You feel a tear falling from your eye. “I thought it did…but no I guess not. I think I am going to leave him.”

“Oh…?” Steve perks up slightly at this.

“Yeah…I wasn’t sure at first. I thought maybe if I stuck it out, he would stop…but…” Your eyes searching his. “I started falling for someone else…and now I don’t know what to do.”

Steve studies you, your eyes looking into his pleading with him to understand. He knows at that moment that you want him, need him. At that moment he loses the struggle that he has been fighting. He allows himself to forget about Tony, his closest friend and leans in capturing your lips with his. The kiss is soft and sweet. Giving in to him instantly, arms wrapping around him. Pulling him into you wrap your legs around him, climbing onto his lap, deepening the kiss. Steve’s hands moving up your back slowly pressing you against him. Then you hear someone clearing their throat over your shoulder. Steve breaking the kiss, looking to see Sam standing in the doorway of the room.

“I made breakfast. If you all eat that sort of thing.”

******************************************************** 

“And that was it…not words really needed to be said.” Steve smiles at you. “Even then we just knew what the other was thinking, feeling, without having to say it.

“Steve…so Rumlow is HYDRA? What about Fury? Was he HYDRA too?”

“No…Fury…he was as surprised at the rest of us. He took the dismemberment of SHIELD hard; he lost his purpose. A lot of us did that say. Some of us had to redirect. Find a new purpose. You and a few other SHIELD members were absorbed into the Avengers under the umbrella of Starks company.” You nod, yawning.

“Oh, babe you should sleep. I can go and come back later.” Steve says starting to get up.

“NO!” you cry out more loudly then you intended. “No…please stay.” You say softer this time.

“Ok...” Steve says shifting so you can curl up on him like you used to. You smile up at him, taking in a deep breath. Then moving in, kissing him softly at first. The kiss quickly  
becoming more heated before Steve breaks it.

“Shh…” he hushes you against the top of your head. “Rest now.” You nod snuggling closer into him. Sleep quickly finding you.


	30. Missing Pieces***

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So there is only one more chapter after this. The end is near. 
> 
> Then I am going to write a sequel to one of my other works Life. Love and Secrets.

“We need to find Tony.”

“Steve, we’re trying. It’s not like he is incapable of disappearing.”

“I…I know. But damn it we let him get away with this shit once before and now…I can’t let him do this anymore. He needs to answer for what he did to her.”

“How is…how is she adapting.”

“We are pretty much starting over.” Steve taking in a breath to stave off the anger he is feeling. “Tony all but completely wiped me from her memories.”

“But Wanda said she was regaining some of her memories back.” Natasha pushes.

“She is, but the majority of it is still jumbled.”

“Well, maybe Wanda can make some more headway.”

“If Y/n lets her. She hasn’t been the most forthcoming in letting Wanda help her.” Steve sighs. “Of course after everything she’s been through, I wouldn’t be either.”

“Steve, just give her time. She has been through a lot. And if she were to get all her memories back at once it would overwhelm her.”

“Natasha, you read Wanda’s report. The only memories she has of me is a brief affair after Rumlow disappeared and me…” Steve can’t even finish the words.

“Steve…that didn’t happen…she will realize that. Just give her time.”

\------------------------------------------------------------- 

“Hey, Y/N. How are you feeling today?” Wanda asks setting in on the chair next to you.

“Physically? I’m good. Antsy even. Mentally I feel like my head is stuck in a blender, and someone threw in two versions of my life into the mix.” You  
groan.

“Well, that is pretty accurate actually,” Wanda says with smile.

“If you…if you straighten it all out will it hurt less?”

“Well, I can’t do it all at once. It would be too much for you to process. But we can do bits and pieces over time. It will take a week or so but we can get you back.”

“And what will happen to the memories that Tony planted?”

“Well, I can’t remove them…but I can’t make sort them and differentiate them in your mind. You will remember both, but you will also know the reality and the fantasy of the memories.”

“Can you make me forget some of it at least?” 

“I can maybe remove a couple, as long as they are not crucial memories.”

“Please…” Your eyes pleading. “I want him back, but I can’t give myself to him…not really. Not with…” you feel tears seeping from your eyes. “Wanda…  
please…I love him…I know that now.”

Wanda smiles. “I know… I will do what I can.” She reaches out, placing her hands on the sides of the year head getting to work.

******************************* 

It’s been months since Wanda started working on your mind. Your thoughts are becoming clearer. There are still times of confusion, especially where Steve and Rumlow are concerned. A lot of your memories of your relationship with Steve get muddled with the fake memories of your fake relationship with Rumlow. 

You can tell that the confusion is hurting Steve. Wanda reminds you repeatedly that you and Rumlow only had the one date. But that does not help separate the realities. You on occasion confuse the fake dates with Rumlow with the real dates with Steve. 

There is also the hint that there is something that everyone is hiding from you. Something that happened and no one is telling you about it. You feel like it has something to do with Thanos. You are only just now learning of his actions, the snap and the disappearance of so many. People who you are only now regaining memories of through your sessions with Wanda.

You decide to try to jog your memories by talking it over with Steve, starting with more questions about you and Tony and Steve and yourself. Then working up to filling in the missing blanks of more recent events.

Heading down to the hall to your rooms, Steve and the group just came back from some recon mission. They have been discussing it for days, but you have no clue what they are talking about. It seems to be something big though. But you are busy with your new baby. James Grant Rogers, he is quite the handful, but he is also the center of your universe. If there was any doubt as to who the baby’s father was those doubts were dismissed when the blonde-haired blue-eyed baby boy made his appearance into his world.

“Steve…” You call out to the room as you enter. Then you hear the shower. You walk over to the door knocking on it. “Steve?”

“I’ll be right out.” He says turning off the shower. You sit at the end of the bed waiting for him. He exits the bathroom in a towel. Water tracing his muscular cures as it trickles down his slightly damp skin. He looks at you, hearing silence. “Where’s James?”

“Nat and Bruce stole him. They’re taking him ‘baby shopping’ whatever that is?”

“Oh…” Steve’s eyebrow arching as he moves over to you. “So you are free…today?”

“Captain…are you suggesting….” You don’t finish as Steve’s lip crashing into yours. Pushing you down against the bed. Steve’s arm sliding around your back pressing you into him as he moves you both further on to the bed.

He breaks the kiss when he gets you into place. Kissing down your neck.

“Steve…” You giggle when he hums before licking a stripe up the side of your neck. “Steve…I was hoping…”

“Oh, baby…you don’t need to hope you just need to ask.” His hands moving down to your waist, the left going under your shirt pushing it up, the right going into your leggings diving between your folds.

“Oh…mmmm….” You forget what you wanted to ask Steve. His right hand beginning to slowly test your entrance. A finger pumping inside you while his thumb rubs your nub. “Steve…!” You are quickly filling with need.

“I missed you.” He says before kissing you again. This time with more passion. His finger being joined with another inside of you. While his left-hand cups your breast lightly massaging it. “I need you.” He pants into your ear while he rubs his erection against your thigh. In response, your hands start pulling the towel from his waist.

Steve pulls away tossing the towel aside and quickly begins undressing you. In moments you are both naked, his lips kissing down your body, worshiping each inch. Your weave your hands in his hair. “Steve…please I need to feel you inside.” You pull on his head slightly, and he moves back up to you. Kissing you deeply as he slowly pushes himself inside you. You moan at the stretch. It has been too long, you feel too full, it is almost painful.

“Steve…God…”

“I know baby…” He stills for a moment before slowly pulling out then moving back in. His movements are slow and tortuous in all the right ways. You kiss him deeply again, enjoying the feeling of him inside you. “God you are soo…perfect.”

After a few moments, you can feel Steve’s pace speeding up, your body reacting in kind as your arousal, your need rises too. Steve is now thrusting into you at a steady pace. “You feel so good…. taking…me…fuck…you’re so tight…” Steve pants.

“Yes…oh god! Steve…. more…I need…” As if reading your mind, his angle changes, wrapping his arms around your knees pushing your legs to his chest. “Steve…Ahhh….YES!”

“Oh…Fuck….” Steve’s movements becoming more forced. His trusts harder, the bed bouncing with each thrust of Steve’s hips. “SO…fuck…you…. YES Squeeze me tight…”

You feel your orgasm reaching its peak at Steve’s thrusts come faster. “Steve! ... YESSS!” You tumble over the edge; Steve keeps pounding into you showing no sign of slowing.

“That’s it baby taking it all, milk me…” He pushed your legs out for a moment before pulling the back of your legs against him. He sits up, holding your ankles wide-spreading your legs so he can watch himself entering you. “So beautiful….my cock splitting you open…so needy…” He is panting now, his thrusts slamming the bed into the wall. 

“Steve…. please….” you cry out your release is chasing your last one, more intense, you mind turning white with thought.

“Yes…beg for me…” Steve pants. His hands moving to you hips his arms keeping your legs in place. With his hands on your hips, he grips hard, slamming into you with reckless abandon. “Tell me how much you need me…” Your mind is overwhelmed with the pleasure your third release is promising. Your body is already floating with pleasure.

“Steve…Captain…I love you.” Your words sending Steve into a frenzy. His thrusts turning erratic. “Fuck…ohhh…”

“That’s it, baby…one more…. show me how good I can be…. fuck…arhhh…Christ, you are so tight.” His hand leaving one side of your hip rubbing your clit. “Taking…fuck…filling you with…. another…. FUCK!” he cries out as you release together. You see stars as he trusts into you a few times harder than before. “TAKE…IT…ALL!” He grunts spilling into you.

“Steve….” You pull him to you kissing him deeply as he stills inside you. You feel his body resting above you. You wrap your legs around him, holding him on and inside you. There is a slight tickling as his breath ghosts over your glistening skin. His eyes meeting yours. “I do love you.” You finish.

“I know baby…I just…” You can tell Steve is about to say something but stops. “I can’t get enough of you!” he says instead. Kissing down the side of your neck. You wrap your arms around him pulling his lower body closer to you. You can feel his erection building again.

“Steve…what is wrong? I…” you cry out as Steve thrusts into you.

“I need you…Please…” Steve starts pounding into you again. This time his motions are more emotional, less needy, more frantic, his hands gripping your hips. He is simply using your body at this point. His hips snapping into you.

“Steve…Yess….God….” You moan. Unable to do much else.

“Fuck…oh….Y/N…” Steve’s grunting, animalistic sounds coming from him. “Take me…sooo…Fuck…just like….” Whatever he is trying to say is lost to grunts. You grab onto him trying to hold on. The bed to banging and bouncing. You see a darkness in Steve’s eyes, the man you love is gone for a moment, then he is back, but there is no love there, just need. He is using you to fill a need. “I need…You… Y/N…fuck yes squeeze me…take every drop!” You are starting to fade, your mind leaving your body. You are aware but unfeeling. Steve continues pounding into you unknowing or uncaring of your state.

“Steve…please…Steve…”

“I know baby….WE will… I will…”

You have no idea what he means but then suddenly it all comes together your body begins to climax, spasming as your orgasm overtakes you. You begin to convulse, Steve showing no sign of slowing. Until finally he fills you again, cumming inside you hard. He collapsed next to you, pulling away from you his body, worn, tired. His only touch is him reaching over holding your legs to your chest, kissing you deeply. You slowly begin to come back into yourself. After getting your heart rate within normal parameters you look over to Steve who is moving to wrap you into his arms.

“Steve…what’s going on. What is with the urgency?”

“We have a plan. To get back everyone.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it is kinda crazy, but we’ve been testing it and it works.”

“What is it?”

“Time travel…” Steve says as if saying it out loud is foreign to him.

“What? How?” 

“Well, Scott…he had the idea. But we needed someone who understood quantum mechanics.”

“So you’re talking about Bruce?”

“Yes but also……Tony.”

“You’ve been working with Tony?”

“For the better good. We have a plan we are going to go retrieve the stones from the past and using them to bring everyone back.”

“Can that work?”

“We have already tested it.”

“And…”

“Y/N…we We have a bigger decision, we all need to decide if we want to undo the last few months. Everything that happened after the snap.” Most of the crew want to forget it all. But for us, that would mean…”

“We will lose James, we won’t be engaged.”

“Exactly.”

“Do the others know this?”

“I don’t think they really thought about it, I think that with everything that has happened…most of them just want to forget about it.”

“Steve we can’t… I can’t… I can’t go through all that memory mess again.”

“Ok…I wanted to make sure that is how you would feel.”

“Why…?” You are about to ask them you realize why he is asking. “You wanted to be sure that I still wanted to be with you.” Steve’s face falls.

“Tony…you did have feelings for him…and this would have been a second chance for you to regain what you had.”

“Steve…I’m not going anywhere.”

“Well, we are running the main mission tomorrow.” Steve starts, looking into your face he pushes a stray hair away. “We are all going back to retrieve the stones. Splitting into teams, Tony and I are heading back to New York.” He smiles taking in a breath. “WE are going back to when we first met.”

You smile. “So you going to tell me to run away from Tony?”

“No…” I can’t alter the past. I would love to, but I can’t”

“You’re scared.” You realize. “This mission, it has you scared.”

“Baby, I…this can go wrong in so many ways.”

“I believe in you. You’ve overcome impossible odds before. You can do this.” You say softly. “James and I will be here waiting for you.” You cuddle up to Steve, just needing him to hold you. Your fears of tomorrow heavy on your mind even if you didn’t share them with Steve they are still there.


	31. Time Heist

“Bruce…” You move closer to him. “I can’t do this.”

“You can just hit that button when we are ready. We will get the rest.”

“I…” You want to tell him that this is harder on you then you thought.

“Y/N…It will only be a few moments. Well, be back before you know it.” You sigh studying the council again. You feel Bruce’s large hand gently touching your back. “We’ll be okay…I promise.”

You nod, watching as the group goes over the plans again. Steve must feel your eyes on him. He turns looking over to you. Turning away from Tony he walks over to you. Leaving Tony watching, as Steve walks over to you. You smile, walking toward him too. Soon you are in his arms. “Baby, we’ll be fine.”

“Steve, I feel like I just got you back. We just got our family, the life we’ve always wanted.” You can feel tears falling down your cheeks.

“Y/N…” You start sobbing uncontrollably. Steve pulling you into him holding you close.

“Steve…I can’t….lose you.” You try to control your breathing.

“Breath…” Steve says softly. “Slow deep breaths.” You slowly calm down, Steve holding you then entire time. Steve feels you calming. “There you go.” He softly soothes you.

“Steve…I’m…I can’t. Promise me you are coming home.” Your eyes pleading with him, tears still welling in them.

“Always.” He says quickly capturing your lips with his. He kisses you deeply passionately, your mind going blank. You wrap your arms around him tighter, never wanting to let go. Soon he breaks the kiss gently pushing you back so he can look into your eyes. “When we get back…I think we should work on giving James a little sister or brother to look after.”

“Steve…really?” You can’t hide the hopefulness in your voice.

“Yeah…and I think it’s time we get a house. Something like what Clint has if that’s okay with you?”

“Steve…I love you…that sounds perfect.” He kisses you one more time softly.

“Baby…I gotta go.” You nod trying not to cry again. You watch him as he joins the group, you see Tony watching you. You turn away not wanting to look at him. You walk over to the control panel waiting for Steve to give you the signal.

He gives a short pep talk. Hearing it, making you love him more. They move to their spots and he nods to you. You take a deep breath and hit the button. The machine powers up, a few seconds later they are all gone.

You stand by the council unsure of what else to do. The seconds seem to be like minutes and the minutes like hours. In what seems like an eternity you hear a zap followed by several more zaps. You take a second to process but then you see Steve. He looks around seeing you moving around the counsel to him. He rushes off the platform pulling you into his arms. “See baby, I’m back.” He kisses you deeply. “I’m here for both of you.”

“I am so glad you’re back.” You feel yourself crying. “I was so scared. I…” Steve captures your mouth in another kiss. You break the second kiss when you hear Bruce asking something.

“Clint, where’s Nat?” Bot h you and Steve look to see Clint on his knees a blank look on his face. After a few moments of silence, you watch Bruce drop on a knee too. You turn to see Steve, a tear falling from his eye. You start to cry as well, as the realization of it comes to you. Thanos went to Vormir with Gamora and he left without her. That is what Nebula said. Nat made the sacrifice for them all.

You don’t have to say anything. The truth is like an invisible fog a heavy fog filling the room. No one moves or speaks, everyone is lost in their own thoughts. After a few moments, Tony speaks. “I should get to work on the…” He doesn’t finish. Slowly walking off the platform and toward where you and Steve are standing his eyes locking with yours for a few moments as he walks past. You feel your heart beginning racing as you start to panic. Steve pulls you back into him thankful to have you in his arms.

Next to leave is Bruce. He takes a moment to stop next to you. “Y/N…thank for giving me the time I had…” He pauses unable to say her name, turning to Steve. “Don’t take a minute for granted.” He smiles, tears forming in his eyes. “You live the life I never got.” Bruce nods walking away turning you see him heading outside.

“Steve…I” Steve places a finger gently on your lips. 

“I want to go see James.” He says to you softly.

“Ok.” You say tears filling your eyes again. “Of course.” The two of you go to the nursery. James is awake waving his arms in the air as his mobile is spinning. The day nurse nods at the two of you and quietly leaves.

“Y/N…I saw Peggy.” He says suddenly, looking at James, avoiding your expression. 

You can feel your heart sink. After everything you did, running out on your wedding, the memory wipes, your hesitancy to reconcile your relationship. You look down and away. “And…”

“She looked okay. She…” Steve’s voice turning quiet. “She looked sad. I think she was still morning me.” You turn, looking at Steve, unsure of what you can say to make him feel better. He returns your look. “It was hard to see her, knowing she never moved on.” You can tell there is more he wanted to say but he says nothing, he just turns and looks back at his baby.

“Steve…Are you happy?” You as suddenly needing to know if he is having doubts, after seeing Peggy.

“What?” He turns fully facing you his hand cupping your cheek. “Of course I am.” He smiles at you, but you can see it is forced.

“I…” You swallow hard. James fusses a bit, so you pick him up rocking him a few seconds. He quickly quiets and you can tell he has fallen asleep. You gently lay him back in the crib. “I thought with the ability to go back…” You feel tears threatening to fall, and quickly walk away heading through the adjoining door to your room. You busy yourself with folding James's clothes and putting them into neat piles in the laundry basket.

“Y/N…” Steve says sitting next to you. “Peggy is my first love. She will always have a place in my heart, just like I will always have a place in hers.”

“Steve…I don’t need to hear this!”

“BUT…” He continues. “She is not the one who taught me how to be a leader. She is not the one who taught me the life goes beyond the battlefield. She did show me how to hope and dream.”  
You turn to look at him as his voice turns softer. “She isn’t the one who gave me the best gift of all.”

“James…” you smile.

“Well…second best gift.” Steve smiles. “True love.” He kisses you sweetly.

“I was so afraid you’d stay, that you wouldn’t come back.” You admit.

“What?! Baby, I made you a promise. And I intend to keep it.” Steve says his voice turning into a cocky flirty tone. “Maybe we should start making good on that promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, I lied this story has a couple more chapters left in it. But the ned is neigh...lol.


	32. Goodbyes

“So are we ready?” You ask Steve over breakfast. 

“I think Tony has been working on the glove with Bruce all night.” Steve’s voice is soft.

“Steve…about Tony.”

“Yes…I know I should have told you about him.” He reaches out taking your hands in his. “We needed the help and…”

“Steve…its fine.” You sigh squeezing his hand a bit. Whatever it takes right?” You look down at your hand in his. You think about how lucky you are. Then you remember not everyone is that lucky. “Steve…where is Bruce?”

“He said something about needing some time. After Nat…” Steve’s voice trailing off.

“I’m going to go find him. I can’t imagine what he’s feeling. If you…if I lost you, I wouldn’t know what to do.” You go off to find Bruce, hearing Steve moving to follow you. When you reach Bruce he is sitting on the end of the dock. You slowly walk up next to him and sit down. After a few moments, you reach your hand out and place it on his hand resting on his knee.

“She was family…Bruce.” You start, pausing to regain your composure and think out your words carefully. “She sacrificed herself to save everyone, her family, the world…you.” You look over to Bruce and he looks back at you.

“I know.” Is all he can say. The two of you sit in silence looking over the lake. After a few moments, Steve comes up to the two of you.

“Tony has something.” You look over your shoulder at Steve and nod. “Bruce…We won't let her sacrifice go to waste.” Steve extends a hand to you helping you up. Once standing you turn back to Bruce.

“Bruce, you coming?” You watch as his shoulders rise and fall with a big sigh. “Nat would want us to finish this.” You add. Bruce wipes his eyes and nods, getting up. The three of you walk towards the compound to Tony’s lab. Once you all get inside Tony looks at Bruce, sees the state he is in and nods to him.

“Bruce, we’ll get her back,” Tony says then looks to you. “We’ll make this right. We have to. We’ll make it count I….”

“Hold on…what are you saying?” Thor interrupts.

“I’M SAYING…” Tony's voice becomes harsh, not like being interrupted. Thor waves him off stalking over to the window.

“Yeah, you're acting like she's dead. Why are we acting like she's dead? We have the stones, right? As long as we have the stones, we can bring her back, isn't that right?” Thor turns to you and Bruce, quiet desperation in his eyes. Then he turns back to Tony “So stop this shit. We're the Avengers, get it together.”

It's now Clint’s turn to speak his voice barely audible, it is quiet and wracked with grief and guilt. “We can’t get her back.” Clint looks over to Thor, eyes welling with tears.

Thor refuses to hear this. “Wha-what?” He chuckles an insane laugh.

Clint repeats himself frustration making his voice louder and firm. “It can’t be undone. It can’t.”

Thor laughs again, but the laugh is full of pain. The pain you know he is hiding. He has lost so much, and you know he blames himself for Thanos getting the stones to being with. “I'm sorry. No offense, but you're a very earthly being. Okay? We're talking about space magic. And "can't" seems very definitive don't you think?”

Clint stands up squaring up in front of Thor. “Yeah, look, I know that I'm way outside my paygrade here. But she still isn't here, is she? It can't– be undone. Or that's at least what the red floating guy had to say.” Clint suddenly gets even angrier and starts to move into Thor’s space. His chest almost pushing against Thor’s. “Maybe you wanna go talk to him, okay? GO GRAB YOUR HAMMER, AND YOU GO FLY AND TALK TO HIM!”

The expression of Thor’s face coupled with the rest of the group gathering close to breaking up the impending fight makes him step back and turn away. His voice changing quieter reserved tone. “It was supposed to be me. She sacrificed her life for that goddamn stone. She bet her life on it.” After a moment he turns to Tony. “You have done some stupid shit in the time I ‘ve know you.” Everyone’s eyes turn glance between you and Tony, Clint continues unphased. “But You have to get this right, for her.”

Bruce adds his own thoughts in for good measure. “She's not coming back. We have to make it worth it. We have to.”

You reach out to him, resting your hand on his back. “We will.”

“All right. The glove's ready. Question is, who's gonna snap their freaking fingers?” Rocket blurts out interrupting the moment. For the short time you’ve know him you know he isn’t one for sentimentality, or he doesn’t like to show it.

Thor steps forward immediately. “I'll do it.”

“Excuse me?” You turn to Thor. You know he is wanting a win but they all were.

“It's okay.” He says as if that is an answer and starts to walk over to the new gauntlet. You rush in front of him as the rest of the team stands by calling out “no’s” and other halting phrases. Thor looks down at you and gently picks you up by the forearms setting you aside. This movement gets Steve’s attention and he quickly intercedes.

“Wait, wait, Thor, just wait. We haven't decided who's gonna put that on yet.”

“I'm sorry. What, we're just sitting around waiting for the right opportunity?

“We should at least discuss it.” Scott interrupts getting Steve’s back.

“No, no, sitting here staring at that thing is not gonna bring everybody back. I'm the strongest Avenger, okay? So this responsibility falls upon me. It's my duty.” Thor states. 

“Thor, we…It's not about that.” You begin But Thor is not hearing it. He places his finger on you lips hushing you saying “SHHH” really loud. Getting everyone’s attention as Steve pulls you to him.

“It's not that– Stop it! Just let me!” He chokes up in tears for a moment. “Just let me do it. Just let me do something good. Something right.” There it is, he feels responsible for everything that happened. Tony takes this moment to speak up.

“Look– It's not just the fact that that glove is channeling enough energy to light up a continent, I'm telling you, you're in no condition.” You glare at Tony. No one has mentioned it but Thor has been moping since he lost his home and half his people. He is not in peak shape, he’s gotten a little pudgy actually, but if you to be honest none of them really kept in peak condition over these last couple years.

“What do you– What do you think is coursing through my veins right now?” Thor answers. Glaring at Tony.

“Cheez Whiz?” Tony quips. You shot Tony a death glare, and he holds his hand up in deflection.

“Lightning,” Thor responds ignoring Tony’s quip.

“Yeah,” Tony says dismissively but you are the only one to pick up on his tone.

“Lightning won't help you, pal. It's gotta be me.” Bruce says entering the conversation. “You saw what those stones did to Thanos. It almost killed him. None of you could survive.”

“How do we know you will?” Steve asks. You turn to him realizing that he is considering offering himself up. You pull Steve’s hand into your praying that he won’t.

“We don't. But the radiation's mostly gamma.” He turns his gaze to the gauntlet, then looks to Tony for confirmation.

“Banner has a point.” Tony concedes. And with that, it is decided. Banner walks over to the gauntlet, eyeing it carefully.

Pushing closer to Steve, he wraps his arms around you, holding you close to him. 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., do me a favor and activate Barn Door Protocol. Will you?” Tony says to the air. 

“Yes, boss.” The building immediately goes into lockdown.

“Everybody comes home.” You watch as Bruce slips the gauntlet onto his hand and immediately the stones begin to glow as does his arm. He drops to his knees pain shooting through his body.

“Take it off! Take it off!” Thor shouts, anxiously shifting from foot to foot.

“No, wait. Bruce, are you okay?” Steve asks, pushing you behind him, blocking you in case something happens.

“Talk to me, Banner,” Tony says the sound of worry foreign-sounding coming from him,

“I'm okay. I'm okay.” Bruce grinds out through his teeth. Bruce screams, fighting through the intense pain coursing through his body courtesy of the gauntlet, and manages to snap his fingers. He faints and the gauntlet slides off his arm, Clint kicks it away.

“Bruce!” You drop down next to him, Steve standing behind you.

“Don't move him,” Tony calls out, spraying him with some type of foam that seems to cool the damaged skin.

“Did it work?” Bruce is asking you desperately, you just continue looking at him unable to say anything. You just feel helpless looking at the man in such pain.

“Worth a shot. It's over. It's okay.” Thor says soothingly from Bruce’s other side. You look up from Bruce, looking around the room at the others. They are all watching you with Bruce or studying Bruce for signs of recovery except Scott and Barton. Clint is talking to someone on his phone, and Scott is walking over to the window overlooking the atrium.

“Guys– I think it worked!” Scott calls out over his shoulder. You turn to see what he is looking at and see an oddly increased amount of birds in the tree inside the atrium.

“Steve?” You look up to Steve who is also looking at the window. “Did we just get them back?”

“I think so…” is all Steve can say. Suddenly the alarms go off. “Get James and get to the safe room. NOW!” He kisses you quickly then you run off to get James. Steve heads off the other direction to suit up.

You get to the safe room and wait. James quietly stares at you while you panic. You turn on the monitors and watch as the team faces off against Thanos. You can’t believe he is there; he’s supposed to be dead. You can’t see a lot but you see enough to know the battle is not going good, but then you see golden circles appear and people pouring out of them. You realize it is everyone that you lost, everyone that Bruce brought back with the snap. James begins to fuss in your arms. You begin to rock him then realize it is probably his feeding time. You realize you forgot his bottle. “Damn it, Steve.”

You feel the frustration building inside you. You really wish he was here with you. But you know this is his job, you knew this and chose to be with him. You just wish it was like it was when you first started dating. He was larger than life, invincible, but then you saw a different side. The side of him that would come home with cuts and gashes. There were times when he would be radios silent and you would worry, especially when he did not return when planned.

You fight the urge but then give in, turning on the sound for the coms. All you hear is Steve’s voice. “Everyone Tony’s down…I repeat Tony is down.” You search eh screens to try to see what is going on, where Tony is, and you find nothing. You sink to the floor and cry. You know what he did to you, you have been told, but you have no memory of it. The only thing you remember is the life the two of you once had, the memories he implanted and the feeling that lingered for him. He was a man you once loved, a man, a friend you still cared about, even if you knew you shouldn’t.

You try desperately to find Tony on the screen, then suddenly the door to the saferoom opens and you see your nanny in the door. “F.R.I.D.A.Y., sent me. You need to go to Tony, now.” She hands you a bracelet. “Use this.” You hand James over to her. And put the bracelet on. It quickly morphs into a suit. You quickly take off, needing to get to Tony. You take to the air the moment you are outside and fly over the battel ground quickly seeing Peter crouched on the ground you land near him. Tony looks up at you and tries to smile. His face is badly burned on one side as is his entire body.

“Hey, sug...” you place your hand on Tony's chest and Tony rests his hand on yours.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” You start but the AI is already telling you what you didn’t want to hear.

“Life functions are critical.” Tony smiles. You try to smile back.

“Tony. Look at me.” Tony looks at you. Your eyes filling with tears. “I forgive you.” You start and you see tears welling in his eyes. Thanks to you we're gonna be okay, all of us.” You lean in a kiss him, softly and deeply. When you pull back you look into Tony’s eyes one last time. He reaches his good arm out to you. Caressing your cheek, the glow of Tony's breastplate flickers then goes dark for good. You begin to sob falling onto his lap unable to hold it in. Within seconds you feel a hand on your shoulder and turn to see Steve.

“How…how long have…”

“Long enough.” He pulls you into his arms. “I’m so sorry,” Steve says to you. A shadow falls over the two of you and you look up to see Strange standing near you.

“It was the only way.” He says softly to you and you nod knowing he would know.

A few months after Tony’s funeral, you are clearing out his office. It is about to become Steve’s now. In a surprising twist, Tony left everything to You and Steve, with the explanation that he is the only one who could carry on the mantle. While cleaning out the office you find a small silver box with a note attached to it. “Give to Y/N in case of my demise.” You open it to find a video projection device. You close the case and put it aside.

Later that evening, you snuggle up next to Steve on your sofa. James is finally down for the night, completely exhausted after spending the day with his namesake. Bucky took him to the park and then the mall. It was amusing to see Bucky being the doting uncle, completely not what you expected but Steve told you that he took care fo his siblings growing up so it made perfect sense to him.

“Are you sure you're ready for this?” Steve asks you and he holds the video device out to you.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” You say and activate the device. An image of Tony pops up, projecting him on the arm chair across from you.

“Everybody wants a happy ending, right? But it doesn't always roll that way. Maybe this time. I'm hoping if you play this back, it's in celebration. I hope families are reunited, I hope we get it back, and something like a normal version of the planet has been restored. If there ever was such a thing. God, what a world. Universe, now. If you told me ten years ago that we weren't alone, let alone, you know, to this extent, I mean, I wouldn't have been surprised. But come on, you know? The epic forces of darkness and light that have come into play. And, for better or worse, that's the reality you are going to be going on in, you, Steve and babycicle.” You chuckle at the nickname. Looking up at Steve, seeing shaking his head, a faint smile on his face.

“So I thought I'd probably better record a little greeting... In the case of an untimely death on my part. I mean, not that, death at any time isn't untimely. This time travel thing that we're gonna try and pull off tomorrow, it's– it's got me scratching my head about the survivability of it all. That's the thing. Then again, that's the hero gig. Part of the journey is the end. I guess you already know that score, you are the one who got mixed up with a couple of crazy people one overly egocentric one who was dumb enough to lose you, and one who was wise enough to know to hold into you with everything he has. But of course, they do say with age comes wisdom and, well, Cap is a fossil so…Just know regardless of the outcome, I have never seen you so happy and…glowing? Is that a bad thing to say? Steve is good for you, and you for him. Who am I to stand in the way?

Tony suddenly gets up walking towards his camera. “What am I even trippin' for? Everything's gonna work out exactly the way it's supposed to.” Leaning down, Tony smiles at you. “From here to the stars, always…” then the video goes dead.

You sit in silence wiping the tears from your eyes. Slowly Steve curls you into him. Caressing the back of your head as you begin to cry harder. “I forgave him for what he did.”

“I know.”

“Do you think he believed me?”

“Yes, I do. He loved you, in the only way he knew how.” Steve whispers against your head.

“I loved him too, just not the way he wanted me to.”

“I know.”


End file.
